Vatican

w000000t!


Italians live a damn long far away
To get there, it’d take forever and a day
If you hang a louie down in old Canahookey
Meet a girl named Susie who gives you a noogie
You just might find true love
Or maybe not
But that’s not the reason I set out on this rhyme
And if you get out of line, I can stop on a dime
Don’t put me in jail, I’ve commited no crime
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time
We’re right on pace to be out of place
In this little thing we call the human race
Back to the venture, nay the quest at hand
Traveling west in our sleek mini van
We notice a man in a cool leisure suit
He’s got a nice smell, and some stories to boot
He tells us of boats that go abroad
Words can’t describe how anxious we are
So we climb on the boat at 1:53
Our chests are pounding with anxiety
The skipper comes to us and says listen close
He doesn’t say a word, he just passes a note
We were all taken aback by the written warning
“Ship is sinking, we’ll be dead by the morning”
Naturally factually we’d give our right hand
To not be buried dead in the sand
So we found the leak and did our best
But fixing this break would be quite a test
We tried bubble gum, tape, paper clips and more
We were all gonna die, wait is that a shore?
The ship sunk thirteen yards from land
Luckily we found life vests at hand
So we doggie paddled up to the edge of a cave
And for the night, this is where we stayed
We woke in the morning to quite a surprise
Little rabid weasels, pecking at our eyes
Lucky for us, only our skipper got blind…ed
We left the cave and we hit the town
Out of a pub came an infectious sound
We went inside and what did we see
On the guitar was Mr. Galilee!
I stood up and said “Jesus come close”
You are dead, everybody knows
The man got all red and he fumed
He wasn’t Jesus, it was a costume
So we left as I contemplate
How could I have made such a stupid mistake
We left the pub and we sure felt strange
But Italy was only three days away!
So we hopped on a bus and boy was that weird
There was a midget on a tryke and a girl with a beard
The bearded lady didn’t look too happy
And then she yelled out “make it snappy”
The driver didn’t take to kindly to this
So he ran the bus right into a ditch
They got out and they started to fight
But this all stopped when they saw the midg on the trike
He was careening down a hill at an alarming rate
Sadly enough, there were no brakes
We ran after him as fast as we could
And we ended up in a quaint neighborhood
Marios and Luigis as far as we could see
Then we realized we’re in Italy
So we hitched a ride to our destination
And then we caused quite a sensation
We were finally at the Vatican
Cowinkydink, that’s the name of our band!

Oh we’re here
And we’re never leaving
Oh my dear
Looks are so deceiving
We’re in the Vatican
Fall on our face again
We’re in the Vatican
We’re home