bratbassist
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 510 | August 27th, 2006 at 03:57pm Life and death
A new grave stone,
A new birth,
A new body beneath the earth.
A young boy,
Only 17,
Crashed his dads car after the thing's he had seen.
A nasty crash,
Into a lake,
Killed himself,
For his fathers sake.
A crying father,
Mourning his son,
He does'nt understand,
Why didnt he just run?
A squeeling baby,
Growing up fast,
A book full of pictures so the memories will last,
Her dad died at such a young age,
Taken away,
In a fit of rage.
A little toddler,
Another brawl,
Her grandad thinking,
That life is worth it after all.
Thanks for reading, please give me all your comments and critisism. |
Goodbye, Norma Jeane
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4724 | August 27th, 2006 at 04:11pm Not bad.
But the last parts :
Her dad died at such a young age,
and
Her grandad thinking,
That life is worth it after all.
They kind of had me confused; Cause in the 2nd stanza it talks about a 17 year old boy...But apart from that, not bad at all  |
grandma death.
Geek
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 170 | August 27th, 2006 at 04:12pm Wow...it was very good.
I loved it. Great job. |
We. Are. Pilots.
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 161 | August 27th, 2006 at 05:04pm prretty. |
bratbassist
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 510 | August 28th, 2006 at 03:14pm well, the grandad is the dad of teh 17 year old that died, and the baby is the daughter of the 17 year old... |
Goodbye, Norma Jeane
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4724 | August 28th, 2006 at 03:23pm Ohhh.
Okay. thanks for clearing that up  |
Lehka
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 373 | August 28th, 2006 at 04:14pm oh i get it
was confused at first. . .
its really good though. |
radioactive
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 338
 | August 29th, 2006 at 07:05am Aww sad =[
But its a cool poem =] |
