I got pwned
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 64 | September 5th, 2006 at 12:31am Mommy Dearest,
I'm sorry for what I've done.
I'm sorry that I took the knife.
I'm sorry I took the gun.
I'm sorry I had hurt myself,
In this horrible hurtful way.
I sorry I made you cry.
I'm sorry I didn't stay.
I'm sorry I let him get to me.
You were right and I was wrong.
Boys are just a stupid thing.
You were right all along..
I should have listened when I could.
I should have paid attention.
But now it's far too late
Far too late to mention..
That he had me at hello
I was simply just in love.
I couldn't help the way I felt
He fit me like a glove.
And when that boy left me..
Mommy, i was heartbroken.
He left me crying bloody tears
There was no other option
I'm sorry Mommy, I really am.
I wish I didn't love him.
I wish that I was alive.
But those chances are slim.
If I could I would come back
For you and the rest of them
That family that I miss so much
But now I am a gem.
Just someone to be remembered
A little, lonely girl.
I was just a teen, too.
Stuck in her own world.
Tell my bestfriend that I am sorry
That we didn't go the mall
To shop and laugh and have some fun
To simply do it all.
Tell Daddy that I'm sorry too.
That I didn't finish school.
And become that doctor he wanted me to be
That would have been cool..
Tell Brother that I'm sorry.
For leaving him alone.
I didn't mean to hurt him
If only my love for him had shown.
I must go now.
I love you, Mommy. |
Love my insanity
Jackass
Age: 93
Gender: Female
Posts: 1591 | September 5th, 2006 at 12:34am That was really powerful. I shall post one of my many tomorrow. |
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801
  | September 5th, 2006 at 12:35am Steph... I'm really sorry, I really am.
But killing yourslef is not an option.
I know you don't know me.
But I lost my best friend to suicide, and have almost lost the love of my life to it, too.
I've lost family that I love dearly,
and I don't want to lose you. |
Kristmas_Tsanne
Great Success!
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 59161
| September 5th, 2006 at 10:01am Wow.
That gave me goosebumps.
Its a powerful poem.
<3 |
WiskersH
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 60 | September 5th, 2006 at 10:08am Wow, that was really amazing. Not many people can write as talented as you. Absolutley amazing.  |
radioactive
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 338
| September 5th, 2006 at 10:16am that was powerful dude.... |
XxDemolition LoversxX
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 587 | September 5th, 2006 at 03:13pm That was awesome, almost reduced me to tears. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| September 5th, 2006 at 04:28pm It's good if you wanted to capture a teenager's thought, which is most likely.
However, you didn't use the repetition that well so it became dull. And you made very little sense in some places where you wanted to rhyme desperately.
I think you can do a lot better.  |
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
| September 7th, 2006 at 12:39am sad |
Squishy Cool
Idiot
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 614 | September 7th, 2006 at 12:45am Aww.
That's really amazing, you're a great writer.
It really captures the emotions of a heartbroken, teen girl.
I really, really love this. =] |
