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| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| °MorbidRose° Jackass  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 1723  | Ohmigosh. XD FINALLY something new. I just wrote this like five minutes ago, and I'm glad to say my dry-spell has passed... Hopefully. :] Just tell me what you think!  This This is my life An open book for the world to see With burnt edges and crooked lines Paper cut-out hearts with papier-mâché stars Crushed beneath the fist of fury With a blood-red ribbon to emphasize Forgiveness or lack thereof This is my heart Beating softly with the tests of time A smooth rhythm dripping with dread Crystalline shards of broken hearts The tattered wings of butterflies Strewn across the darkness of a bitter end A hatred looming in the thick walls of the mind For remembrance, though I’d rather forget This is my death A metaphorical emptiness of the mind A blank slate on which to write your happily-ever-afters As you ride off into the sunset Feathers fall from the heavens As angels toppled over from the force of my words Whispered kisses of death live on through the night Edit: Okay, so if you noticed that I mentioned me entering a poetry contest when I posted The Music Box, then you'd know, well, I want to enter it. I decided I want to enter this one, but the problem is that the poem must be 21 lines long, but this one is 22 lines long. I need to fix it in some way, just a version for the contest. So I need some ideas. I thought maybe combining two lines in the last sentence to be read like this: As you ride off into the sunset feathers fall from the heavens Doing that will make it 21 lines, which works for the contest. Any suggestions, or is this good? THANKS! |
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921  | Wow. Amazing flow, vivid words. I think I liked the first stanza best; it was just extremely beautiful. Haha, you better be glad the dry-spell has passed, because I expect some more of this stuff out of you, missy.  |
| °MorbidRose° Jackass Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 1723 | Electrocore Panda.:Oi, thank you! Ha ha, I hope that I get some more poems done as soon as I can! :] |
| Inari King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538 | |
| warning. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 3663 | |
| °MorbidRose° Jackass Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 1723 | Inari:Thanks uber. When a poet that writes poems I find too amazing for words says stuff like that, I feel accomplished as a writer. And thanks, Soph. |
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