GreenDayHolic
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6 | October 9th, 2006 at 02:39am I need to know
If you miss me too
Cuz all I see is you
You`re in my mind
My dreams and heart
You`re all I want
You`re all I got
I`m dreaming about you all the time
And to be honest i don`t know why
You appear at night
And disappear at day
Oh please don`t go
Please just obey
Everything seemed to go right
But I guess it wasn`t fine
Only in dreams we were in love
And after we were pretending not to know
......please tell me what you think?..... |
GreenDayHolic
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6 | October 16th, 2006 at 12:58am please tell me what you think about this one too....be harsh that`s what i need from you...cuz i need to improve my song writing |
Milk
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3741
  | October 16th, 2006 at 01:32am Eh, It's too uhm... simple, not meaning to be rude, but you should expand your vocabulary. Making people reach for the dictionary is always part of a good song or poem. Keep it up, it wasn't bad. |
