Roadside Conflagration

Now, you guys all know I hate rhyming. But the end of this month is a year since I started writing seriously, so I took my first poem and redrafted it into my current style. The original poem was 'Car Crash Television'... which I won second place with in the GSB poetry competition last year. So this is like an anniversary, of sorts.


What happens to angels at velocity,
and when crimson glass flows like calligraphy?
Her frostbitten lungs screamed like cyanide,
and drowned her bitter, sparkling cries
to sleepy whispers and declarations;
welcome to the roadside conflagration.
It was a haunting car crash nativity scene,
with an Italian sweetheart aged nineteen,
and her lyrical lover dressed all in leather.
She just couldn't cope without him beside her -
she would bleed cancerous tears from her very heart,
and wouldn't see the new year should they tear apart.

They were a storybook romance, perfect and true,
cursed to fade away beneath the waxing moon

as victims of tragic, motorway disaster.
Scars like these take more than sticking plasters...
Snowflakes met with the asphalt and turned to ice,
it was Russian roulette but with circular dice.
No sounds of sleigh bells, just her screaming pains,
as cyanosis ripped at his delicate veins.
Now Jack Frost paints patterns on weakened wrists,
and binds them together with a get well kiss.
If she should awake before the sunrise calls,
he'll wish her 'Happy Christmas, one and all;
if you curl up tight you'll be together soon,
when the sun has risen over the sleepy moon…’

Warm embrace will ignite them like fairy lights,
once they've made it through the freezing, arctic night...

Wow, that was a really interesting read. It's nice to see old poetry revamped; I really liked it.

I love it to bits! I think you rhymed really well. You didn’t loose the flow or the theme. Also I really like that you didn’t force the rhymes since you didn’t rhyme perfectly or just put in a word there just for the sake of the rhyming scheme. Plus you didn’t rhyme with predictable, overused words. The metaphors and wording in the poem are great. It’s just brilliant over all. ^_^

Thank you. I was a little apprehensive about posting this.

You're most welcome. How come? It's marvelous ^^

Well, seeing as I bitch so much about rhyming I thought other people would be the same.

Well, there is rhyming and there is rhyming you know. I like rhyming poems when they are written properly. I have quite a few poems that rhymes and you guys loved all off them It’s natural to bitch about rhyming when it’s poorly done. I do that too. A lot. It doesn’t mean that you yourself can’t write rhyming poems, it just means that you wanna help other improve ^_^

I mean you don’t start writing poetry that rhymes, that starting at the wrong end. Free verse gives poets the freedom to develop and then they can use rhyming (which is far more challenging and advanced).

That was so good! One of the best poems I've ever read. Maybe THE best! I love how you used the adjectives and similies so well.. great job!