Never_4get_Chickenman
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 17 | October 29th, 2006 at 12:26pm this is my first poem...type...thing..soo..uh...yeah here
Stay and follow
paths so hollow
filled in black and white
hard to swallow
excess sorrow
moments of our life
gone by so fast
present turned past
dip the pointed knife
to the sea of black and white
hand me down the vurtures
from deep within those empty rooms
sealed tightly closed
like secrets no one knows
when your end is the new beginning
life just seems so very slimming
Wander all alone
somewhere far from home
and walk with me just one last time
talk with me recite the lines
from somewhere we used to go
not far up the road
and yet it seems so far away
come back so i can hear you say
everythings allright
it's all just black and white
yeah...kinda depressing now that i read it....lol |
JOOLS
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 11676
  | October 29th, 2006 at 12:53pm ummm ... it's kinda hard to find the flow sometimes, but other than that, good first one! I like it.
-Julie |
beans
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 222 | October 29th, 2006 at 01:33pm bloody brill....thats a fab poem. flipping heck im crap at them. |
Never_4get_Chickenman
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 17 | October 29th, 2006 at 01:40pm : ) thanks i was pretty damn sure everyone would be like... jesus that sucks please dont write again...PLEASE!! for the sake of the children!
lol but you didnt and im happy about it |
