Tomorow Comes A Day Too Soon

I found this in an old journal I had...I dunno when I wrote it.
Critisism is appreciated(sp?).
Oh, and I think the title is actually the title to a Flogging Molly song..but I'm not sure o_o
***********
I've heard tales of God's master plan
We were dead from the start of where it began
And it makes me wonder what life really is
Sun-crossed dreams to battle with His

Hand-shakes laced with forlorn regret
'Ideals' died when lovers first met
And Icons sat rotting, but still held your hand
I'm guessing this is the way it was planned

So hold them tight untill they're gone
It happens quick, it won't take long
Vanished in a ray of light
Let's hope that they're at peace tonight

Hopes last reflection upon the moon
And tomorow comes a day too soon
So tell me that you don't fear death
And close the curtain with one last breath

So hold them tight untill they're gone
It happens quick, it won't take long
Vanished in a ray of light
Let's hope that they're at peace tonight

I love it.
Great flow, and the rhyme scheme is perfect.
Even I can't write well-flowing, not-forced-sounding, rhyming poems anymore. XD
[[well, i haven't tried lately.]]

Love it.

Edit: I reread it, and I noticed the flow is off if read aloud. Mainly in the first stanza.

Brilliant poem i love it lol rhyming rocks

I love it. Truly.

°MorbidRose°:

I love it.
Great flow, and the rhyme scheme is perfect.
Even I can't write well-flowing, not-forced-sounding, rhyming poems anymore. XD
[[well, i haven't tried lately.]]

Love it.

Edit: I reread it, and I noticed the flow is off if read aloud. Mainly in the first stanza.

Do you know what line in particular? or is it the whole stanza? I'll see if I can adjust it.

And thanks for the comments.

i e n v y you