Matt Smith
Admin
Age: 33
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Posts: 31134
  | November 3rd, 2006 at 04:48pm We held hands on the last night on earth,
Armageddon flares lit the horizon
Still, the sun was a stagnant pool of light
Shimmering, and a toxic glow
Emitted, dimly now, from the rim of the skyline
Now, cinders were falling like raindrops,
Fragile flakes of ash cascaded lightly,
And we walked in a snowstorm of debris,
The bitter scent of burning was upon us,
Under a fading halo of light, we staggered
Through the desolate ruins of a city,
Then out onto a barren hillside,
Our world was bathed blood red,
A bleak landscape painted crimson before us.
Who knew, the end of the world could be so beautiful?
The flesh of the earth is aching now,
And its clogged pores oozed bitterly
Darkness descended, and the sun made its last
swansong. Silence, and we knew,
There would be no morning. |
beans
Geek
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Posts: 222 | November 3rd, 2006 at 05:25pm cool poem. bit depressing but thats what people like  well i do anyway |
aMeRiKiNg
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1 | November 3rd, 2006 at 05:39pm pretty.
*Cheers* |
Miley Cyrus
Basket Case
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 15185
| November 3rd, 2006 at 08:09pm Through the desolate ruins of a city,
Then out onto a barren hillside,
Our world was bathed blood red,
A bleak landscape painted crimson before us.
Who knew, the end of the world could be so beautiful?
I especially liked that bit, although all of it was amazing. |
ladyramone
Post Whore
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Gender: Female
Posts: 21701 | November 3rd, 2006 at 08:11pm wtf meg, you're so freakishly talented.
very well done. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | November 4th, 2006 at 05:53am Amazing. I absolutely loved every word.
'The flesh of the earth is aching now,
And its clogged pores oozed bitterly'
Those lines = pwnage  |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
| November 4th, 2006 at 12:09pm Wow, that was quite awesome.
Every word you chose had a purpose and the description was absolutely wonderful. I especially like the idea of it being an oil painting. |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| November 4th, 2006 at 12:55pm I agree with my two friends above here! Marvellous imagery. One thing that I thought about though is that you used “now” twice and so closely (in the end of the first stanza and the beginning of the second). I don’t think you need the second “now” but that’s just my opinion. Of course, if you take that away you would probably have to make some miner adjustments on those lines there. Oh, well…brilliant poem anyway  |
Matt Smith
Admin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 31134
| November 4th, 2006 at 08:11pm Thanks for the feedback, everybody :] |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | November 4th, 2006 at 08:45pm i really like the title to this poem |
GD Addicts Anonymous
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5896 | November 4th, 2006 at 08:56pm Wow, I have to agree with the posts above me, this poem's really awesome. The imagery and wording were both really good. Great job! |
Michake
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 295 | November 4th, 2006 at 10:47pm good job!!! as ive said liek 3 times now, i love it! |
