the crucible.
Idiot
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 621 | October 19th, 2006 at 05:01pm I wrote this just now. It is officially shit.
I am not here.
I am not listening to you.
I am not hearing your taunts.
Your words, they mean nothing.
Nothing at all.
You cannot hurt me.
There are no tears in my eyes
And your shouts do not reach me.
I will not bow down to your level.
A hand grabs my arm.
You say something
But I'm trying so hard not to listen.
A crowd forms
To watch the idiot girl who seems not to hear.
A path is made
As I push my way through.
I need to breathe.
I need to breathe.
Take me away.
Take me away from this place.
These tears are not mine.
They are not falling from my cheeks onto the ground.
For I am not here.
I am not here.
19/10/06 |
the crucible.
Idiot
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 621 | November 2nd, 2006 at 10:50pm That bad, huh? |
MyChemicalFreak
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 30 | November 3rd, 2006 at 08:12pm I like it. <3 |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | November 4th, 2006 at 05:56am It's okay, but it doesn't have anything special that really stands out. If you slipped in a metaphor or two, it could be better. But other than that, it's got loads of potential. |
the crucible.
Idiot
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 621 | November 6th, 2006 at 01:22pm Thanks guys <3. I might rewrite when I have the time, but I'm sorta overloaded w/ homework at the mo.
Thanks Ginger Nuts, I appreciate any constructive criticism I can get  . |
Insurgentes
Post Whore
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 23688
 | November 6th, 2006 at 01:23pm I dunno about everyone else, but I really like it. It stands out to me, and I can really relate to it. |
the crucible.
Idiot
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 621 | November 6th, 2006 at 01:34pm thanks Serena! |
