The Insomniac.

Don't ask, don't tell.

She's an insomniac. She fakes that
she's awoke from a
drenched deep sleep. She has
perfected the
drowsy stare. She knows how to
make her hair all askew
before she watches the sullen

Sun raise it's fiery head.
She watches the stupid star
warm the dirt beneath the
sudden grey concrete.

She pities that poor star.

Every day, he sweeps
his warm, white sheet across
this earth. He must be insane.

Poor thing.

Every dawn
starts the futile process
of keeping us alive.

The insomniac hates this time.
The flash of blood in the sky,
the clouds a sort of
fluffy bandage to the scars
of human sleep.

She watches the flurry of activity
from her bay window. She softly
fingers the lush black velvet
of the cushion she sits upon.

She feels the
burning heat from the
twinkling little sequins. It
is the remains of her last true
sleep.

Her face is a pallid
moon, forever grating at
the window. A faint, pale glow
highlights her during the dark hours.

She watches bitterly as the
mortals sleep and she cannot even
try.

That so sad and so beautiful and I love it thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. I can't choose a favourite line, because everything is part of 'one' and can't be split.

Awesome, my friend! The flow is a little rough but that’s (for once) good, because of the structure. Which I love by the way . It’s great that it’s a bit irregular and that some lines breaks away like that. It’s also great how you made the stanzas so different and still kept the pulse of the poem intact.

I love the imagery and wording to bits. Very creative and poetic. It really creates and atmosphere.

But this wording/ structure of the sentences I don’t get :
The insomniac that fakes
she's awoke from a
drenched deep sleep.

Are you missing a comma after “fakes” or? It’s just not grammatically understandable (at least not to me ).

What's in a name?:

Awesome, my friend! The flow is a little rough but that’s (for once) good, because of the structure. Which I love by the way . It’s great that it’s a bit irregular and that some lines breaks away like that. It’s also great how you made the stanzas so different and still kept the pulse of the poem intact.

I love the imagery and wording to bits. Very creative and poetic. It really creates and atmosphere.

But this wording/ structure of the sentences I don’t get :
The insomniac that fakes
she's awoke from a
drenched deep sleep.

Are you missing a comma after “fakes” or? It’s just not grammatically understandable (at least not to me ).

Dammit, me and my 'grammer skilzz'. . It's because I had orginally started the poem as 'The Hypocrite', not the insomniac and I forgot to change the wording lo. Changing now.

So it wasn’t just be being stupid. Hey, it’s no big deal. I just thought that it would be a shame if such a great poem has an error like that.

Edit: ahhh! Now it makes sense! Now I get it! Wow, that’s cool.