It's A Common Misconception.

AuthorMessage
keasbey
King For A Couple Of Days
keasbey
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3660
November 4th, 2006 at 04:31am
Why won't they leave me alone?
Migranes from the telephone.
Push away;That's what I'll do.
I don't want to be with you.
Everything is nausiating.
Everyone is so frustrating.

I'm chewing through my self esteem.
I'm spitting out my sanity.
Anxiety is cutting close.
On craziness; I'm overdosed.
What should I do with myself?
My gapping life, My slipping health.

Duties are out of control.
Self destruction on a roll.
You aren't making any sense.
Overwhelmed, my head's quite dense.
You still think it's just a phase.
I'll go on; outgrow my daze.

Is this the picture that you dreamed?
Of outraged lives and splitted seams?
Dig a deeper and you'll find.
The lives of those all left behind.
Yes it's real, and yes it's sad.
Not for show; some screwed up fad.

It's just this, my severed connection.
Listen close, it's a common misconception.


I kind of went overboard with the semi-colins.
They're not placed right either.
This is about how I used to kind of joke about death and dying and then my gramma died and so it kind of explains what I'm going through, but metaphorically kind of I guess...
+Hybrid_Theory+
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
+Hybrid_Theory+
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 78
November 4th, 2006 at 05:33am
it's good though, sad, but good.
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
November 4th, 2006 at 06:18am
They'd make better song lyrics than poetry, but that doesn't mean they're not good. I particularly liked the second verse. Very Happy
beans
Geek
beans
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 222
November 4th, 2006 at 08:28am
Ginger Nuts:
They'd make better song lyrics than poetry, but that doesn't mean they're not good. I particularly liked the second verse. Very Happy
hell yea i agree im gonna steal em for lyrics ...nah only jk im no really dont worry, i like it
keasbey
King For A Couple Of Days
keasbey
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3660
November 4th, 2006 at 11:08am
Thanks. tehe
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 4th, 2006 at 12:43pm
This is a good example of great rhyming. You used the AABB rhyming scheme and still wrote and awesome poem that flows terrifically well. Creds to you! It takes a lot of talent and you obviously got a bunch of it Very Happy. If I’m going to be picky (which I always am) two of the rhymes are a tiny bit forced/blunt. “Sense” and “dense” as well as “sad” and “fad”. In the first case it’s mainly the context that makes it forced.

Anyway, I love the second stanza. Brilliant metaphors! You really are quite good with imagery overall. Good choice of words as well and great wording.
Mike Dirnt.
King For A Couple Of Days
Mike Dirnt.
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2712

Mibba
November 4th, 2006 at 12:45pm
Wow, I thought that was really good

*claps*

Very Happy
Cidlet
Jackass
Cidlet
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1712

Mibba
November 7th, 2006 at 03:39pm
You writing is beautiful, Haley.

I like rymie poems.. tehe
keasbey
King For A Couple Of Days
keasbey
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3660
November 7th, 2006 at 03:40pm
What's in a name?:
This is a good example of great rhyming. You used the AABB rhyming scheme and still wrote and awesome poem that flows terrifically well. Creds to you! It takes a lot of talent and you obviously got a bunch of it Very Happy. If I’m going to be picky (which I always am) two of the rhymes are a tiny bit forced/blunt. “Sense” and “dense” as well as “sad” and “fad”. In the first case it’s mainly the context that makes it forced.

Anyway, I love the second stanza. Brilliant metaphors! You really are quite good with imagery overall. Good choice of words as well and great wording.
Yeah, they were kind of forced. Alot of times I just write things like that as kind of fillers and replace them later.
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
love.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844
November 7th, 2006 at 04:17pm
i really like it!!!
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Inari
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538
November 7th, 2006 at 04:33pm
I really liked that. It was really interesting and fun to read.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 7th, 2006 at 05:39pm
Skankenstein.:
What's in a name?:
This is a good example of great rhyming. You used the AABB rhyming scheme and still wrote and awesome poem that flows terrifically well. Creds to you! It takes a lot of talent and you obviously got a bunch of it Very Happy. If I’m going to be picky (which I always am) two of the rhymes are a tiny bit forced/blunt. “Sense” and “dense” as well as “sad” and “fad”. In the first case it’s mainly the context that makes it forced.

Anyway, I love the second stanza. Brilliant metaphors! You really are quite good with imagery overall. Good choice of words as well and great wording.
Yeah, they were kind of forced. Alot of times I just write things like that as kind of fillers and replace them later.

Ok, I see. I’ve done that too once or twice.
Maybe you should wait with posting a poem until you’ve replaced those fillers though? Smile
keasbey
King For A Couple Of Days
keasbey
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3660
November 13th, 2006 at 02:06pm
What's in a name?:
Skankenstein.:
What's in a name?:
This is a good example of great rhyming. You used the AABB rhyming scheme and still wrote and awesome poem that flows terrifically well. Creds to you! It takes a lot of talent and you obviously got a bunch of it Very Happy. If I’m going to be picky (which I always am) two of the rhymes are a tiny bit forced/blunt. “Sense” and “dense” as well as “sad” and “fad”. In the first case it’s mainly the context that makes it forced.

Anyway, I love the second stanza. Brilliant metaphors! You really are quite good with imagery overall. Good choice of words as well and great wording.
Yeah, they were kind of forced. Alot of times I just write things like that as kind of fillers and replace them later.

Ok, I see. I’ve done that too once or twice.
Maybe you should wait with posting a poem until you’ve replaced those fillers though? Smile
Probably....
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