The Man Of Constant Sorrow

He sat in the shadows as if the gentle rays of sun were to eat his flesh if he crossed that window pane.
Alone he sat contimplating the inevitable cruelties of the world, thoughts that only a man of his nature would allows himself to think.
For moments he could not speak and for longer he could not see, but it was fact that his angels lay dead on the tainted wood floor.
Torn and beaten were his loves.
Silent and beautiful they lay.
Everlasting sleep had washed over them and forever time was still inside those four walls.
A tall tale began to weave in his head.
A tale of revenge and constant sorrow.
Strangers with no faces were to blame for this surreal pain and terrible macabre.
The sun set, his sanity floated away and the journey began.
.........
This is supposed to be an introduction to a story I wanna write BUT people are telling me its to "poem-ish" Comment PLEASE because I am entering into Writing on Wednesday and you its the whole thing with competing against other schools so yeah. Thank you! Dont be afraid to be harsh. Yes I did take the name from a song XD

Alone he sat contimplating the inevitable curelties of the world, thoughts only a man of his nature would allow himself to think.
For moments he could not speak and for longer he could not see, but it was fact that his angels lay dead on the tainted wood floor

Really liked that bit, especially the part about the angels. It is very poem-y, but some great books start in a poem, quote or lyrical verse.
I quite liked the concept, and there is no doubt you are talented. HOWEVER, there is something that I didn't like, but it won't present itself to me...perhaps the ending line? I think that's it, I think it would be better to use something more subtle then his sanity floated away and the journey began but that's just me.

First of all thank you for liking it
And yes I agree on the ending part :/ It was supposed to be an introduction so I wanted to keep it open and interesting [like my teachers say XD] and thats why I went with it. I was thinking maybe it could be a story but in a poem kind of tone. It'd be a very short thats for sure XD

aw, someone else has to have a opinion or two about it :/