Misanthropist
Post Whore
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279 | November 13th, 2006 at 10:59pm Er, I haven't written anything in a while and this is one I liked...so, I'd appreciate some feedback negative and positive. If you have a critique, please put specifics in it and don't just go 'it sucked' because, then, how do i get better?
Anyway.
This madness could be compared to color blindess,
the bright lights infecting my sights.
I used to know my world,
what happened?
Everything is touchable,
my fingers run clumsily along the grooves and ridges of the past.
Life's pockets were too crowded for me,
so I'm left to carry the baggage, confused.
Looking into the distance,
I can see a far off place.
The straps weighing down my shoulders seem to lighten,
ever so slightly.
Avoident, they say.
Clairvoyant, i counter.
But nothing can make sense anymore, can it?
The ribbons will intertwine until I can get a steadfast grip on the snakelike rope.
In the mean time,
I'm stuck on tiptoes trying to glimpse the view everyone keeps telling me is amazing.
The title has nothing to do with the actual poem, as you can see. |
Arcane-Inamorata
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3278
 | November 13th, 2006 at 11:50pm a tiny bit cliche at times, but otherwise really good.
P.S. Yay canada |
Misanthropist
Post Whore
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279 | November 14th, 2006 at 07:54pm Mike_is_sexy_86:a tiny bit cliche at times, but otherwise really good.
P.S. Yay canada
 methinks my writing has become a bit cliche all around. But thanks 
 I hate Canada. Or, maybe just where I am. |
