Truthfully Dishonest (my last poem)
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| Milk King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3741   | This is my last poem here on GSB. It isn't good. It's just... crap. Justify for yourselves. Here you go... Truthfully Dishonest Your vengeance, clarified by your blood soaked rag Your mind overwhelmed with the punishments you give Who will you torture next? The thrashing of innocence The brutality of the truth. We are all dishonest Welcoming arms hold no lies, but behind the mask freedom cries Waking at night, only to put others to sleep, the eternal sleep And your woes aren't forgiven, and your mind isn't free Your cruelty wasn't enough to satisfy, you laugh behind your own lies And in the distance, there is rehabilitation Still you force your way through, barbarity and sadism are to describe The rack of your pain, hung through innocent victims Your mind was broken, and you continue to live behind the shadowed figure Of your demise Mind of your own, choose for yourself... but can you pick your actions? Who is inflicted, who is spared? Mercy cries mean nothing to the beast The authority, isn't a proper figure, they can not see. You smile politely, while your mind is so intricate Two words can describe. Your mass murders, you can't realize You are what they aren't afraid to speak You are Truthfully Dishonest. |
| Misanthropist Post Whore  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 23279 | I liked it. There are bits here and there that could be tweaked, though. For example, the word 'demise' i think could be changed in the last stanza, just so you don't have two of thr lame same word too close together. In the second stanza I think a better word for 'lies' could be used as well. But overall, it was very interesting. |
| Milk King For A Couple Of Days Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3741 | Thanks, I don't really write like this. I'm usually a more fixed rhyme scheme person. |
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