Miss Misfit
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 265 | November 16th, 2006 at 04:35pm Look in my eyes and tell me this wasnt I lie
Tell me
Tell me
Somthing I dont know
Tell me
Tell me
Somthing that will get us from to start to end
And we would never have to do it all over again
I dont blame you now
As much as Id like too
We've never had anything to prove
Your to Quiet
tell me
tell me
Somthing I dont know
Tell me
Tell me
Where I went wrong
Tell me
Tell me
The Truth for once
Becuase your lies
Arent doing the trick
Youve even got yourself convinced.
Im just mocking you...
Telll me
What is
and
why you wont
tell me
if we can fix things
tell me if it was my fault
Im just mocking you |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | November 16th, 2006 at 05:13pm i love it <3 |
Miss Misfit
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 265 | November 16th, 2006 at 05:33pm dance to this beatxx:i love it <3
thankya |
Sunsh!ne.
Geek
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 128 | November 16th, 2006 at 05:34pm luv it |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
 | November 18th, 2006 at 09:06am I don’t like it.
Some tips:
1.Try not to be so straight to the point. You can use metaphors, grand words (be careful with that though) or be vague (but make sure you get the message across). You should use descriptive words (adjectives, adverbs).
2. Do not be so repetitive. It gets real dull.
3. Try to write about something that other way of writing doesn’t give justice to. For example, what you wrote could have been some sort of letter or a diary entry. And if you still want to write about such things write them in a way so that it can only be a poem, nothing else.
4. You need to create a flow. For that you need:
5. It would help if you wrote in stanzas.
6. You really, really need to use punctuation and capital letters. A full stop, sentences over. New sentence, capital letter.
Yeah, so there just tips. You do whatever you like, but I advice you to at least take this into consideration. Good luck! |
Rhiannon.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2999
| November 18th, 2006 at 09:23am What's in a name?:I don’t like it.
Some tips:
1.Try not to be so straight to the point. You can use metaphors, grand words (be careful with that though) or be vague (but make sure you get the message across). You should use descriptive words (adjectives, adverbs).
2. Do not be so repetitive. It gets real dull.
3. Try to write about something that other way of writing doesn’t give justice to. For example, what you wrote could have been some sort of letter or a diary entry. And if you still want to write about such things write them in a way so that it can only be a poem, nothing else.
4. You need to create a flow. For that you need:
5. It would help if you wrote in stanzas.
6. You really, really need to use punctuation and capital letters. A full stop, sentences over. New sentence, capital letter.
Yeah, so there just tips. You do whatever you like, but I advice you to at least take this into consideration. Good luck! do you say taht to everyone?
anyways, I thought it was really good! |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| November 18th, 2006 at 09:46am Basically to everyone who needs to hear it, yes. I don’t say exactly the same things. I read the poem and give some tips. Sometimes the tips are the same for two persons. But that’s because they’re doing the same “errors”. |
Emily-Cool
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 6657 | November 18th, 2006 at 10:02am I thought it was good :] |
