bratbassist
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 510 | November 18th, 2006 at 09:10am Things have gone all wrong lately,
Things have changed, cant you see?
The music that you listen to,
Is very slowly changing you.
You assume because your older than me,
You wiser, smarter, cooler than me,
Well, you sadly mistaken mate,
Don’t say sorry now, its too late.
Things were good for a little while,
You’d make me laugh and crack a smile,
And then all the good times changed,
And so did you,
You make me feel so very blue.
The last rhyme is a little forced, I don’t know how to end it.
As usual, leave you constructive criticism. |
Rhiannon.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2999
 | November 18th, 2006 at 09:19am I thought alot of the ryhmes were forced, and it didn't have too much flow to it. |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | November 19th, 2006 at 05:54pm ^^^i agree it doesnt have much flow. but its still pretty good. |
