Fluid Artificial

I'm kind of hesitant about this one, but here goes.

Fluid Artificial

Hook in my throat,
Pull me safely
to Shore.
Just don’t get sand in my eyes.

Blind,
you’ve made me.
Patch up
my eyes.

The IV drips in place of
paranoid
medicine.
Replace my blood with
a fluid artificial.

Water is a lifeline,
But you’ve shackled my lips.

I absolutely love, and I have no idea why I didn't notice that you'd posted something sooner. I loved how disjointed it all felt - writing fluid artificial instead of artificial fluid was amazing.

I don't know what else to say.

i'm going to have to say

I LOVE THIS

i love how easily readable this is

it makes you want to read it, just by how... simple (i guess this is the right word) it is

braaaaaaavo

Wheeeee thank you!

To Ellen: I originally had this awful blunt line in place of that, and then I changed it to the line it is now but with 'an artificial fluid'. I thought it sounded awful so I fixed the order. So I'm glad to know that it worked.

To Clark: Thank you so much. I think what it was is that I was worrying it was too simple. Silly me. xD