davey jones.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 7018
  | December 1st, 2006 at 06:46pm Meh. Not that good.
I'll be seeing you
In my mind
Thoughts of what I can't have
Wish I was blind
You mean so much to me
Wish I'd never met you
So exquisite and pristine
Oh, I'm trying to forget you
You'll never see me
When I am locked up, cut and burned
When I am taught a lesson
I should never learn
This is just another painful process
That comes and goes with the season
I used to miss you so much
Never found a reason |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | December 2nd, 2006 at 03:53pm I thought the first stanza was a little too choppy and forced, but the rest was beautiful. The rhyming of the last stanza was awesome, but not so good in stanza two. It just sounds messy to rhyme a word with itself, I think.
It's awesome, but still has potential to be even better. |
