*gd_punk*
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 28 | December 15th, 2006 at 07:20pm Part 1: Why?
You never look at me,
never in the eye.
Why?
What do i have to do I ask?
where a mask?
would that get your attention?
or will it drive you away?
answer me, answer me.
you give me a sensation,
but you make me uncomfontable.
everyone loves you.
what makes you so loveable?
I've seen you take off your disguise,
mean, nasty, but your just one guy.
your dangerous and you know it.
you don't care about anyone else,
but yourslef.
Part 2: Hiding
Confront me.
No pushing or shoving please.
I care about you,
more then anyone else.
but i can't be seen with you.
not in public,
but in private.
I wished you loved me too.
i'm invisible, you ignore me.
your so cruel and mean,
and my friends hide me,
but wait.
I don't have any friends.
Part 3: Answers make me sadder and sadder
write your answer,
on a sheet of paper.
it's just a yes or no question.
Do you love me or not?
If not i will learn my lesson.
you wrote:
Every night i see you cryin'
every noght i see you i fell like dyin'
i do care about you, but i don't like you,
i don't love you.
---------------------------------------------------------
it's not the best, but, yah. |
DudeO
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2543
 | December 16th, 2006 at 01:06am Wow. That was deep. And actually, better then some poems on here. Some of it could have been written better, but I love it. I actually really like it. It was easy to get into. It caught my attention.
Good job!
One suggestion- punctuation is good.
love it though |
*gd_punk*
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 28 | December 16th, 2006 at 04:20pm wow, thanks. i'm happy you like it. |
