It's so astronomical the stars won't shed their light.

AuthorMessage
marti lives on.
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
marti lives on.
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 39
December 19th, 2006 at 03:01pm
Words seem transparent when you're going through outer space;
Everything breaks up in this highly unstable atmosphere.
It's so tempting to join-- for there's a prize at the end of this race.
Sometimes I'd just love to be an astronaut, but I wouldn't dare.

I was always told I couldn't grow wings; no, that wouldn't work.
I was never much good in gym class, so just forget the sports.
I can't hold an argument more than a day, so there goes the courts.
And here it goes, my last chance, I wish upon a star's romance.

I want to defy gravity and live life for my self,
This is all that's left, I failed at everything else.
I want to prove my point; I can make it up here.
This is all I have, this place with thin air.
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
December 19th, 2006 at 03:06pm
I love this. It's poetic in simple words, which is sometimes the hardest way to write.

'Everything breaks up in this highly unstable atmosphere'.

I think you could've used something like fragile, or a word to that effect, just to give the line real emotion and make it more than just a statement.
marti lives on.
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
marti lives on.
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 39
December 19th, 2006 at 03:07pm
That thought hadn't really occured to me at the time....

I'll think about changing it. =)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this & comment. <3
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