The Doctor Falling In Love With The Board
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8786
 | December 30th, 2006 at 10:35am Don't ask, don't tell
I watch the television screen, like a
morbid child I wait in wonder at the
justice to be broadcast.
He's a tyrant, a monster.
He deserves to feel the
rough rope around his neck.
I remember, I recall.
I was seven. An axe, an axe murderess.
A shiny needle, a line of mercurial silver and
they let her life go like a flock of birds
into the setting sky.
I cried, I cried for her death but not
whom she had murdered. I was scolded.
I felt the course slap across the face and
the stinging tears that followed.
The philosophy of this phosphorous triumph
of our "brave boys". Not again, not again.
They portray a nursery rhyme punishment.
"Hang from the gallows, sweet dictator.
Let death be your final comfort, damned traitor."
The children sing like the drumming of the soldiers,
each bitterly in tune.
The drop of his body against the backdrop of
civil war. What an anthem!
But too late I realise, too soon I recognise
that this television is a mirror.
Each one to each of us. We hang him under the
shabby guise of freedom, when we are killing our
own guilt. He is just another Jesus.
Only, not walking on water,
but blood. He is no saint.
There is no such thing. |
Generation Terrorist Geek
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 250 | December 30th, 2006 at 10:37am It's good. I like it  |
Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161 | December 30th, 2006 at 11:45am I love who you're able to almost tell a story all through your poetry... and not shy away from your intentions, and keep in virtually flawless.
Again, I am lost for words. A fitting tirade to remember a man who scorned his country.
I think my particular favourite images had to be;
'nursery rhyme punishment'.
'He is just another Jesus'.
'Hang from the gallows, sweet dictator.
Let death be your final comfort, damned traitor'.
I could go on, but I'd basically quote the entire poem in a different order to which it was written.  |
[Your Best Mistake] Idiot
![[Your Best Mistake]](/data/board-avatars/empty.gif) Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 551 | December 30th, 2006 at 11:47am I love it. Truly so. |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| December 31st, 2006 at 04:29pm You know I love your poetry. This is no exception.
I really love the way you write, you’re phrasing, word choice similes and metaphors.
Personally I would prefer if you didn’t have the exclamation mark at the end. I think it would look better if you put that line in italics instead. I don’t know why, perhaps because it looks tidier or because that sentence doesn’t feel like an exclamation. So yeah, you can just go ahead and ignore me if you like  [/rant] |
Rockaway Beach Jackass
 Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1279 | January 1st, 2007 at 09:44am I absolutely loved it.
The flow was brilliant, and like What's in a name? said, your word choice and phrasing was brilliant.
I also like your topic, though i think everyone who reads your poem will perceive it in a different way, which i think is a good thing for a poet. |
The Doctor Falling In Love With The Board
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8786
 | January 1st, 2007 at 04:05pm Why thank you all. |
Misanthropist Post Whore
 Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 23279 | January 1st, 2007 at 05:11pm I guess I'm joing everyone with my opinion, because it's a another positive one. I read your poem twice, once out loud and I have to say I loved it. It was like a story, but really brought across images without being too wordy or trying too hard.
I think I'm going to save it (don't worry, not to steal or anything!) |