Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
 | January 2nd, 2007 at 05:29pm In so many ways I miss you.
Mostly, it's the way that you're right there in front of me,
And I know that I already have you, but yet I don't.
Is that even possible?
Who knows?
For me, it's entirely possible.
For that's what is happening between you and me.
You asked me.
I thought it was true.
Turns out it was just on impulse.
I miss what we had that night.
How you really wanted me.
How you knew I wanted you.
How we needed each other.
How we kissed with such a burning desire.
How we touched as if we'd never feel again.
How our breathing mingled together like snakes coiled at the neck.
How our eyes connected shyly as we explored each other further.
You left me wanting you so badly after that.
You left me wanting that again.
You left me wanting you.
Though we're still one, there's nothing left of that anymore.
I wish I could take back that night.
That moment I said yes.
That moment our lips connected.
The moment my tounge touched yours.
The moment we became each other.
The moment I fell in love with you.
I want to take it back.
But it's too hard.
:::::
Mmm hmm...
Based on actual events...
:/
Watchoo think? |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
| January 4th, 2007 at 01:05pm O_o |
Misanthropist
Post Whore
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279 | January 5th, 2007 at 01:55am It was narrative, which can work, but I think it would even better if you separated it, instead of letting become one long stanza. I also think any poem can be tweaked here and there, and yours could really flourish if you used more descriptive words in contrast to the casual narrative. Good writing, though. |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
| January 5th, 2007 at 12:11pm Misanthropist:It was narrative, which can work, but I think it would even better if you separated it, instead of letting become one long stanza. I also think asny poem can be tweaked here and there, and yours could really flourish if you used more descriptive words in contrast to the casual narrative. Good writing, though. Thank you, very much. At least I have some critisism to work around. I'm trying to figure out how to use different words in meanings they're not related to, because it is entirely possible. I'm just trying to figure out what words. |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | January 7th, 2007 at 02:50pm wow.
i love this one.
its deep.
i LOVE it!!
good job! |
Too Much Eyeliner
Jackass
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 1297
 | January 12th, 2007 at 01:11am What kind of events, Katie? *curious* |
