Treat Others as They Deserve

Treat Others as They Deserve

Grains of salt corrode the inside of my skull,
eating away letter by letter of golden words.
One sentence building a rule that now floats
in droplets into the oblivion of my past.
Picked to pieces.

The monster of one of the deadly sins stirs,
lurking closer and closer to the surface.
Despise adorn the curving of my lips
when I catch your reflections upon my retina.

Fingertips creates invisible patterns in the air,
following an altered road that my mind makes up.
Your words aren’t valid in my domain
and from this realm you will not ever escape.

Imagined scars paint a lifestyle of new values,
now that I have ran out of cheeks to turn.
Vengeance in this vendetta is pointless
but you will get what you give in return now.

You see – this angel always had black feathers,
scorched by the hell flames in your words and actions.
Breaking away with different morals at heart
I’m going to hover only inches above you.
Picking you to pieces.

I like that, though it sounds like more of a self-debating philosophy. Like the person is saying"are you sure revenge is the right idea?", but at the same time they can't really ignore it.

"Vengeance in this vendetta is pointless
but you will get what you give in return now." I think those lines really give the main message of the poem. But I love the last verse and repetion of being picked to pieces.

It really seems to display like a personal policy. I think it does fit the topic very well.

Thank you . That could be a possible interpretation, yes.

*bows*

Yeah, that’s rather correct. I’m glad you think it does ^_^

Yoor wellcum.

I particularly liked 'You see – this angel always had black feathers', a lot of people could attempt to phrase that but fail, I loved how you managed to do so and not sound like you were speaking in prose. I thought the salt imagery was especially clever, I know there's a Greek philosopher who proposed something like humans being dust in the wind; I thought it could be connected to that, but salt is something much more corrosive.

And I liked what lyrical_mess said about revenge, I really loved the idea you were suggesting about how you can't forget how someone has wronged you, and even though you can try to forgive them, the error of their ways will always be hovering over their shoulders; in this case the black angel.

Awesome.

Wow. Amazing. And you claim to be jealous of me? Pfft.

The idea of the poem is absolutely wonderful, and you pulled it off so well.

I really loved even single opening stanza line. So amazing. Especially the 2nd one. The repetition of the V sounds in the 4th stanza was absolutely amazing as well. It really adds in to the overall tone of the poem (which most people can never seem to do very well).

Simply put: AMAZING.

Tabby Delany:

I particularly liked 'You see – this angel always had black feathers', a lot of people could attempt to phrase that but fail, I loved how you managed to do so and not sound like you were speaking in prose. I thought the salt imagery was especially clever, I know there's a Greek philosopher who proposed something like humans being dust in the wind; I thought it could be connected to that, but salt is something much more corrosive.

And I liked what lyrical_mess said about revenge, I really loved the idea you were suggesting about how you can't forget how someone has wronged you, and even though you can try to forgive them, the error of their ways will always be hovering over their shoulders; in this case the black angel.

Awesome.

Thanks. It means a lot to me when you say things like that. Yeah, it’s possible to make that conection.

Thank you. I’m so glad that you (all of you) understood what I wanted to say. It makes me feel like my poem succeeded (because it is a bit vague so I’m glad I still manage to get my point across) .

*Bows*

wait_what:

Wow. Amazing. And you claim to be jealous of me? Pfft.

The idea of the poem is absolutely wonderful, and you pulled it off so well.

I really loved even single opening stanza line. So amazing. Especially the 2nd one. The repetition of the V sounds in the 4th stanza was absolutely amazing as well. It really adds in to the overall tone of the poem (which most people can never seem to do very well).

Simply put: AMAZING.

Thank you! Well, can’t I be?

Aww You’re too kind.

I’m glad that you point that out so I know very concretely for the writing of future poems which parts that really works*. That’s what I wanted it to do and I’m so glad to know that it worked (because as you say, most people just seem to constantly ail when trying that.)



*Don’t get me wrong Tabby Delany and lyrical_mess you’re posts are very valuable too indeed, just as valuable of course, but in differnent ways ^_^