Moments

I walk a maze of moments,
but everywhere I turn to begins a new beginning.
but never finds a finish.

In the darkest corner,
at the highest height,
in the darkest hour of my darkest night.

A dark place where nothing is visible except my pale skin.
Even that is fading.
I am shrinking away out of through and memory,
becoming one with time.

I do not exist at all...
I am only darkness.

Dead is this planet,
and dead in spirit are those who dwell on it.
I go to a better Earth where magick still lingers.

Tell me what you think. Honestly.

It reminds me too much of Papa Roach’s song “Forever”. The poem is rather cliché and since (I think) it’s similar to “Forever” it becomes even more uncreative. Personally I think it’s too repetitive as well (in a way that isn’t working). Plus, there’s a few mistakes.

I walk a maze of moments,
but everywhere I turn to begin a new beginning.
But never find a finish.

In the darkest corner,
at the highest height,
in the darkest hour of my darkest night.

A dark place where nothing is visible except my pale skin.
Even that is fading.
I am shrinking away out of thought(?) and memory,
becoming one with time.

I do not exist at all...
I am only darkness.

Dead is this planet,
and dead in spirit are those who dwell on it.
I go to a better Earth where magic still lingers.
You messed up a bit I think. To always proofread is a good idea .

Keep writing though because it’s not hopeless. Because the poem do have a nice flow and it was good that you tried to use alliteration. You asked for honesty and that is what I've given you. You don't have to follow the tips I gave you, it's all up to you =]