Obsession Turned Insanity

Disease seeps through the uneven floor,
As despression and sorrow float through the broken windows.
Anger is mirrored upon the walls,
Where so many times before,
I have expressed my obsession with you.

Your name...
Your name is written upon these blood stained boards.
Etched in every corner,
In every crevasse,
In every fold of the wallpaper I could find.

You invade my mind,
My lungs..
My ears..
My heart.

I cannot escape you,
Though I so desperately wish I could.
You haunt me,
Like the many terrifying nightmares trapped within this room.

I'm going insane,
Trying to find a way out from under your captivating spell.
But there IS no way out!
You're everywhere,
And nowhere.

My thoughts swirl around in spirals unfit for the human being,
Causing utter confusion and chaos within the corners of my mind.
What is the secret?
You are the secret.
But how can you be the secret,
When you are the answer as well?

:::

Sorry if it's bad.. It was a rough poem. Something to get my mind going. I also got some inspiration from staring at the wall for 5 seconds. So that's maybe why it's not that good.

Good? Bad?

Constructive Critisism.

its not bad at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED IT
(oh by the way...heaven help us IS THE BEST SONG!! haha)

Thank you! =]

(yes.. yes it is XD)

it's not bad
especially if it's just a rough draft (everything of mine stays rough draft though lol)

it was pretty run of the mill though
you had stanzas separated by chunks of similar imagery/metaphors
but then again, your emotions couldn't have been run of the mill for you to write a whole damn poem about it, so I'd like to see more individuality and emotion in the next draft

but good imagery (for someone who doubts their own imagery