Dust in the Distance

Board index - Your poetry

Author	Message
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588	March 6th, 2007 at 08:53pm Dust in the Distance The circle does not end. The sun won't go down. I ride on until I can leave The trail. There's dust in the distance Clouding my view . I can't see much So I turn around. There are clouds on Both sides of me. They will not dissipate. They're swallowing me. And I haven't a place to go. There's dust in the distance Caused by my careless footsteps In the dirt.
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	March 10th, 2007 at 09:37pm There's dust in the distance Caused by my careless footsteps In the dirt. The character of this poem may have stepped in the dirt, but it isn't their fault it was there in the first place. I hope they know that. I liked the simplicity of the poem, the beat wasn't exactly defined but that works with the subject of the poem quite well. Great job.
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588	March 10th, 2007 at 10:06pm it was short and abrupt on purpose it was written and reread in a very apathetic/depressed state, so yeah thanks though I felt like just hanging my head down when I wrote it, so that's where the rhythm comes from
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD Falling In Love With The Board Age: 87 Gender: Female Posts: 5844	March 15th, 2007 at 03:01pm Well. That surprised me. Normally, I don't like these kinds of poems. But that was fairly good, actually. The end sort of made me laugh, since it ended so abruptly with "In the dirt." But it was good!
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588	March 15th, 2007 at 03:32pm Mutilating Insanity: Well. That surprised me. Normally, I don't like these kinds of poems. But that was fairly good, actually. The end sort of made me laugh, since it ended so abruptly with "In the dirt." But it was good! what "kind"?
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD Falling In Love With The Board Age: 87 Gender: Female Posts: 5844	March 15th, 2007 at 03:54pm spill_no_sick: Mutilating Insanity: Well. That surprised me. Normally, I don't like these kinds of poems. But that was fairly good, actually. The end sort of made me laugh, since it ended so abruptly with "In the dirt." But it was good! what "kind"? Ah.. I don't know how to describe it. Just like.. short, and straight-to-the-point poems. They normally have no imagery, and imagery is one of the things that makes a poem stand out. But this one had excellent imagery.
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588	March 17th, 2007 at 12:36am Mutilating Insanity: spill_no_sick: Mutilating Insanity: Well. That surprised me. Normally, I don't like these kinds of poems. But that was fairly good, actually. The end sort of made me laugh, since it ended so abruptly with "In the dirt." But it was good! what "kind"? Ah.. I don't know how to describe it. Just like.. short, and straight-to-the-point poems. They normally have no imagery, and imagery is one of the things that makes a poem stand out. But this one had excellent imagery. cool, thanks I like to staruate my poetry in pure imagery and metaphors/symbolism so if you like that, that's pretty much all I write (not to be a whore or anything) that's mainly what I like to read, stuff like Mark Strand and grunge music are my main influences if you have anything of the nature I'd like to read, so (if the forum allows it) just message me (or message me in my inbox or something
PONED Geek Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 257	March 19th, 2007 at 09:39pm pretty good. i liked it!

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