Security Breach
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921  | Epic? I tried.  Security Breach I’ve heard they can smell fear. How can you hide when nervous sweat hounds you, every stammer pounding it closer to the surface? Every pore a breach in security A breach in security. A gap in the bars. No Siren. O Holy Calm! Hast thou abandoned thy companion? Rogue sentinel, Traitorous coward! Respiratory hurricane, Gale force wheeze. Breathing eradicated. by your absence O Holy Calm! Hast thou abandoned thy companion? Hast thou abandoned thy companion in the face of mere fear? |
| wait_what Geek Age: 38 Gender: Female Posts: 411  | I really like it... especially with the use of the semi-old english "hast thou... thy" It really adds an interesting effect to the poem. Good job.  |
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921 | Thanks, I was wondering if that would fit in.  |
| Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161 | There was something very lyrical about it, which I thought made it very accessible. A very typical Panda poem, if you don't mind me saying.  And I liked how the older English gave it a certain feeling of... regression, I suppose, or that panic would transcend time and not care who it affected. If that makes sense. I am, of course, rambling, as usual. And I loved that first line. Brilliantly engaging. |
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921 | Wow, thank you. I love your interpretation of the old English part.  I actually thought of it as lyrics after I'd finished it when I read it over. If I can get my brother to sing, I may use it for one of my songs or something. |
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