Meh Poems

My poems suck wanted to give you a fair warning plus they're SHORT! Hey GD WARNING! >.<



~x.:*:.x~

My breathing speeds
As my pounding heart bleeds
It forgets my dreams
so nothing is how it seems
Lost forever the loving care
In the moments that we used to share

I had writers block at that point..


I hav emore it's just they REALLY suck but I'll post them later////

Alright, since I'm guessing you want constructive criticism, I'm going to give you some advice.

First of all, I know that when most people think of poetry they immediately try to rhyme. Rhyme can be pulled off very well, but there are some things that can make or break it. I suggest you never use an AABB pattern, unless you are really skilled. Also, when you rhyme, it's best if you make the lines with a similar number of syllables, so it flows better. Otherwise it sounds choppy and child-like. If you're dead-set on rhyming, nobody can stop you, but for beginning poets I'd probably advise you to start with free-verse.

Another thing, try staying away from cliche ideas or metaphors. An example of this would be the word bleeds in your second line. Original comparisons are one thing that is often a must in poetry.

Hope that helps to make you become a better poet. We all pretty much start off the way you're writing now.

FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda:

Alright, since I'm guessing you want constructive criticism, I'm going to give you some advice.

First of all, I know that when most people think of poetry they immediately try to rhyme. Rhyme can be pulled off very well, but there are some things that can make or break it. I suggest you never use an AABB pattern, unless you are really skilled. Also, when you rhyme, it's best if you make the lines with a similar number of syllables, so it flows better. Otherwise it sounds choppy and child-like. If you're dead-set on rhyming, nobody can stop you, but for beginning poets I'd probably advise you to start with free-verse.

Another thing, try staying away from cliche ideas or metaphors. An example of this would be the word bleeds in your second line. Original comparisons are one thing that is often a must in poetry.

Hope that helps to make you become a better poet. We all pretty much start off the way you're writing now.

Meh thanks I just randomly write when I'm supposed to be doing homework so Whatever I write goes... I guess I was going back to how I felt when I was MAJORLY depressed... I wrote stuff like that... now I have really child like ones cause I just got back into it and there well from my happier view..... thanx