Panic

All that heard is a scream.
Sight collapsing into sound,
The image of your face slowly fades away.
The colours of your heart bleed rapidly-
inking into the sinful cloth that covers my skin.

Your promises are lost within my veins,
Blackening them so deeply
That you cannot tell where my trepidation ends
And your contentment begins.

Silence slowly creeps inside my ears,
Flooding them like cities in rush hour.
My body curls, resembling tampered ribbon,
Begging to hear the soothing tone of your voice.

My whole being trembles under this abandonment,
Wanting so badly to be with yours again.
As my skin releases tears of nervousness,
My conscience seems to delve deeper into it's trapped insanity.

Bones shake as if they were leaves in the wind
That passes through this lonely vacant abyss.
Only to be an echo to your ears, if even that,
My scream goes unheard to anyone who might be near.

:::::

I struggled a bit with the end, but I think I finally managed. What do you think?

The imagery used in this is utterly amazing. The way you write is truly beautiful
Loved it
x

Hm...I'm liking this. It's unique in a certain way, because I think it almost borderlines the edges of angsty emo crap and its own idea. Hard to explain.

For instance,

"The image of your face slowly fades away.
The colours of your heart bleed rapidly-"

BILLIONS of teens have written lines almost exactly such as that. Yet, you managed to coin the phrase in some strange, abstract way.

The first stanza was definitely my favorite, your lines and syntax are so intricate, you seem to have a way with structure, and getting what you have to say out.

Good job =]

Servatis A Maleficum:

Hm...I'm liking this. It's unique in a certain way, because I think it almost borderlines the edges of angsty emo crap and its own idea. Hard to explain.

For instance,

"The image of your face slowly fades away.
The colours of your heart bleed rapidly-"

BILLIONS of teens have written lines almost exactly such as that. Yet, you managed to coin the phrase in some strange, abstract way.

The first stanza was definitely my favorite, your lines and syntax are so intricate, you seem to have a way with structure, and getting what you have to say out.

Good job =]

Wow... I...

Thank you... That really means a lot. Yes, I think I seem to be getting better at structuring it... Sometimes it doesn't always work though. x]

But really... that means a lot to me. Thank you for reading it! =]

Saz.ColourMeCrazeh:

The imagery used in this is utterly amazing. The way you write is truly beautiful
Loved it
x

Aw... thank you.

Yeah... I think I captured the imagery WAY better this time. It took a hell of a lot of time to get the right words though. But hey... nothing is good if you don't try.

woooh... I could imagine all of that.