Get Away

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Destination_Unknown
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Destination_Unknown
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
April 19th, 2007 at 07:04pm
I'm sitting here waiting
Waiting to find a get away
Up & Down the halls I'm pacing
I just need to find a get away

Walking down the ally
I spot you lying all alone
I bring you to a place called "The Vally"
Just to have fun and now we call it home

When we ran away
to a place that we thought was true
far away
They only place that we knew

"The Ally" was always there
It was our only get away
We were the only ones who cared
It was always there, it was our only get away

When in doubt, lost, or even confussed
We went there to get away
We began to feel a passion
We thought we had another get away

It brought us together, we fell in love
Just me and him, with out own little get away
If it wasn't for our own ally, we would have never fell in love
It was more than just our get away

It's our home.
PONED
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PONED
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257
April 19th, 2007 at 07:07pm
you gotta work on your rhyming rythym.
it seems as if you rushed the poem and didnt take much time to actually think about what you are saying.and i think you spelled "Alley" and "Valley" wrong, unless you meant to do that :/
that was good though. just keep trying
Destination_Unknown
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Destination_Unknown
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
April 19th, 2007 at 07:11pm
.....i know, i was reading my history textbook when i wrote it.. and i was tuning my guitar. I meant to spell that that way but thanx, ik i suck at the rhymimg patterns. I sounded a little too repetitive but im working on it
La Tua Cantante
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La Tua Cantante
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 171

Mibba Blog
April 22nd, 2007 at 07:30pm
ok i did not get that poem at all.....first your pacing the halls and suddenly your with your love in a valley, or a alley i dont know....and then its your home?
XheartachetosingX is right....you need to work on your ryming pattern....and you shouldnt do multi tasks like that......tuning your guitar and reading oyur history text book AND writing a poem?......thats not really the things to do while writing a poem...take time when your writing something.....dont rush it....concentrate on it and it comes better
just try to work on that and youll get a lot better......keep working on it though! Smiley
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