The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786
  | October 30th, 2007 at 09:03pm Your leaves are turning brown and gray,
no snow to be seen. Silly thing, hidden in
a pearl, laughing with the world in your
flippant, old way. Customary indifference
due to your dark and rubbish-tip heart
and the other, coloured with neon
gas, showing the universe your name
in unrecognizable letters.
Sinking your smile with a rotten
tooth, cemented internally by some
mysterious God that you love.
Abstract life throbbing in your
veins, who is to blame?
Can you account the neuron activity?
Your brain ticks, suicide pact with
that old respiratory sewer system.
Bathing in the ammonia, drinking urine,
what a mockery, what a salad of a man. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | October 30th, 2007 at 09:58pm You. This is really well crafted, the imagery is very fluid, meaning that you have great themes running throughout. I thought that was particularly good considering the length; a lot shorter than most of your other poems, yet still you managed to seal the meaning in good and neatly. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| October 31st, 2007 at 01:30pm I loved it.
The flow is excellent and the word choice exquisite.
Good job. |
