lost in nowhere

I live alone yet my house is filled with people.
I curl up endlessly in a despreate hope to find myself at the end of my bed. Dispare creeps up on me as I sit in black, never any other color for it dipises my true being.
My only hope of surviving is through reading, painting and just triing to live through each day to find my life lost in a dark abyss waiting for me. Future is destined for me but not the one I want, or see myself really doing.
writing my opinions and feelings everyday is my only strength to hold on.
Music is my life and forever shall be.
Many years of my academic work to only be filed away as just "another student" and plastered among many of my memory walls never to be used.
I strain to remember what i used to think I was only to find emptyness and untruth. Not me, just an old fool who no longer exists in this world of mislead people.
I truely walk a lonely road deep in my heart, beating for reply.
walk....walk....and not finding a place that I call me.