Billie Joe Decided to Shut the Door to His Past, Once and For All, chapter 15

"Well?" Tré said, literally jumping up and down. He knew Mike was a mess but he couldn't do anything about it at that moment. So what Adie had said was much more interesting.
"Billie Joe is gone," Mike said without taking his gaze form the twinkling stars.
"G-gone?" Tré stuttered staring wide-eyed at his friend. Then a tear found its way down his cheek, and then another one. Slowly Tré started to cry but not even then did Mike bother to turn around.
"Yeah, gone," he repeated coldly.
"Tré, why are you crying?" Joseph asked pulling Tré's sleeve to get his attention. Tré looked down at him and sniffled.
"'Cuz Billie is gone," Tré answered patting Joseph comfortingly on the head. The child gave him a weird look and pushed his hand away.
"I don't get it," he muttered.
"Well his gone, you know, like dead," Tré explained with a compassionate look on his face. To his surprise the boy started laughing t him.
"No you doofus! Mike meant gone as in gone away. Weren't you listening at all? My dad has run away from home, he's not dead," Joseph laughed rolling his eyes at Tré.
"Oh, eh, I knew that," Tré muttered embarrassed.
"No you didn't," Joseph protested and put his hands on his hips while shaking his head.
"Yes I did," Tré bit back.
"No!" Joseph said raising his voice somewhat.
"Yes!" was the stubborn reply. Tré refused to admit that he'd misunderstood it all.
"NO!" Joseph yelled and pushed Tré who pushed him back. They started to push each other screaming loudly. Their little fight was noisy enough to make Mike turn around. Tré notice it and give Joseph one final push that caused the boy to fall to the floor. He sat down with a thump and stuck his tongue out at Tré but Tré paid no attention to him.
"Wait, don't tell me," Tré said holing up his hand to make Mike keep quiet. "You're going to say 'why'? Right?" Tré gave Mike a beaming smile but got no reaction at all from his friend. It made Tré even more depressed. He couldn't help Mike, he couldn't comfort him and he couldn't cheer him up. Not even make him smile for just a second. Tré had always been able to make his friends smile no matter how downhearted they'd been. Being funny was a part of his identity. If he wasn't able to get at least a smirk from Mike there was nothing left of the Tré he always had been. At that point Tré lost all apprehension of who he was. He didn't know himself anymore. He sighed and tiled his head to the left waiting for Mike to tell him what was going to happen next.
"We're going over to Adie," Mike said as he headed for the door walking past Tré without looking at him. Tré turned his head as his gaze followed Mike. Then he looked at Joseph who was still sitting on the floor. The boy was pouting and had his arms folded across his chest. Tré smiled a little at the sight. Joseph sure reminded a lot of his dad.
"Hey, do you wanna go home?" Tré asked with a soft voice but the child just shook his head wildly. "But you can't stay here alone."
"Can too," the boy said being sulky.
"Nope," Tré disagreed. He held out his hand towards Joseph waiting for the kid to take it so he could help him up, but Joseph turned his head away with a discontent look on his face, ignoring Tré completely.
"You can't tell me what to do," he stated stubbornly staying where he was.
"Yes I can and do you want to know something else? It's no use refu-" Tré said when Mike interrupted him by calling for him and telling him to come.
"But what 'bout Joey?" Tré shouted back, unwilling to leave the boy. Partly 'cause he was concerned about him and partly 'cause he hated being the one losing an argument.
"Let him be," was Mike's reply and although there still was no trace of emotion in his voice Tré knew it was final. So he sighed, glared at Joseph, stuck out his tongue at him and left the room.
"Tré," the boy called out before Tré had walked out the door. Tré turned his head towards the boy who stuck out his tongue at him, returning the favor. Tré choused to ignore him and simply left.

Billie Joe stumbled down the dark street into an alleyway where he sunk down with his back against the wall of some building. He had no idea where he was or how he'd got there. Jimmy had taken over shortly after Billie Joe had left Adie to her confusion. He closed his eyes tiredly for a moment trying recall what had happened. He remembered the look on Joseph's face. His oldest son had been able to see Jimmy. The thought made cold shivers go down his back. When he'd left his family they had been scared and confused. But that was nothing compared to how Billie Joe felt. He banged his head backward against the concrete wall once and then stayed motionless for a while. The pain gave him something to focus on. It allowed him to keep his mind away from the thoughts about his family. Thoughts that burned like fire inside his head with flames of despair. He wanted Jimmy to come out and take it all away so he could rest his troubled mind. Billie Joe sighed and banged his head against the wall once more. Why did he hurt those he loved? He didn't mean to cause no harm but it seemed like no matter what he did he fucked up.

"I'm jinxed that's for sure," Billie Joe mumbled to himself. "I'm a mess, a huge mess. But who am I? Man, I don't know anymore. "
"I wish Mike was here. I wish he could comfort me like he did when we were kids," Billie Joe thought as he closed his eyes and huddled up with his back pressed against the wall as if it would prevent anything bad from happening. "Whenever I was sad, upset or confused he would be there for me. Mike was always strong. But now, now he has broken down. I was so stupid. How could I not notice that he was lonely? I'm gonna make everything alright this time though. This time I won't fuck up. After I've gone through with the plan I'm gonna make sure Mike isn't left alone. And I'm gonna make things up to Adie and I'll be a better dad for my sons. And Tré, I'll take care of Tré. Poor him. Everything will be fine this time."
"Don't you guys worry, it'll be fine. Everything will be ok," he whispered as if they were able to hear him. A tear tickled his cheek and he wiped it away. Crying was useless.

Billie Joe choked back the rest of the tears. He was scared that they somehow could wash away the pieces of his shattered soul. He was already uncertain about who he was and feared that letting his emotions out would drain them. Billie Joe hated emptiness more than anything else. He hated feeling numb and cold. Hated it when his friends weren't around, when it was silent. Sometimes he even began to doubt that he actually was alive when he was alone. A few times he got so worried about it that he had to check if his heart was still beating. He let out a trembling sigh thinking about why he felt like he was alone even though there was people around him. At times he felt even lonelier in a crowd than in an empty room. Maybe it was because even though there were people around they didn't care. They didn't notice him and others seemed so much more important then him.

Billie Joe really disliked the feeling that he was insignificant. That everyone around him cared about one another while he was invisible. Lately that feeling had come creeping onto him when he hanged out with his friends. It wasn't exactly the same, it was more like he was alone no matter if Mike, Tré or someone else of his friends was around. Billie Joe banged his head against the wall again barley noticing it even though it hurt pretty bad. He tried to grasp that something that would explain the feeling of loneliness. But it kept slipping through his fingers. It was too abstract. Pain helped catching it however. Made it easier to understand and more real somehow.

"It's like I'm not there," he muttered. "Like I'm caught in this other world. Another dimension. From where I can't escape. And it doesn't matter if Mike and Tré is around or not I'm still alone 'cuz I'm at a different place. I can be right in front of them but I'm still light years away. As far away as the stars. It's as impossible for anyone to reach me as it is to reach the stars."

As small whimpering sound escaped his lips and he huddled up even more. The emptiness was another reason for him to self-harm. Pain was real even if nothing else was. He could feel it even though everything else seemed to be nothing more then a bad dream. It kept the emptiness from swallowing him and prevented the darkness from filling him completely. Whenever he cut, or hurt himself in any way, it was like a sharp beam of light that pierced through the gloom of nothingness in his head. Billie Joe was convinced that sometimes it was the only thing that kept him sane. The only thing that made all his theories and conclusion about his loneliness collapse however, no matter what, was the fact that sometimes he felt less lonely when he actually was alone. There was a feeling that he was more real, more present if no one else was around.

Perhaps it was because he felt like some ghost around other people. Once again the explanation that had seemed to be just within his grasp danced away mockingly as it got caught by a stream of thoughts, which demolished the bridge towards understanding the matter that he had been building in his mind. Billie Joe cursed silently 'cause he just couldn't understand his own behavior as well as 'cause his head had started to hurt a great deal. He opened his eyes looking around irritably and his gaze happened to fall on a pool of water.

"Who am I? What am I? Am at all?" he asked in a sad voice as he saw his reflection in the water. Of course he didn't get an answer.

For a brief second he thought Jimmy glared back at him from the depths of the puddle. Then it proved to be himself. Billie Joe shook his head trying to get rid of the thought that he actually was Jimmy. He didn't like that thought, not at all. 'Cause if he was Jimmy then he was a cold-blooded murderer, or at least he would be a murderer after he'd gone through with the plan, and if that was the case he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He was glad he wouldn't be a killer. He was actually thrilled that all would be Jimmy's fault. Billie Joe had a predilection for taking the easy way out in all situations. Therefore his philosophy was that it made living much easier when he had someone to give the blame for his actions. It was a mentality that a lot of people live by and regardless of whether the guilt is placed upon God, parents, society, school or imaginary friends it's always easier to live with oneself if pretending that everything bad is someone else's fault. Billie Joe figured that if someone else could be blamed he couldn't be held responsible for his actions.

Most of the time he was able to stand himself since the times he fucked up wasn't his fault. There were moments however when the truth broke its chains and escaped from the darkest corners of his mind. Every time that happened Billie Joe was forced to face the cruel and bitter reality. He hated himself during those sessions of overwhelming guilt and saw no other way of escaping it then running to the light of masochism. Self-inflicted pain was often a way for him to deal with things. He knew that in the end it wasn't helping at all and that it actually added on to all the feelings and thoughts that originally made him harm himself but he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know how he else should handle it.

Tré tapped his fingers in annoyance as he kept looking from Adie to Mike. They didn't come to a conclusion on the 'Billie running away' issue and it was really starting to irritate him. Adie would do nothing but swing between crying and acting as if she couldn't care less about what her housebound was up to, while Mike remained cold and emotionless no matter what. That had actually started to scare Tré. Sure there was a faint flicker of emotion to be found in Mike's eyes but when it appeared it only made things worse. Tré studied his friend's features even though he knew that Mike's face would remain neutral. There it was again, that dim twinkle of grief and concern. Tré sighed as it appeared in Mike's eyes only to disappear just as sudden at it had come. He had the horrible feeling that whenever an emotion managed to fill Mike's eyes it left him. Like it was leaking or something.

"I need to learn new words, I should open a dictionary once in a while," Tré thought as he stopped tapping his fingers. "Emotions that leak, how stupid isn't that? No, wait! Don't answer! It's very fukin' stupid."
He made a funny face which passed unnoticed and started drumming on the kitchen table.
"Why always kitchens? Isn't there better places to gather?" he thought and did yet another grimace. "Lack of fantasy. Bad brains that don't provides us with fresh, new, exciting ideas. That's why we're always in the kitchen. I mean, why not the living room? Or the garden. Sure it's night now but still. Oh, I know! We're in the kitchen so Mike fucking Dirnt can have his dumb coffee." Tré stuck out his tongue at Mike as if it was his fault Tré was moody.
"Yes Tré," Mike said and Tré froze with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth.
"Eh, n-nothing," he stuttered and proceeded drumming on the table.
"Oh, would you stop that!" Adie lashed out against him angrily.
Tré felt an urge to stick his tongue out at her as well but he resisted. Instead he went back to tapping his fingers although he knew perfectly well that that too would get on Adie's nerves. She didn't bother him with a look and simply hit him over the fingers. He pulled his hand away shaking it like it would make the pain go away. Tré resolutely put his fingers in his mouth like a child would. Adie rolled her eyes at him, trying her very best to suppress her anger.
"Could you two focus," Mike said and Tré pulled his fingers out of his mouth so he could speak properly.
"Question mark," he added to what Mike just had said.
"What?" Adie asked confused giving Tré a look that suggested he was both irritating and weird.
"It was a question, but you couldn't tell by Mike's tone of voice since he speaks in a monotone so I thought it was a good idea to point out that it in fact was a question," Tré babbled. Adie raised and eyebrow at him.
"Tré, do you wanna help or not? Stop acting like a goddamn child!" she muttered. She was fed up with his childish attitude. Usually she found his odd ways amusing but she simply couldn't put up with anything since Billie Joe had left her sitting on the couch, crying her eyes out. She wanted to find him and Tré wasn't exactly helpful. Adie buried her face in her hands trying her best to hold back the tears that burned behind her eyelids. She wondered if she was the only one who still cried.
"I cry too," Tré whispered patting her on the shoulder, which made Adie snap her head in his direction.
"What?" she asked tiredly.
"You muttered something about if you were the only one that cried. You're not. I still cry. I'm still able to cry," Tré explained. He opened up his arms and after giving him an uncertain look Adie let him hug her. Tré embraced her and for some reason it made her feel a tiny bit better.
"When did somebody last care about me? And show it?" she thought clinging to Tré, sobbing against his shoulder.
"I'm g-glad we we're friends Tré," she said in-between sobs.
"Yeah, me too," he smiled.
"I'll see you tomorrow. We might be able to figure out what we should do after getting a good night's sleep," Mike suddenly stated as he got up from his chair.
"Mike? What?" Tré blurred out rashly.
"You two can comfort each other. This will be easier to deal with tomorrow when you aren't so tensed and upset. Just remember that you're friends. No more and no less then friends," Mike answered and was just about to leave when Tré grabbed his sleeve.
"Don't go, stay here with us," Tré pleaded. Mike gave Adie a quick glance, which actually contained a trace of emotion. It held a glow of something close to hate.
"Stay with me," Tré quickly corrected himself right after Mike had looked at Adie.
"No," Mike said shaking his head slightly. "You two should take some time to heal and I know you can help one another comprehending what's happened. I'll not contribute at all. And you can't help me."
Before Tré could say another word Mike had left. Tré stared at the spot he'd been standing, his mouth hanging open.
"It's so typical Mike to always run from things," Adie scorned throwing disgusted glances in the direction Mike had been.
"Yeah, it kinda is," Tré agreed even though he realized that Adie was talking shit about his friend.
"He never deals with anything. No wonder he's fucked up. You know I think he's a cutter," Adie continued still with the same detest in her voice.
"W-what makes you, erm, think that?" Tré gulped. He didn't know if it was because it would be a bad thing if Adie found out that Mike was cutting, or if it was because of something else. Something that had got to do with himself.
"Well, he just ignores everything that hurts or upsets him, doesn't he?" Adie explained and even if it was more of a remark than a question Tré felt like he had to answer.
"Yeah, but what else is he supposed to do?" he managed to get out.
"What do you mean? Like, what is he supposed to do other than ignoring everything or do you mean what else is he supposed to do if not cutting himself?" Adie wanted to know.
"Hey, you we're the one who didn't make sense in the first place! I mean, you know he cuts 'cuz he ignores all the shit people throw at him all the time?" Tré sort of spitted out as he got more and more angry.
"Um, no. I didn't mean like tha-" Adie started. "Look, Tré, I just tried to say that he's motto seems to be 'ignore it and it'll go away'. He gotta deal with it somehow, right?" she explained in what, to her, were plain terms.
"So you can tell that he self harms simply because you think you know that he never deals with anything?" Tré demanded to know. He more and more felt like leaving Adie to go and do something more meaningful, like searching for Billie Joe.
"Sitting on my big, fat, lazy ass arguing with Adie won't do," Tré thought and gave the woman an evil glare. "Billie gotta be found and this is a waste of time."
"I might not know him as well as you do but I do know that he doesn't deal with things," Adie burst out suddenly. "If someone hurt his feelings he pretends it never happened. Do you really think I have no idea how he deals with things? I've seen it every time he and Billie Joe have had some kind of fight or disagreement. He never cries no matter how bad my, sometimes stupid, husband hurts him. He always forgive him no matter what and act like nothing ever happened. He keeps it all bundled up inside. The man suffers Tré," she ended with a softer voice, and it was probably one of the nicest things she'd ever said about Mike. She barely ever spook nicely about him. Tré had always thought she would dance around in joy if she knew that Mike was in pain, but apparently not.
"Do you actually give a damn? I always thought you hated him," Tré muttered slightly confused that Adie seemed to care.
"Most of the time, yeah I do," she sighed, "but no one deserves to go through everything Mike have experienced."
"You're right," Tré nodded but Adie raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'm right that he doesn't deserve all the shit he's been through, or am I right about him cutting?" Adie asked.
"Both, and don't start again!" Tré said with a whiney voice.
"What do you mean 'don't start again?" Adie cried out.
"That's exactly what I'm talking about! You never understand what I'm trying to say!" Tré muttered with a discontent pout.
"Oh, like you get what I mean," she sneered and tried to fold her arms across her chest only to find it impossible. Tré was still hugging her. "Um, Tré, would you mind, eh, could you perhaps let go of me now?"
"Right, sorry," he mumbled in response and released her.

Billie Joe looked around as he walked down the street. He had figured out where he was. He knew that he was still in Oakland and was pretty sure of how to get to his final destination. What he didn't know however was how the hell he'd gotten to where he was. Billie Joe had absolutely no idea what had happened after he'd walked out the door. Not that it mattered to him. All that mattered was that the plan had to succeed. Therefore he started to walk again despite the fact that the hour was late. He had nowhere to sleep so he figured that he might as well could walk all night. That way he would keep warm and also narrow down the amount of time needed to go through with the plan. He kinda liked walking down the deserted streets in the middle of the night. He liked walking in general; it gave him a lot of inspiration.

Billie Joe wrote a lot of his lyrics while he was out walking. It had been during one of his strolls that the lines 'I'm the son of rage and love/The Jesus of suburbia' had suggested itself. Making American Idiot had been so much fun even though it had been hard too. He loved the fact that he always had somewhere to run when reality was too much, that he always could flee to his music. Being out on tour, making a record or just playing or writing lyrics was like a different world where his everyday trouble couldn't get to him. The plan was similar to that in a way. While he was on this mission to get rid of his past everything else seemed to fade away and a pretended world took shape. It was like a game. A game where he decided the rules. Where he was in control. Just like when he dealt with music. And he liked that. He liked that no one could tell him how things should be and that no one sat up boundaries or limits. What he didn't think of though was that he always had to returnee to real life. It can't be ignored for ever and there's no way to actually escape it. All you can to is to take a break every once in a while. Billie Joe really, really didn't like to think about that and therefore it always took him quite a while to accept the fact that he couldn't go on pretending forever. Besides he started to miss his family and all the small things in life after some time on the road or in the studio. Even being free and careless had its downsides. He got tired of it no matter how much he loved it simply 'cause he started question himself if he was happy, and whenever you start to question if you are truly happy you cease to be it. Besides, breaking free is never hard, its being free that tough. Nothing of that mattered at the time however. Billie Joe did only focus on what he had to do, or at least he tried. He couldn't prevent those unpleasant thoughts from sneaking out of the dark corners in his mind where they lurked, though. Thoughts about solitude, rage, love and pain. The kind of thoughts that consumed everything else. That was bittersweet enough to bring tears to his eyes. The ones he never seemed to understand. No matter how hard he tried. So it was simpler to ignore them, to pretend they weren't there. Waiting in the shadows. Waiting for an opportunity to float up to the surface, like an old, swollen, rotting corps. Not too many people would understand why he didn't want to think about such things as love, but he just really didn't like to think about it. Except from the times he wrote lyrics about it. No, love was way too complicated for him, and if he thought too much about it he started to wonder what love actually was and if he really, truly loved those he thought he loved. The thought that it was all illusions scared the living hell outa him. 'Cause what would he do if he realized that he'd been living a lie? If feelings that he'd been taken for granted was nothing but make-believe? Then the horrible emptiness would come creeping and slowly engulf him. It was simply better to let sleeping dogs lie.

"You're never gonna get there if you're gonna walk the whole way," a voice hissed, interrupting Billie Joe's stream of thoughts.
"I'm not gonna walk from here to Vancouver. Of course not. I just felt like taking a walk, that's all Jimmy," Billie Joe muttered.
"Not one of your brighter ideas," Jimmy replied somewhat angry and Billie Joe shrugged his shoulders. "What if they come looking for you? You gotta put some distance between you and them."
"They won't start looking for me until tomorrow, at earliest," Billie Joe told him calmly but Jimmy was high-strung and wouldn't listen.

He kept telling Billie Joe that there was no time to loose, and Billie Joe kept repeating that they had all the time in the world. Jimmy saw no reason to waste it though. They went on for a while arguing about it but finally Jimmy gave up and crept back into the shadow-filled corners of Billie Joe's mind. Billie Joe sighed relived even though he was somewhat sad that Jimmy wasn't around anymore. Jimmy was very helpful form time to time. But he wasn't reliable, though. Not at all. And Billie Joe wasn't stupid enough to trust him. He'd thought at the beginning that he'd been able to trust Jimmy, but ever since the incident where Jimmy had suggested that he should kill Mike he was much more on his guard. Billie Joe had learned long ago that no one could be trusted, not even himself. Especially not himself. It had been naïve to think that St. Jimmy could be trusted. Why should Billie Joe trust him when he didn't even trust Mike or Adie? He had been stupid. But he had wanted to be able to trust someone so bad. Why he didn't know since he'd claimed that 'trust was a dirty word that came only from such a liar'. Sadly, that had once again proved to be correct. Jimmy had told Billie Joe early on that he could trust him, which hadn't been true. What a liar he was. Once again Billie Joe started to have second thoughts about the plan but he quickly made up him mind. It was the only way, the only solution. There was no turning back anymore.

Tré had given up trying to have a rewarding conversation with Adie. They only got on each others nerves. The thing they both could agree on however was to take Mike's advice and continue tomorrow. They hadn't followed the other suggestion he'd given them though. Mainly because Adie hadn't wanted to be comforted by Tré. But Tré hadn't been to keen on sticking around trying to make Adie feel better either. Not that he didn't want to cheer her up but he simply didn't feel like he was able to. He wasn't the funny, amusing guy who made everyone smile anymore. He was just in the way. He was annoying. Tré really disliked being in the way and he wasn't thrilled about being called annoying either, even though he knew he could be a pain. Sometimes Tré thought that being annoying could be fun but not when his goal was to help someone and not to annoy the living hell outa the person. So since he was a bit depressed about not being able to help anyone he figured he could stop by at Kathy's house and ask her what she thought about Mike's dream. Tré didn't even think about how late it was when he knocked on her door, all that was on his mind was the thought that talking to her somehow would prove to be helpful to Mike. He had to knock a while before she opened.

"Frank? What the hell are ya doing here so goddamn late? What the hell do ya want?" Kathy spitted out when she opened the door and found Tré there.
"I wanna talk 'bout a dream my friend had recently," Tré said as he walked pass her and into the hallway.
"Frank you sonuvabitch, you woke me up 'cuz of some stupid dream a friend of yours had?!" she almost yelled but Tré was too concerned about Mike to notice how irritated she was. He simply continued into the living room and sunk down in the old armchair he always sat in when he visited her. Kathy realized that he wouldn't leave until they'd talked about the dream he'd mentioned so she tried to calm down as she slowly walked over to him. She sat down in the couch with a deep sigh.
"Right, tell me 'bout that dream so I can get some sleep," she muttered and then yawned, mostly to show Tré she was deadbeat.
"Oh, yeah. Sure," Tré mumbled and once again Kathy's hint passed unnoticed.
"C'mon! You're one helluva slow-thinking bastard Frank," she grunted. "Would you tell me already?"
"Geeze! I'm trying to think here, k?" Tré replied rolling his eyes at her.
"Aw, man," Kathy muttered in annoyance but Tré didn't hear her, or if he did he completely ignored her.
"Rrright, I think I remember," he started and Kathy nodded urgently at him to go on. "He said that his friends where missing sorta, ya know? And, hm, it was raining so he ran to his house, but he'd lost the keys. Oh, yeah, it was night, he told me it was night and that he could see the moon, but no stars, weird huh? Anyway, he got inside his house but I don't remember how, through a window a think, and he found like bottles and a joint. He said his house was tumbled-down by the way, and he like walked around a bit. Yeah, um, he found a cup of coffee, Mike loves coffee. You have no idea how much he can drink, he has got the biggest cup I've ever seen. He has his own café too, Rudy's Can't Fail Café, like the song Rudie Can't Fail, ya know. The Clash, ya know? He thinks the Clash is great, or yeah was 'cuz-"
"Frank, get to the stinking point willya?" Kathy interrupted when Tré started to ramble.
"Oh, yeah, right. So, anyway, he looked at himself in this mirror, evil mirror a tell ya! But he could only see his mouth for some reason, strange don'tcha think? He saw some razorblades too but I think he kinda ignored them or whatever. Then he said he heard this whispers followed by laughter. He walked in that direction and saw a shadow that he somehow knew belonged to BJ. But BJ started to run and Mike chased after him 'cuz he kinda knew that BJ was hiding something, a secret he said. When he caught up on him he felt scared so he hid. Seems kinda stupid if you ask me, but hey it's not my dream. Anyway, he can't recall too many details but he said he ran away from BJ after that. Then he was outside again, and it was still dark. Did I mention it was dark outside before? I said it was night but not that it was, oh you know what? Never mind. Movin' on. Well, he heard someone digging and followed the sound I guess. He didn't see anyone, or at least I don't think so, but anyway, he found a grave and then I think he woke up. So wuddaya've to say 'bout it?"
"Alright, lemme think a while, k?" Kathy said when Tré had finished talking.
"M'kay," Tré agreed but Kathy didn't pay him any attention.
"Ok, I think I know what it all means without looking anything up," Kathy started slowly and thoughtfully. Tré nodded excitingly at her, almost bouncing up and down where he sat. She remained quiet a while though, which made Tré very impatient. It caused him to start kicking his feet in the air while, at the same time, drumming on the armchair.
"Settle down man," Kathy said. "Geeze, you're hopeless."
"No, I'm a drummer," Tré smiled proudly.
"Yeah, pure drummer and waaaay too much energy," Kathy agreed.
"Funny you should say that, that's what Mike says too. Maybe you guys are right," Tré said still with an exited voice.
"Sure we are. But anyway, let's get back to the dream, k?" Kathy suggested and Tré nodded in a hyperactive kind of way. "Absence of friends means emotional problems. Rain is usually a good omen that means luck and success, unless you already are wealthy. Then it's a bad omen. About the keys, well, losing them is simply bad luck. Dreaming that it's night is an omen that says that troubles and delays are at hand. If he'd seen stars in the sky it had meant harmony and happiness but he did only see a moon, didn't he? Well, a moon can be either a change for the better or for the worse depending on if the moon was on the wax or on the wane. And let's see now, the bottles and the joint. The bottles were bear bottles I guess, and all kinds of drugs means that you should avoid making rash, unwise decisions. Empty bottles also mean some kinda loss. And about the house. Usually a house represents good things, but a tumbled-down house equals sorrow. You babbled a lot about coffee and that can mean either good news and happiness or that you're going to lose a friend. If the coffee was bitter it's the second alternative. The evil mirrors, yeah. I told you about mirrors before, didn't I? Anyway, you're completely right. Dishonesty and lack of loyalty, that's what dreaming about a mirror means. I don't know if the meaning's different if you look at yourself in the mirror though. But you said he only saw his mouth, right? A mouth suggests that you should keep quiet about something you know. Razorblades, or just razors for that matter, means that you should show more restraint. Whispers means you should think twice before you speak or act and laughter is bad luck in love and friendships. A shadow belonging to someone else is a sign that dangers lures on you path. Secrets in a dream are synonymous with betrayal and calumny. Or, well, not exactly synonymous with, but you should really watch out for it. Anyway. To hide yourself means that you should think things through carefully before you act. Running away, how classical, what a cliché! But, anyway, it means trouble when you run from someone, or something. And last but not least, the grave. A grave means loss and melancholy," Kathy finished with a small sigh, looking a bit sad.

"Poor Mikey, he's in for a rough time," Tré said hanging his head down. All his energy was gone and he felt really depressed. He'd hoped that Mike's dream had contained some kind of hope but it seemed to be nothing more then the darkest of nightmares.
"I feel really sorry for your friend. If that's what his life's gonna be like fore some time to come I wouldn't blame him if he choused to end it, ya know?" Kathy said suddenly.
"End it? You mean like killing himself?" Tré asked in a grave voice and Kathy just nodded in response.

Tré let out a big and sorrow-filled sigh thinking that Mike maybe wouldn't stick around for so much longer. Tré had a horrible feeling about it that wouldn't go away. He was pretty sure that even if Mike would be more or less okay, after all that was happening at the moment, his days were still numbered. No one could go through all that and still have the will and energy to live on much longer. A single tear found its way down Tré's cheek but he barely even noticed it. All he could focus on was the nagging feeling that Mike would end up taking his own life. And that it was too late to do anything to prevent it.