Something That Has To Do With Everything *Shifts Eyes*, chapter 1

~*Mike's pov of not eating before we really start the story*~

"I'm... I'm so cold." as of now Mike is in a dark closet in Micheal Jackson's manor (a. K. A Mr. Jefferson). "I must not think of food... Ahh! I thought of food!" slapping himself silly, footsteps from near by disturb him, he huddles closer in the corner.

Tre's pov.
"Mmmm hot dog... Yummie meat.. And relish.. And radish.. Oh and who could forget... MUSTARD!"

Mike's pov.
"Oh my god I can smell..." he sniffs the air then sneezes"... Hot dogs..." he goes pail and barfs.

Jade's pov.
"Hmm wonder where Mike went.. I haven't seen him for two days.. I hope he isn't 'dieting'.. I mean he's going to die if he doesn't stop!" she explains to Billie over coffee and a light snake of doughnuts and jam... And biscuits..." Wait a second.. I smell hot dogs... HOT DOGS HOT DOGS!" she dashed out of the room and triped over feet as she turned the corner. She spun around to see Tre eating hot dogs with radish..." Tre..." Jade says staring at the puke coming out from the closet... It looks like... Saliva and hair." TRE WAT HAPPENED!" she got up quickly and slowely turned the door handle.
... Dun dun DUUUNNNN!

Mike's pov.

"Hissssssss"he screeches as the light hits his face "It burns!" he squeals! He thinks to himself as he sees a disapointed Jade looking at him.. ' oh god she better not have food'... With that thought he barfs again... Even though there is nothing in his stomach.

Jade's POV.

"Oh my God he's such and anorexic man-whore!" jade exclaimed." it's gone to far.. It's time to call.. The captain" she draged Mike out of the dusty closet and grabed the phone angerly. Mike yells in protest"NOOO leave me be!"

~*On phone with Abby (a. K. A the captain)*~

"Abby... I mean captain.. I need you here... No it's an emergency... I need baby food, chains, rope, and a non perishable spoon... Yes that means no plastic... Oh my God shut up God... Uhuh yes Billie's feet stink... SHUT UP!" Jade looked down at her watch... 11:30 a. M. "aiya captain" as she hung up the phone.

Abby's POV.

OH MY GOD not again! I better get some papers towles.. This could get messy... And I should pick up Tre's tranquilizers to... Just in case. She thought to herself.

Jade's POV.

"WHAT IS TAKING HER SO LONG!"

Abby's POV.

"Hmm... ShouLD I get Bounty or Scoties... Well Bounty is less costly yet doesn't absorb as well... Hmm" 20 minutes passed before she had made up her mind. "I know... DRUM ROLL PLEASE! I WILL GET.. BOTH!" she put them in her cart and didn't notice all the people staring at her." Now for the other items!... What where they!"

Jade's POV.

The phone rang.. After letting it ring a couple times she answered "HELLO!" she yelled. "Hello and good morning this is Scotia Bank calling please hold."
"... Great"she sat down at the table and taped her fingers against the wood waiting for a long time.

Abby's POV.

"Oohh mall music!.. Wait eeww... Ok I know what they want now I think I found the list.. On my palm" Abby went from isle to isle searching for the chains but couldn't seem to find them "... Hmm well if I where chains where would I be... I know in 'Toys R Us'!"
She ran out of the mall to 'Toys R Us'. Not realizing she forgot to pay.

Jade's POV.

20 minutes later on the phone with Scotia Bank." oh my God they started playing Usher! Those bastards!" she turned her ear away from the phone as the sound got louder."... Tre.. Not today" Tre cames down the stairs with hand cuffs, a plastic gun.. And butless chaps." Tre I'm not playing that game!" she screamed in terror. "Oh come on it will be fun!" Tre replied as he raised his eye brows to seduce her. Billie stares at Tre when he comes in the house with Abby closely behind. Billie looked a bit puzzled and disgusted at the same time "Tre, what are you doing?" Tre quickly snaped his fingers, a cloud of purple smoke apeared clearing a quick gettaway up the stairs, he yells "She'll come around hehehehehe!" the giggles faded, everyone gazing up the stairs at the buttless chaps on the top step.
Finally coming to their senses Jade realized Abby is there and yells "WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG TO GET HERE!?!"
"Um well its a long story really" Abby replies flopping on the couch.
Jade twitches and yells "WELL I HAVE TIME! DO TELL!"
Abby looks up from the t. V and smiles... And repeats the story to Jade leaving out the part where she was sent to jails for a few hours.

Officer's POV. At jail a few hours ago

"She looks like a desperate house wife to me... Don't you agree Bob?" Binkly asks.
"Yes.. So should we let her off.. I don't know.. Hey did you see that doughnut over there!?!" Bob gasps! "It's huge. A familair face walks in "HEY EVAN!"
"Hey guys thank you!" Evan says.. Most likely stoned out of his mind." And how are you today!?!
Bob replies "Fine and dandy and how are you?!?"
Evan drools a bit and says "Fine thank you!" (yes that is from a conversation actaully taking place in our school by Mr. Bonter the principal and Evan... *shivers*).
"Ok you know where yout cell is get to it!" Bob says and slaps Evans ass and giggles.
(That never happened! )

"Ok anyway ok you have one phone call.. Ughh Abby Pholopus..?" Bob opened the gate "And make this a good one."

Abby's pov.

"Hmm who shall I call... Well I can't call Jade cause she is still chatting up that Scotia Bank people.. Heheh they always call.. Anyway, my only option is... Billie" she makes a evil look towards the phone and walks to it. Never in her life did she think she would have to call this number.

Billie'sPOV.

"Ringgeeerrr Ringeeer!" the phone screeches, Billie picks up.. Thinking why does it go "Ringgerr" he heres a faint laugh in the background that makes his stomach tighten. "Hello?"... No reply"HELLO!"
"Hello Billie.. It is I.. Abby!" Billie scowles.
"Hello Abby... What do you want." he picks something out of his tooth (ew). "And make it quick I'm making buiscuts"
"What the hell? You know how to cook?!?" she inqiurers.
"Leave me alone.. What do you want!?"
"Come pick me up from the jail thing... I forget how I got here... But I see a 'Toys R Us' store... Hurry Evan is trying to talk to me!... About porcupines."
With that they hang up. As you should know by now Abby and Billie don't exactly get along... For reasons unknown and to complicated to understand.

Tre's POV. (in the present)

Shaking back and forth he wispers"She'll come around" he starts chanting "Jade Jade.. Jasper Japser.. Wait whos Wasper... 'HAPPY CAMPERS'... I need Block Buster!"... He sniffs the air. "Hot dogs!?!"

Mike's POV.

.. I'm sitting in a chair and can't get up... This feather is soo... So heavey.

Jade's POV (present)

"Uhuh anyway" she leaves the room with the supplies that Abby brought back from her 'journey'. "Ok lets see Scoties... Bounty... A fork.. Plastic.." she looks up and shakes her head before continuing ".. Umm baby food... Apple? What ever."
Abby enters the room. "Need help tieing him up?"
"Oh no of course I don't" she rolls her eyes.
"Okay see you soon then"
"WHAT I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"
Abby stops and shifts her eyes "I knew that."
Jade thinks to herself.. She has been one of my best friends for so long... But she's so slow! She chains Mike to the chair and force feeds him all of the baby food possible.

~*And so it begins.. In the begining*~

Jade's POV.

It was a cold night. A mysterious fog hung over California. (Hmm if you have read more stories I'm sure you can guess by now who this story is going to follow first... Let me give you a hint he has green eyes and his name is Billie Joe.. And he is a male... Or that's wat we are lead to believe).
Jade was walking down the street, the lights flickering as she walked by on her way to meet Abby at a bar. Well, let's describe Jade.. She was 16 and was very very tall, she had long brownish goldish hair that was recently cut *flips hair* she had brown eyes which she thought looked like her moms, but some say they were Anthony Kiedis's... *shivers*.
She walked past an alleyway and she heard a noise and turned around... No one was there.

Billie's POV.
'She was the most beautiful girl I have ever set my gorgious green eyes on' he thought, a bit to cocky if you ask me. So he followed her not really knowing what to do... Somehow this all went well until she turned around and he was forced to jump in a bum's lap...

Bum's POV
'He was the most beautiful creature close to a woman he has every set his gorgious grey moldy eyes on' he thought to himself, a bit to cocky in my opinion before he kissed him on the lips.

Billie's POV
He wasn't expecting that... He jumped up and screamed "Agghh!" he thought the bum would yell at him or something not try and make out with him! Then he saw the girl he was stalking turn around in amazement.

Jade's POV.
Well it's not every day you see a bum about the age of 78 trying to make out with a teenager she thought. Then she looked at his eyes... He was totally in distress and needed help. So she did what anyone would do... Took of her handy high heel shoe and smacked the bum in the eye with it before grabing this unknown person she had just rescued from probably a tragic rape and ran to the bar where Abby waited for her. She looked back at the boy and asked"And what is your name seeing as I just safed your life" she grined.
".. Heheh Billie" he managed to say before passing out from shock.
Jade lifted him to the seat next to Abby and ordered a beer. (Yes she is under aged! )

Abby's POV.

At this point Abby had a large amount of alchohol in her system and was almost falling of her chair. She was 16 aswell and had short brown hair a large amount of eyeliner making her look like a kitty with whiskers! (... Sometimes a racoon)she had brown eyes with weird green rings (which discribes why her sisters call her Tree Cookie... Don't ask) and she was very very skinny... But not to skinny like some people *shivers* Nichole Kiddman. She lazily looked at Jade "What the hell... It smells funny" and also colapsed unconcious on the floor.

Jade's POV.
"Oh shit"she felt a tap on her sholder.
"Why hello handsom" a green haired asshole said.
"Fuck off!" she turned around again to see another figure.. This one was skinny beyond all reason... As for the other one... Well let's just say he couldn't fit in grany panties anymore. (not in a sick way you sick fucks! )
"Hello I'm Tre Cool the love of your life!" Jade was shocked.
"What the hell!?!" Abby had woken up by now "Oh hello Tre hello Mike my little apricots!.. Take me the fuck home!" and with that she colapsed again.
In the end Jade took Billie under her wing to nurse him back to... Conciousness, Tre and Mike followed closely behind with Abby. Where they drove down a hill on a tobogan! Even though its very uncalled for and it is in the middle of August.. In California.
They all became friends because Tre wouldn't leave them alone and would run away and find them at Abby's apartment. But of course Billie and Jade had to take their friendship further *rollie pollie eyes* how wonderful for them.


~*How ever many years later until they where 33! Or around that age*~

Tre's POV.
"So mister Cool as you like to be called tell me what causes these troublesome dreams you have." said the shrink on the comfy leather chair across from Tre.
"Well when Jade, Abby, Billie, Mike, and me went to a party once we got really high and drunk and stuff..."

~*Flashback*~
Well Jade was running around the house with a pink bunny suit on dancing with Tre. Abby was getting drunk and hitting on some guy she found at the bar.. She can't remember his name but something to do with Red Hot Chilli Peppers and singing. Billie was climbing his way to the top of the house, and Mike was crushed against a wall dieing from the pressure of the fan being blown in his direction.
Then.. Tre stoped and stared wide-eyed at the tree in the back yard. He ran up to it and started to climb! Climb like he's never climbed before! Jade ran after him and so did Abby grabing Mike on the way out. After Tre came down Billie apeared on the top of the roof then said "I am a golden goose!" without any further ado he jumped into the pool. Then everyone joined.
Abby started to sing this song she just thought of "When your out with your friends in your new Mercades Benze, and your.. On drugs!" she slurred a bit and the only thing you could clearly make out was "WE ARE ALL ON DRUGS YEEAHHH! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT STUFF WOOO!"

~*Someone's POV. *~
"Wow incredible lyrics I think I'll use those one day!" he took out a note pad and joted it down and walked away." It will be perfect for my new band.. I know I'll call it Weezer!"


~*Flash back*~
*~ The present... 1 hour before*~

"We are all on drugs yeah-"blares out of the radio. "Ugh I hate this song!" Abby screams and turns off the radio.
"Oh I'll just change the station." Jade grabs the radio and turns the knob thing. Then she heres Brittany Spears her rage begins to rise, before she knows it she is unpluging the radio and throwing it out the window.
A loud scream was heard from outside they looked... There was a hobo on the road with the radio. Billie shivers as he remembers their last encounter. The hobo seems to remember too.. He winks, licks his lips and combs his hair back. Bille grabs a rope and ties the hobo to a tree.
"Billie no!" Mike screams as Billie hits the hobo over the head with a pan... With boiling bacon fat in it. (ooohhh buuurrnnnn)
"We better bring him in before the cops come and arrest us for... Abuse?" Jade wispers to every one. So every one grabed a limb and draged him to the house.

~*Three hours later*~

They where all sitting down drinking tea, except Mike who said he doesn't like tea it's fattening. Billie sat in that far corner with Jade, a far distance away from the hobo, curling up in a ball on the floor.
Jade attempted to make it better by singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Twinkie-" she was interupted by Billie." HOBO!"
"How I wonder what you are.. Up above the-" as she was just getting to the good part in the song the hobo woke up. Billie then pulled out a fake mustache as a disguise just as Tre came back down stairs this time in the queens outfit and a dog dressed as a milk maid. He glares at everyone "So I see you aren't alone JADE! Hey look a hobo!" Tre flops down beside the hobo instantly taking a liking to him (meow). "Tell us our futures futures!" Jade grabed Tre by the fluff of the colar to pull him back. He then proceeded to sit in Jade's lap and asks for her to tell the future.
All of a sudden Mike went to his little garden out back and did yoga. The hobo took out a camera and started filming it.
"Future damnit!" Tre exclaimed!
"FINE! Just stop touching my eyes with a stick!" Tre stops and the hobo starts to tell the future. "Well Billie, Mike and... Tre," the hobo winks at Billie once more." You will become filthy rich!"
"Richer then we already are!" Mike askes excitedly running into the house.
"Yes..." he looked down and started talking to himslef all they could figure out was "Tre... Jade and Abby... Abortion... Giraffes.. And crackers.
With that he raped Billie and ran out the door "ALL WILL BE REVEALED!" as he ran backwards and the falling into a sewer. Getting up and running away.
Billie sat in the corner for ages crying. Abby spoke up finally from the kitchen, "Billie, get the hell up we are going to Dairy Queen." Billie got up quickly running to the door with the keys in his mouth scratching at the door.
Abby reappeared from the kitchen opening the door and telling Jade where they are going... Even though she hated Billie she felt guilty of laughing and poking him as he was being raped. So this was a bit of a sorry.

Jade's POV
"Great... Alone with Tre and Mike... Just wonderful." she looked around "Mike'sin the bathroom or the closet I can't tell anymore.. You can never hear him! He's to damn light! Oh my God what was that noise!... Tre" she wimpers.
"Hello Sexy Bananna." he came down the stairs in a robe.
"Tre." she backs away grabing a tranquilizer while she's at it. He walked towards her then jumps and falls on her, "I HAVE YOU NOW LITTLE PICKLE!" just as he said that the door opened and Billie and Abby appeared Billie seemed happier I might add. She was never so happy to see them in her life!
Tre looked at them, they looked back." I've got to get ready for my appointment. Jade come pick me up at the cafe." he winked and ran out the door... Still wearing his robe.

~*In the shrinks office after the flash back*~

"Mr. Cool what does that have to do with anything!?!" the shrink exclaimed
"Well alot silly!" he looked stunned at the shrink "God I tell you my life and you don't even care! I lOVE jade but I love my dreams too!"
"What dreams are those?"
"Well... I've always had this dream of moving to Micheal Jacksons manor and um um well me and Mike are in a room alone together.. And hehehe things start to happen" he looks evily at the floor.
"Well that settles it!"
"What does!"
"Mr. Cool you are 99. 9% gay!"
"What I'm not gay silly!"
"Ok get out of my office you have to figure out what your going to do from here." the shrink explained as Tre ran out the door. He ran to the cafe where Jade was reading a menu even though she had already order her share of tea.

Jade's pov.

She saw a fimilair figure run into the cafe... What do you know.. It was Tre. He grabed her and shook her very violently. She was so confused she spilt coffee all over him then he was rolling on the floor screaming "It burns it burns!"
"Tre what the hell happened to you?" Tre then began to tell her the whole story over again including the hobo thing. Then finally getting to the point... He was gay! Jade didn't look to surprised and was holding back her idiotic snorts and giggles.

Billie's pov.

"Don't think about eating don't think about eating ah I thought of eating!" Mike slaped himself across the face a couple times. Billie just looked across the kitchen table at him taking a nother sip of root beer.
"You okay Mike?" he asks unsure weather th was a good thing to ask. Mike looked up from the crumb next to him.
"Fine just fine!" he ran into the hall way up the stairs and into his room/closet.
"Odd"

Abby's pov.

She walked into the kitchen." What the fuck? Where the hell is my Dr. Pepper?!?"
"Eeww Dr. Pepper nasty!" Billie exlaimed. Abby and Billie stared at each other for a couple minutes before the phone distracted them. She picked it up "Hello?"
"Hello this is Scotia Bank calling please hold."
"God damnit!" she hung up the phone. Another ring comes from the phone she answers it again "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?!?!" she yelled into the phone.
"Hello if this is a bad time I'll call back."
"Huh? Oh no sorry!"
"Okay.. Well hi, anyway Tre just found out he is gay." Jade on the other line giggles.
"Heheheh idiot!" Abby rolls on the floor laughing. She hears Tre in the background "It's not that funny!"
"Tre just, just shut up!" Jade yells to him.
"Ok well we'll talk later on when you get home."

Tre's pov.

He watched as a guy walks by thinking to himself 'he's pretty cute... What?!? No! ' He slaps himself then suddenly falls on the floor unable to get up. Like a frightened bunny.

Jade's pov.

'He fell on the floor and hasn't moved for an hour I guess I should help him after this coffee' she thinks to herself.

Abby's pov.

Jade walked in the door Tre on her back not really moving. She sat him on a chair." I think he may be in a state of shock." Jade says.
"Should we feed him it's pretty late and he hasn't had his crumpets and tea for a few hours."
"Yup probably.. Hopefully Mike doesn't see this... What is wrong with Mike anyway?" Jade asks.
"I have no idea but we should help Tre right now." she got out the dog and baby food. They shoved the food down his throat, then Mike walked in the room they stoped to look at him. He just looked disgusted and said "What is wrong with you!?!" he fell on the floor coughing up hair.
At that point they new there was something very wrong with him. They grabed him trying to be very careful they didn't brake his brittle bones.

Mike's pov.
'My God what's going on here? They have tied me to the bed I can't get up aghhh! ' Jade and Abby walked into the room.
"Mike you need to tell us whats wrong."
"Never!" he hissed.
They left the room finally then he felt a presents, he looked up to be face to face with the most scariest sight in the world! Tre!
"So they told me you have some problems... Tell Uncil Tre he'll make it better." he huged Mike 'suductively'. After a few minutes he gave in and told him... He was anorexic. Tre appeared shocked and ran out of the room leaving Mike by himself with Tre's ducky.

Jade's pov.

Tre ran down the stairs and grabed her by the arm pulling her up the stairs to his bathroom turning on the tap and putting all the bubble bath in that he could fined.
"Tre what happened?" she asked as he climbed into the bathtub.
"Mike's anorexic!" she wasn't surprised but still that was alot to take in in one day.
"Wait why did you take me to the bathroom to tell me this?" she asked
"I um..." Tre started to say when she ran out the door to the kitchen where Billie and Abby where slaping each other. Oh God! 'Mike is anorexic, Tre's gay and in the bathtub.. An unlikely occurrence and Billie and Abby are starting to get violent in their arguments. ' she thought'What more could I ask for'. She grabed Abby telling her about Mike's problem and pushed her into Mike's room.

Tre's pov.
"She'll come around." he snickers "She'll come around."

Billie's pov.

Jade took him into the living room where she sat down on the couch, and she asked " Why were you just slapping Abby"
"Ummm becaue she took my butter..."
"... Oh sweet mother of God..."
''... Yeah"
Then she sat in his lap and kissed him, just then Tre came down and started watching.

Tre's pov
Grrrr! She's MY Little Pickle! No not Billies! I told her the day we met I was her love of her life!... Not Billie's. Stupid hobo... Billie should date the hobo.. *laughs outloud to himself* Jade and Billie stopped and looked at him.
"Your MY Pickle!" he then ran up the stairs in a pink towel and yelled "SHE'LL COME AROUND!"

Billie's pov.

... That was weird... Did he call her his Pickle?... Isn't he gay?... Weird... Stupid hobo... And stupid Abby... She took out a peice of my new blue hair... Which Jade asked if she could dye... Very bad job... But oh well.. It maches my eyes... *laughs oyutloud*...

Jade's pov

What the hell?... Tre laughes out loud at nothing... Then Billie did... Since when did we own pink towels?... *shivers*.. I wonder how Mike is, stupid anorexic man-whore!

Mike's pov.
... The walls... Are slowly caving in... Why is there an angel and a devil on my shoulder?... Angels telling me to eat! Grr! *hits angel*.. The devil says "Don't eat you peice of shit!" Grr, he's right! *laughs outloud*.. Abby's entering my cave.. *bears teeth*.


Abby's pov.

My god... He just laughed out loud... Why's there an angel on the floor? Well, I'm goin to have to feed him!.. He's soo pail!

~*That night*~
Abby's pov.
I had just gotten out of the shower(I know we switched to first person shut up! ). I started to dry of when I slipped and fell on the floor unconcious. In my dream I saw Ludacris on a fluffy pink cloud smoking a pipe... Probably with weed in it. He told me to get up and I jumped up of the floor ran into Tre's room where I found him with Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Micheal Jackson, and Lloyd Banks smoking some pot... Great.

Tre's pov.
"What the hell I'm buisy!" I yelled at Abby who had interupted our game of truth or dare. Oh well she has left now. Hehehe. Hehe now Jade's here. "Hello Jade... Coming to join us?" I pulled my most seductive face ever! And she backed away.. Oohhh she'll come around. I'll just stalk her till she does.

Jade's pov.

"Ok Tre I'm going to have a bath... Do not come in ok?" he just looked at me evily and replied "Ok." I walked out of his room into mine.

Tre's pov.
Hehe I had my fingers crossed. Wait why are things going dark ooohh I feel dizzy.

Ludacris's pov.

"Yeah baby yeahhhh!" I love making people pass out hahaha!

Jade's pov.

Well all I will tell you is that Billie and me had a wonderful night!

Billie's pov.

Yup great night *snoorrrzzzzee*
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