Mystical Burns, chapter 1

Once upon a time there was this friend of. His name is Jesse. He is a Green Day fan as am I. Although he has hit puberty more than anyone in our grade 9 class. Don't get me wrong, I mean I have a goat tee coming in. But it's in peach fuzz. Anyway. He has grown some rather thick sideburns, which have inherated him the name "Mr. Burns". Some times we wonder if the sideburns have magical powers. Some times we tease. In which the only response we get is him telling us to go wash our upper lips. Men want his sideburns, and women want to make mad monkey love to his sideburns. It is quite a mystical thing. When people sleep, They dream about his sideburns. When he shaves them off, it's like waiting in line to a Green Day concert and then having Green Day cancel. Although we are not sad for long, oh no sir not one bit. In one weeks time, they are back and in full bloom. This may have really nothing to do with Green day, but this is too good a story to pass up.