Feelings And Scars Are Permanent (Sequel to Why Do Bad Things Always Happen To Us?), chapter 13

"Armstrong. McKinley. Stop talking!" Mr. Peterson commanded. "I won't ask you again."

I rolled my eyes, saluting him. "Yes sir! I will not let you down." Then I whispered under my breath, "Dumb ass."

He shook his head, continuing with his lesson.

It was 3rd hour, Health. Not the most interesting class. Especially with Mr. Peterson teaching it.

"Why don't you two shut your mouths? Well, actually, Billie I don't mind. He's cute enough." Billie Joe and I turned around to hear Christa better. "But, Stephanie. How 'bout you shut up."

"How about you shut the fuck up?" I said real fast, turning around.

She just scoffed and laughed, mumbling something to her friend. Billie Joe, however, was a little dumbfounded. And I was no better.

"Wow," He started as he leaned in closer to me. "Christa just gave me a compliment. She's like, supposedly, one of the popular people. I thought people like me were invisible."

"Well, you are cute. Only so many idiots can be immune to that. I think she's the one who needs the compliment. Maybe a round of applause for the dumb bitch."

I shut my mouth real fast as Mr. Peterson slowly walked to my side of the room to shut me up. He could tell it was probably me talking, but didn't want to jump to another assumption.

"I'll tell yah one thing. Christa better shut her mouth before I shut it for her."

"Whoa, tiger, why so riled up?"

"Are you dense? She's flirting with you."

"So?"

"Sorry Billie, but no one, especially her, can do that. I'm not controlling. I just know that I'm not gonna let her fuck with you."

"She's not.. exactly."

"Look, she hates me. Of course she's gonna mess with you or flirt with you. She wants me to get jealous, then you to get pissed off, us to get in a fight, break up, and you two get together."

Billie opened his mouth to say something when I added, "Oh, and break your heart."

"Steph, it's fine. Well, I mean, you're thinking way too dramatically. None of that will happen. Except for the you getting jealous part."

I just forced a fake smile and sighed. Christa and I have never gotten along. When she talks shit about people, I think it's bullshit so I stick up for them. Especially if it's a friend of mine.

I held my breath, watching the clock, waiting the whole minute until the bell were to ring. After gathering my stuff together, the bell did soon finally ring. Billie Joe and I started to head toward his locker. We didn't have the next class together, but our lockers were near each other, his however, was closer.

"Great. I have Christa in my next hour," I sighed watching Billie look for his next hour's book. "Gonna have to deal with her bitchiness."

"I doubt it'll be that bad."

"This must be your first encounter with her."

"Uh, sorta..." He said getting cut off by Christa herself.

"Hey Billie. See yah in 5th hour."

"Why the hell are you even talking to me? Normally you don't."

"Well, I'm starting to notice how cute you are."

"Right," He said finding his book. "See yah later babe."

He bent over near me, leaving a kiss upon my cheek.

"Bye Billie," I said smiling.

I looked at Christa, smiling at her look of disgust.

"How he can fucking kiss you without puking is beyond me."

"Wow, like that's new. I mean, you are a dumb ass."

I walked passed her quickly, really not wanting to get sent to the office for arguing. She laughed and said something, but I did my best not to hear it. I sighed as I took a seat in my assigned chair. Luckily for me, Christ was in the back while I was in the front of the room.

"Okay class. Get out your homework and pass it to the front of the room," Mrs. Stevenson said, our English teacher.

I actually liked this class. English was a class I was always good at.

After getting my homework, and grabbing the papers from behind me, Mrs. Stevenson started with her lesson. But I was a little out of it since it was Monday. While I was staring at the window I heard Mrs. Stevenson repeating something over and over again. After a while, I realized it was my name.

"Stephanie? Hello?" She said.

I looked at her. "What? Oh."

"Glad to have you back. Are you feeling okay?"

"Hm? Oh yeah I'm fine. Just.. Mondays."

"Ah," She started turning to the chalkboard. "Now, if you open your books to page 114..."

I started spacing out again. But just paying enough attention to know what was going on. I was thinking about everything. About Christa, and how much I hated her. About how she apparently likes Billie now. About Billie. And this weekend. Just everything in general.

*

"Ah, thank God, lunch!" Tre said, sitting across from me. "I was starving."

He took a bite of his chicken sandwich, following a gulp of chocolate milk. I started laughing, wondering where Billie was. Mike sat down next to me, smiling.

"What?" I asked.

"What, what?" He asked, just as confused as me.

"Uh, okay. Hey, didn't you have last hour with Billie?" I asked, opening my milk.

"Yep."

"Why is he taking so long?"

"Hell if I know. Christa probably stopped him."

"What?" I said. "Say you're fucking joking."

"Oo, so you know about how she apparently 'likes' him now?"

"Don't remind me. She hates my guts. I'm guessing she's doing this to piss me off."

"Probably."

"She drives me crazy. Yah know? I mean, she probably doesn't even know how it feels to be in love."

"You really love Billie, dontcha?"

"I swear it. I do. I love him."

"You love who?" Billie asked, sitting down on the other side of me.

"Yooouu," I said with a smile.

He smiled back and said, "I love you too, Steph. Sorry I took forever."

We just nodded.

I looked at Tre, who was nearly done with all his food. While I started to eat my chicken sandwich, Mike sighed, bored with the fact that there was no conversation going.

"So," He started. "How was your guys' anniversary?"

Billie Joe and I looked at each other, smiling, and looking away.

"Uh," I said. "Good. Yeah."

"Yeah, it was," Billie added.

Tre laughed, "Did you guys fuck again?"

I looked up, throwing a green pepper at him. "Shut the fuck up! That's soo loud!"

Billie started cracking up, as well as Mike, and Tre of course. I just blushed and giggled a few times.

"Oh God, I am so embarrassed." I said. "Stop laughing Billie. That's so not funny."

"Actually, babe. It is." He said. "I mean, yeah it is embarrassing."

"That is just so weird," Mike said, after he finally stopped laughing. "I mean, Steph. You just seem too innocent for Billie. He's a fucking dirty minded pervert who's horny all the time."

"I'm sure you'd know this from experience, right Mikey?"

"Don't change the subject Steph. And I mean.. because I've called him and went in his room at really bad times."

"Ew, what do you mean?"

Now Billie was blushing. He looked away. "Shut up Mike, just.. continue with what you were saying about Steph."

"Okay, uh, where was I?"

"You were talking about basically how I'm always thinking about sex."

"Believe me, I've realized that." I said.

Mike started cracking up. "That's what I'm saying! You just.. seem a little innocent for that."

"Hello? Do you not remember at the movies? Him and I were making out. How does that make me innocent?"

"It doesn't. But.. having," He said, whispering a bit. ".. sex with Billie. Just doesn't seem like something you'd do."

"Well, whether or not it seems like I would doesn't really matter. Since, yeah, well I did."

"CONFESSION!" Tre screamed. "You two horny mothers!"

Everybody started laughing again.

"How is that a confession when we already told you what we did?" Billie asked.

"I don't know. But I just found it weird that she said it."

"Well," I began. "Mike was making it sound like.. I don't know."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to catch it from laughing so much. It got quiet and we looked at eachother. Billie laughed and it started again. I put my head on his shoulder, laughing my ass off.

"I think we should stop with this conversation."

"Lemme just say this!" Mike said. "Welcome to the dark side."

I took a bite of a green pepper, arching my eyebrow. "Wahtt?"

"Your innocence, is finally gone. So yeah, welcome to the dark side."

"When the fuck was I ever innocent?"

"That's what I wanna know too. Because I can tell yah, I found out the hard way. Like, date Steph. She's never been innocent." Billie added.

Tre and Mike looked at us worriedly.

"Okay, question. Was this your first sexual experience together?"

Billie looked at him weirdly. "What?"

"That statement.. just answer the question."

"I.. guess it depends on what you define as sexual."

"Is there something you're not telling us?" Tre asked.

"Uh," I said. "I don't think so."

"Well, what Billie said earlier made it sound like you have had other sexual times."

"Ohh," Billie said. "I understand what you're saying now."

"But, no." I said. "We've.. fooled around a bit. Or well, a lot. As you can probably tell because you've walked in on us."

"I swear to God!" Tre said. "Whenever we came over to Billie's house, there he was, on top of you."

"That did look really bad, didn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah." Mike added.

"Well, all we were doing was making out."

"And other things." Billie added taking a drink of his milk.

"What?" Mike said. "Did you feel each other up?" He laughed taking a bite of an apple.

Nobody said anything.

"Jesus you freaks!" Tre said.

"God, can we stop talking about us!" I said rubbing my forehead. "The stuff that Billie Joe and I do, well, that's our business. So can we stop? It's embarrassing!"

Tre and Mike were laughing. I just picked up my chicken sandwich, taking a few bites. This conversation was way too X rated. And even worse, it was X rated because of Billie and I.

"Wait, you didn't appose Steph! Whoa, your felt him up, too? Wow, I can't see you doing that."

I sighed, "Yeah... so? He had.. pants on and stuff. It's not like I stuck my hands down his pants and gave him a hand job. I guess while I'm at it I'll say that I have never given him head before either. No oral sex."

Tre, Billie, and Mike started laughing again. I just sighed, shaking my head.

"You sick freaks." I said.

"Like you even have room to say!" Tre said.

"Okay, you two are like wanting to know about the shit Billie Joe and I do. That's a little sick since we're you're friends, dontcha think?"

Mike and Tre nodded agreeing, but still with smirks on their faces.

Finally after we were all done eating, we headed into the hall, sitting against the lockers, waiting for the bell to ring. Since Billie Joe and I were sitting right next to each other, Billie placed his arm both on my leg and his. I giggled shaking my head. He bent down a bit, towards me ear.

"Not to be a perv or whatever, but all that talk about the shit you and I have done, well. It sorta turned me on."

I laughed nodding. "Don't feel bad.. I mean, it didn't do any better for me."

"Too bad we're at school." He said, faking a sigh.

"Okay, now you're being a perv."

"Sorry babe. It's a side-affect from being horny."

Shaking my head, I looked to the other side of me, seeing Tre and Mike. I smiled at them, looking down at my hand. I grabbed Billies, hiding it a bit so we wouldn't get in trouble by a teacher.

Showing affection was against the rules. Fucking bullshit.

Billie entwined our fingers, looking down the hall at some loud girls. I sighed, realizing one of them was Christa. Billie Joe lifted up our hands so that it was noticeable that we were holding hands.

Her and her posse were making their way down the hall. Of course, Christa noticed us.

"Mm, hey Billie." She said, then noticed me and our hands. "Ew, don't forget to bathe after touching that nasty whore."

Billie Joe frowned. "Don't fucking talk about her like that you bitch."

Christa just cleared her throat walking by. I used my leg to trip her a bit, in which she stumbled.

"Watch what you're doing! Don't make me kick your ass." She said.

I let go of Billie's hand, standing up. "You think I'm afraid of you? How about you try me?"

"You're lucky there are teachers around, otherwise you'd be sorry."

"Psh, come on. Admit it. You're fucking scared. You know you're gonna get your ass kicked."

"Not hardly."

"Right."

Billie Joe stood up, realizing I was getting real pissed.

Christa sighed, "Back off of me you stupid whore."

I bit my lip, pushing her. "I'm not a whore!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Or what? What the hell can you do to me?"

Christa pushed me back. This time though I shoved her.

"I'm warning you now Christa. Watch it."

I was going to end it there and walk away until she shoved me hard against a locker. Truthfully, I was a little shocked. But this time, I shoved her back harder, getting ready to punch her. Billie Joe grabbed my arm, pulling me away.

Mike and Tre had already got up telling Christa to fuck off.

"Next time, we might just let Steph fuck you up." Mike said.

"Yeah, let her do your dirty work."

"We're not pigs, Christa. We don't hit girls. Okay? Go be a fucking bitch somewhere else."

Billie Joe was pulling me towards the doors that lead to outside.

"Get off of me!" I said pulling free, going back to where Christa was.

Billie Joe grabbed my arm. "Move your ass now Steph! Go!"

He let go of me and I headed out the doors.

"I fucking hate her!" I yelled once outside. "You should've let me kick that bitch's ass!"

"Well, sorry. That would've been fucking stupid. You probably would've been suspended."

"I don't give a shit!"

"Too bad! I do!" He said, Tre and Mike finally coming outside.
I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"God I hate her so much." I whispered. "Sorry for yelling at you Billie."

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. But I wasn't going to let you get in major ass trouble, okay?"

"That's the only part about me that I get from my.. father. Fucking horrible anger."

"Hey," Tre said. "It's okay. We all get something we don't like. Look at me. I'm a horny fuck. Okay, I don't hate that. But.. you get the picture right?"

I laughed, "I get it. But," I said walking towards Billie. "Do you get your pervertness from Ollie?"

"Ew, shut up. I don't wanna fucking know."

"Well, you do have a lot of brother's and sister's."

"Steph, shut up! Please." He said covering his ears.

We heard the bell ring.

"Thank God! Saved by the bell." Billie said.

We all walked back inside and down the hall until we had to split. I hugged Tre and Mike good-bye and pretended as if I was just gonna say bye to Billie.

"Hell no!" He said grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him.

I giggled hugging Billie then kissing him on the lips. "Bye baby."

"Bye," He said back. "See yah later."

*

"Babe," Billie said. "What's the matter?"

"After that stupid fight with Christa it was like blood rushing to and from my head. Then the stupid teacher was yelling at our class. My head is pounding." I said.

"Well, be thankful school is over."

Billie pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around my back. I then wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my head on his shoulder.

"Aw," I heard Tre said as he walked towards us. "This would be a cute picture."

Billie Joe nodded, pulling me tighter against him. I smiled to myself, lifting my head up, still holding and being held by Billie.

"Where's Mike?" I asked.

"Dunno. He'll be here soon probably."

Billie was tapping lightly on my back with his fingers. I found it cute and smiled.

'God I love this boy.' I thought to myself.

I whispered into Billie Joe's ear. "I love you, Billie."

"I love you too, Steph."

I giggled, leaving a gentle kiss on his lips. I felt my heart flutter. I know that probably sounded cheesy, but.. Billie Joe made me so happy.

"Hey Tre," I asked after a moment. "What happened to that one girl?"

"Who?" He asked.

"From Gilman."

He thought for a moment. "Oh! Jen! Yeah, uh we've talked on the phone a few times."

"Are you like, going out with her?"

"Not really. Just kind of hanging out. But I think we might. We're really starting to become good friends."

I smiled. "Goddamn where's Mike?" I looked at Billie. "You're awfully quiet baby."

"Hm? Oh, I dunno."

I let my arms fall to my sides, Billie Joe still had his arms around me though. I then removed his arms.

"Just a sec, I need to crack my back." I said, twisting back and forth.

I then stretched as a yawn came over me. I sat on one of the steps in front of the school. Billie Joe sat next to me, placing his arm around my waist.

"Hey!" Mike said coming out of the front doors. "Sorry for taking forever. My locker was being a bitch."

I laughed as I stood up, taking Billie Joe's hand. After placing my book bag on my back, we all headed on our way to our house.

"Damn am I tired." I said yawning.

"Yeah," Billie said. "I know whatcha mean."

Tre giggled, "I'm not!"

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. Billie grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers. Again, I smiled.

"Man, it seems like after that stupid fight I had, things have been a lot better. Don't ask why."

Mike looked over at me, seeing me holding Billie's hand. He smiled.

*

"Mm," I hummed. "Finally home."

I walked into my room, placing my book bag and shoes in there. Then I walked into the kitchen where everyone else was at. I took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs.

"Hey Steph. Want a Popsicle?" Billie asked, getting one for Tre, Mike, and himself.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Yah sure? You didn't really eat at lunch."

"I ate!"

"You ate part of a sandwich and some pieces of green peppers."

"So? I had milk too."

He just chuckled, taking off the wrapper of his Popsicle. I just sat there, humming a bit.

"When's Ollie getting home?" I asked Billie.

"Oo, why? Gonna have a hot sex session before she gets here?" Tre asked.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. "No you sicko. I was just curious."

"Hm," Billie began, taking a seat in another chair. "Dunno. I'd say 4:15. That is if she gets off work on her regular shift."

"Righto."

"Hey Billie." Tre said. "Can I use your phone? I need to call my mom. Lately she gets pissed real easy if I don't call her when I'm at a friend's house."

"Sure."

Tre got up dialing the number, walking out of the room to hear better.

"Popsicles are the shit man." Billie said.

Mike and I laughed, giving Billie an odd look. "Drugs?" Mike asked.

"Nah. More like the sugar from the Popsicle."

"Well, sugar will do it."

I nodded in agreement.

"Damn," Tre said walking into the room. "My mom's making me go home."

"How come?" I asked.

"Cuz I called a teacher a male prostitute and got a detention."

I started laughing. "Wow."

"Yep." He said grabbing his shit. "So I'll see y'all later."

We all said bye and moved into the living room. I sat next to Billie on the couch, Mike sitting in a recliner.

"I made up this new cool bass chord. We should have band practice after school tomorrow at like, my house or something and then we can test it out."

"Yeah, okay." Billie said.

"Dody do." I said. "So why were you and Tre so damn curious earlier about.. Billie Joe and I?"

Mike laughed a bit. "I don't know. It's just funny I think."

"Why?"

"Because.. you're 15 year olds having sex."

"Shh!" Billie said. "Don't say that out loud in the house. If my mom walked in.. oh shit."

"Sorry. Well, yeah."

"What does age have to do with it?"

"I don't know! If I had a girlfriend and we were, yeah, wouldn't you find it funny?"

"I'd find it sick."

"Well, after the sickening part."

"Yeah," I said after a moment. "I guess. Especially since it's illegal until you're 16."

Billie Joe looked at me. "Are you serious? There's a law about that?"

"Yeah. It's suppose to stop like, having babies at a young age but like it works. I
mean, obviously it didn't."

Mike started laughing. "Man! With Billie? It's so.. ew."

"Well, I didn't think it was so ew. I thought it was more like ooo."

Mike laughed.

"What's so gross about doing that with me?" Billie asked.

"Hell, that's one of the reason's I did it with him." I said.

"Billie, you're my best friend. Yeah, it's nasty."

"God! Make me sound infested or something."

"I'm even surprised you were a virgin for so long." I added. "You've had other girlfriends, right?"

"Well, of course. Only two."

"Exactly! I mean.. Mike was right earlier. You're perverted. So how it even lasted this long is beyond me."

"Simple." Billie said. "I've always told myself 'Never unless I'm in love' and I never loved any of them. Just you."

"You're both perverted if you asked me." Mike said. "I mean, don't just put it on Billie."

"Yeah, I mean, you've fucking felt me up!" Billie added to make me more embarrassed.

"Shut up!"

"What, can't take it? You're just as perverted and horny as I am."

Mike grimaced again. "Dude's! Stop!"

"Then stop asking about you dumb ass!" I said.

*

"Sheesh," I started, as I lied down on the couch. "That was interesting."

"Yeah it was," Billie added. "Sit up for a sec."

I sat for a bit, Billie Joe sitting down, me laying my head on his lap. A smile played across my lips as Billie Joe ran his hand through my hair. He started to him one of his songs, I think, while I looked at the clock. Ollie could be here anytime.

"Listen for that door to open," I said. "I doubt Ollie would enjoy this picture."

Billie nodded, leaning down and kissing my forehead, then kissing my lips. I giggled, sitting up and moving to sit on Billie's lap. He kissed me again on the lips but I just lied my head on his neck, kissing it.

"Hmm," I hummed into his neck.

Billie Joe kissed my neck a few times. "I love you, Stephanie."

"I love you, too."

We kissed a few more times. It didn't really deepen. Basically, we were showing that we cared for each other. I actually liked this more at times. It was only a few kisses every few seconds. Just sweet innocent kisses. And Billie left a few on my neck and my cheek.

I couldn't stop smiling. This really made my day. Being with Billie. Spending my time holding him, kissing him, laughing with him. It was all really great.

"Mmm I love this," Billie said.

"So do I. I was just thinking that in fact."

I smiled, giving Billie a long passionate kiss. That's when we heard a car door slam. I hurridley pulled away from the kiss, moving to the recliner, turning on the TV. I gave Billie a sympathetic smile holding my breath to listen for anything else.

"Did you hear that?" I asked after a moment.

"I think I may have heard something."

That's when Ollie appeared in the door way with two root beer floats in her hands. She was smiling.

"I got you two root beer floats. But I have groceries in the trunk. Can you two help?" She asked.

We both nodded, grabbing out float. Ollie headed back outside. I smiled mischievously, putting some vanilla ice cream on my finger.

"I'm sorry, Billie. I have to," I said wiping the ice cream on his neck.

"What the-" He started but was cut off by me licking the ice cream off his neck.
"Holy shit" He added, letting out a slight, low moan.

I giggled, putting my float on a coaster. "Sorry. I'm such a tease." I walked out of the house to help Ollie with the groceries.

Billie Joe smiled a mischievous grin. He knew he was gonna get me back for that. And so did I. It was fun being naughty.
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