This Love Drives Me Into Madness, chapter 19

*Erin's P. O. V. *

I sat there with my arm around Briana. She wouldn't quit whimpering, crying... drinking. I couldn't stop her, either. I kept asking her what happened, but she'd ignore me. And when I tried to take her drink away, I'd get smacked. Right in the face.

She was scaring me. She just started on her seventh glass of Budweiser, and she already had five shots of vodka. I didn't want her getting alcohol poisoning. So, I kept a close eye on her. Bri was bugged 'cause I wouldn't go away, but I couldn't help it. Every once in awhile, I'd get up and snatch myself a can of Pepsi. I wanted to stay sober for her. Incase she needed me.

She's gonna have a massive headache tomorrow, I thought. We're out of pain killers. I better hurry up and run to the store.

I stood up from my place next to Bri. "You, stay here. I'm running out for a second."

"I ish nut gone no weres," she slurred, angrily.

I sighed before going upstairs. I grabbed my jacket that was hanging by the door. Adie caught me while coming out of the kitchen.

"Where are you goin'?"

I went up to her. "I need to get some Aspirin or something. Bri's gonna have a killer headache tomorrow, and we're out. And can you do me a favor?"

Adrienne eyed me, "What's that, hun?"

"Watch Briana for me. She's not doin' too well," I said.

"Will do," she smiled.

"Okay," I grinned back. "I'll be back in a few."

I walked out the front door and into my car. I drove down to the local drug store and picked up some Tylenol. After paying for it at the counter, I ran out to the car and went home. I made it home and stepped inside. I threw my jacket on the couch, noticing how empty the upstairs was.

I stuffed the small package of pills in the storage closet. As I was shutting the door, I noticed Tre hurrying up from the basement and over to me. His eyes were wide in fright.

Grabbing my shoulders, he spoke loud and fast, "Briana isn't well! No one knows what's going on! She just spit up a load of blood and I think she's hallucinating!"

I started to panic. I knew this would happen. And before I realized it, I was down in the basement, watching Bri waltzing around, talking about her youth years. She was making a fool of herself.

"Chyah... I'da shlit mah wristsh, in fallz in lurv wit' one dud allz tha tim."

"BRIANA!" I screamed. Everyone turned to look at me. "What the FUCK are you lookin' at?! Go somewhere else!" They all scattered away. Tre stayed.

We both went over to her as she dropped to the floor. Bri had passed out. I picked her up under the arms.

"Here. Lemme' help--" Tre went to kneel down.

"No, Tre. Just tell everyone the party's over. It's late, anyway," I stopped him.

"Alright," he shrugged.

**

It was getting close to three in the morning. I had just finished getting Briana into bed, and Tre was dismissing the last of the party-comers. It had been a long night. If only it ended the way Bri and I planned... But at least it was over. All the hysteria from the passed house had driven me insane.

I yawned as I came downstairs in my red, plaid pajama bottoms and black tank-top. I was becoming extremely tired. I couldn't help myself but lean against the kitchen island and groan.

Tre sighed, "That's the last of 'em. Oh, and Casey left her number on the fridge."

"Alright," I yawned again.

He walked over to the other side of the island and also leaned against it. "Well, this was a night full of surprises."

"Yup... It sucked, too." I stated.

Silence had begun to fill the void between us. But it was broken only seconds later.

"Welp, I better go," Tre sped around on his heel and grabbed his jacket. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow or something."

He went to open the door when I stopped him. "You know... You can stay here... If you want." He turned around and looked at me. "I mean... It's kind of pointless of leaving... 'Cause it's getting closer to the morning and--"

Tre laughed lightly, "Just admit it, you want me to stay."

I smiled awkwardly. "I... Want you to stay."

He threw his jacket back on the coat rack and came over to where I was standing. Kidding my forehead, he draped his arm over my shoulders and we walked over to the couch in the living room. I took a big blacket off the floor as Tre turned on the television. Surprisingly, he didn't change it to Comedy Central, but to HBO, where some horror was playing.

We laid down on the couch with the blanket covering our bodies. His arm was wrapped around my waist as we watched the movie. Both of us slowly falling asleep...

**

*May 29, 2006*

*Briana's P. O. V. *

Our self-titled CD had been out for exactly a month now. It sold almost one-thousand copies in each state and country so far. This now meant touring as an opening band for Green Day for a few months before starting a tour of our own. It was exciting and scary at the same time. I knew it would be fun, but something inside of me kept saying something bad was going to happen. And I believed it.

Mike would be around, and that would cause quite a bit of commotion. We weren't on good terms, which was very nerve-wrecking. But I guess we could get along, if we tried.

To top it all off, Erin had been acting very strange. She had barely even talked to anyone the passed couple of weeks. She never steps out of her room, either. I've tried talking to her, but she'd only tell me to leave her alone. She was quite depressed for a twenty-seven year old. Hopefully, she'd feel better soon...

*Two Weeks Prior*

*Erin's P. O. V. *

I let myself loose for the night. I wanted to hang out alone for a bit. Maybe have a couple drinks at the local club, walk the streets. Just have supervision-free fun. And I sure as Hell got it.

I stopped by a nice, little bar in town and downed three shots of liquor. I worked on my bottle of Miller Light, feeling just a bit tipsy. I paid for my second bottle before stumbling out the door, and running into a very familiar face.

"Hey, Ian," I smiled.

"Heyy," he grinned back. "I see you're out having fun."

I took a swig of my beer, "Yup!"

"So, how's your day goin'?" Ian asked as we began to walk together.

"It's been good," I said. "Hows about your's?"

"Good, good."

We had come up to an alley between two apartments. It was dark, but light enough so you could see.

"Hey, I wanna show you something," I an dragged me into the alley.

"Huh... What?"

I dropped my bottle as I was pushed against the brick wall. Ian held onto my sides, and looked me straight in the eye, before pressing his lips against mine and holding them there for much longer than a second. The beer had obviously gotten to me, because I didn't stop him. I was too stupid to pull away. But he had me locked. And for what seemed like hours, we stood there. Kissing.

I had arrived home around midnight, maybe later. I was crying my eyes out. I knew it wasn't the alcohol that kept me in Ian's hands, but it was my-dumbass-self. I thought of myself as an idiot, a whore. A cheater. I didn't want anyone to find out. And I hoped it wouldn't happen again. I can keep secrets. And Ian can, too, right?

I stumbled into my room, locking the door. Going over to my sketch pad, I grabbed my little hand-held pencil sharpener that was on top of it, and a screwdriver from inside my night table. I quickly unscrewed the little razor from the sharpener and held it tight in my hand. I stared at it. And hoping no one would find out, I did something that I hadn't done in over fifteen years...

**

*June 12, 2006*

*Mike's P. O. V. *

Getting ready for tour had never been harder on all of us. Stress overwhelmed us with all the packing, the practicing, and the working out. But, the day we left finally came, and all of the preparation we did was worth it. We were all going to have fun, even if it meant being around someone that I wasn't so comfortable with.

I had just packed my bass into the back of the tour bus, and everyone else did the same. I was just standing around, waiting for them to finish loading up. Ian then came over and stood beside me.

"Ya' know... " he started, "Briana's a good kisser."

"That's wonderful," I said with a hint of envy.

"Oh, and her," Ian pointed at Erin. I hadn't noticed how paranoid she was, always looking around with wide eyes. "She's great."

"Erin?" my brow furrowed. How would he know?

"Yeah," he sighed happily. "It's awesome because I can switch between 'em and them not knowing. And I get a lot more from Erin. Like bed action."

"You aren't serious... "

"One-hundred percent," Ian smiled. "Taking advantage of girls has never been easier."

He walked into the tour bus with everyone else. I followed. So we all just had to wait on Billie, who was with Adrienne and the kids, saying his good byes.

The little cock-sucker is using them both...

**

*Erin's P. O. V. *

Laying in the top bunk of one of the beds, I isolated myself from everyone. Being alone was the only way to shed some much needed tears. Tre and Bri tried to talk to me, but I only shooed them away. And if one more person tried to talk me into saying something, I was going to crack. And guess who just happened to lay down next to me?

Mike.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"I wanted to know what was wrong... "

"Everything's wrong, Mike," I said asa silent tear escaped my eye.

'"Can you be more specific? Please? I mean, I wanna help... " he trailed off.

"Everyone wants to help," I stated. "But no one will understand... "

"You've gotta tell me, Erin." Mike pleaded. "Loads of stress will be lifted off your chest if you do."

"Go away, Mike." I commanded.

"Please talk to me... "

"Go. Away." I whispered, becoming very impatient.

"Erin, please. I can understand. You need to tell me," he begged.

And that was it. I cracked. "And Briana could understand! But you didn't give her a chance, now did you Mike?!" I turned onto my other side and hissed. "No. You didn't. So why should I?!" I kept my voice at a whisper as I sat up. Mike did the same. "Why should I let you know about what Ian and I did only week ago?! --"

"You didn't," Mike gaped.

"No!" I hissed again. "We never did! I'm still a virgin! Are you crazy?!" My arms slightly flailed. "See? This is why I don't want to tell anyone anything!"

Apparently, Mike saw the gashes in my forearm. His eyes went wide in fear as he grabbed my body part with the cuts on it. Pulling at me, Mike examined them.

He gazed up at me. "Y-you aren't doing this to your-yourself again, a-are you?"

"No!" I lied as tears began to build up in my eyes. And I couldn't help it... I had to let them loose. The salty droplets of water stung my green eyes as they came out harder. I leaned against Mike as I tried to breathe. "Yes... "

He embraced my shaky body as I cried into his shirt. We sat there as I sobbed heavily, and surprisingly, no one else heard. Which I was glad for. Mike kept telling me to calm down, and that everything would be alright. But nothing would be alright. Nothing.

"It-it just happened so fast... " I began to explain. "I went out to have a-a few drinks... And I ran into I-Ian... "

"Mhm... " Mike hummed, still hugging me.

"And-and... He took me to the al-alley," I sniffed, continuing the story. "Before I e-even knew it... I was up against the wall... And we were practically all-all over each other... "

He still sat there, rocking me back and forth.

"I came home, and I felt like a whore, Mike," I stared at the wall. "I felt like a whore. A slut. A cheater. And... And I-I did this... " I traced over my cut up skin. "I-I didn't know what to do, Mike. It seemed like such a good idea. Just like when I-I was with a guy named Dekodda in seventh grade. And now, I can't stop. And I won't. B-because it's the only thing that makes me feel better... "

Mike looked down at me with worried eyes. Still not saying anything.

"Since that night... I-Ian hasn't said a word to me. And I feel used... "

"That's because you were," he spoke up. "He used you for his own make-out buddy. And he could've gotten a good fuck from you if he had the chance."

"Please don't tell anyone, Mike," I whispered. "Please."

"I-I won't, Erin." He stammered. "I won't."