Kiss the Demons out of my Dreams, chapter 20
*Carrie's POV*
I started wondering where Billie had gone. He was taking a long time. My mind started drifting towards other things. I had finally seen Billie Joe again. It was nice to see him, especially after all of those sleepless nights, wondering how he was, if he was okay, what he was thinking. He had changed. He was considerably thinner and paler, and his hair was a shocking blue. But Billie wasn't the only one who had changed. Months of lack of sleep had left me pale and shrunken. I had dyed my hair too. Anything to let me forget my past. But I could never forget. I rolled up the sleeves of my jacket and looked at the scars. Day after day, slashing at my skin, leaving dark red marks.
Endless hours of pain, pain that felt so good...
The door opened and Billie, Mike, and Tre walked in. I smiled at them, wanting only to jump up and hug them all. But the sparkle in Billie's eyes had left. They were pale and icy, as were Tre's and Mike's. Confused, I felt the smile drain from my face. "C'mon. We're going," Billie said. He didn't even look at me. I stood up and followed them out the door, confused and hurt. What had happened while I sat here? Billie wouldn't look at me, and whenever I caught Mike or Tre looking, they frowned. I just followed as they got into a limo. I got in after them, and we sped off. There was silence the entire ride. When we reached their hotel, I followed them up to their room and glanced around. It was great, and I felt a bit of the earlier happiness creep back in. "Carrie, we've only got three beds, so you can either sleep on the couch or bunk with one of us," Billie said flatly. Mike and Tre didn't bother offering their beds, they just went into their room, leaving me and Billie alone. I could tell he was angry about something, so I just whispered, "The couch," and watched as he shrugged and went into his own room. I lay down on the couch and started to cry. But this time it wasn't because I was away from Billie. It was because I was with him, and he didn't want me.
*Billie's POV*
I shut the door to my room, seeing Carrie's confused face. It hurt to see her look like that. I lay down on my bed, wanting more than anything to run out and pull her into bed with me. Why did it have to be so complicated?
I had been okay. I had gotten over her. But now that she was back, I wanted her, needed her. I shut my eyes, thinking of her out on the couch, alone. I was a jerk. How could I just leave her like that with no explanation or anything?
When I woke up, it was still dark, but just barely. I tried to sleep again, but I couldn't. Slowly, I crept across the room and slid open the door to the balcony. It was cold out there, and I shivered as I sat down on the chair. I stared up into the sky, wondering why Carrie had suddenly shown up in my life, now and then. How many times in the past months had I wished that I had never even met her, just so that I wouldn't feel so bad?
It could've been hours later, it could've been minutes when I broke out of my thoughts, hearing a door slide open. I turned around and saw Carrie standing there. I couldn't help it, I smiled tiredly. She smiled a little, hesitantly, and I grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. "Hey," I said. "Hey, Billie," she whispered. "Why are you sitting out here?" she asked. "Couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind," I answered. I pulled her around and sat her on my lap. She looked surprised. "Billie? What's up between us?" Carrie asked, snuggling up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, laying my head on her shoulder. "I'm really not sure," I said. "I'm so confused," she sighed. "Me too," I yawned. We sat in silence for a couple minutes before I said, "C'mon, Carrie. Let's go to bed." I stood up and led her to my bedroom. We lay down on my bed and I pulled her close, burying my face in her hair. "Night, Carrie," I whispered. She was already asleep.
I started wondering where Billie had gone. He was taking a long time. My mind started drifting towards other things. I had finally seen Billie Joe again. It was nice to see him, especially after all of those sleepless nights, wondering how he was, if he was okay, what he was thinking. He had changed. He was considerably thinner and paler, and his hair was a shocking blue. But Billie wasn't the only one who had changed. Months of lack of sleep had left me pale and shrunken. I had dyed my hair too. Anything to let me forget my past. But I could never forget. I rolled up the sleeves of my jacket and looked at the scars. Day after day, slashing at my skin, leaving dark red marks.
Endless hours of pain, pain that felt so good...
The door opened and Billie, Mike, and Tre walked in. I smiled at them, wanting only to jump up and hug them all. But the sparkle in Billie's eyes had left. They were pale and icy, as were Tre's and Mike's. Confused, I felt the smile drain from my face. "C'mon. We're going," Billie said. He didn't even look at me. I stood up and followed them out the door, confused and hurt. What had happened while I sat here? Billie wouldn't look at me, and whenever I caught Mike or Tre looking, they frowned. I just followed as they got into a limo. I got in after them, and we sped off. There was silence the entire ride. When we reached their hotel, I followed them up to their room and glanced around. It was great, and I felt a bit of the earlier happiness creep back in. "Carrie, we've only got three beds, so you can either sleep on the couch or bunk with one of us," Billie said flatly. Mike and Tre didn't bother offering their beds, they just went into their room, leaving me and Billie alone. I could tell he was angry about something, so I just whispered, "The couch," and watched as he shrugged and went into his own room. I lay down on the couch and started to cry. But this time it wasn't because I was away from Billie. It was because I was with him, and he didn't want me.
*Billie's POV*
I shut the door to my room, seeing Carrie's confused face. It hurt to see her look like that. I lay down on my bed, wanting more than anything to run out and pull her into bed with me. Why did it have to be so complicated?
I had been okay. I had gotten over her. But now that she was back, I wanted her, needed her. I shut my eyes, thinking of her out on the couch, alone. I was a jerk. How could I just leave her like that with no explanation or anything?
When I woke up, it was still dark, but just barely. I tried to sleep again, but I couldn't. Slowly, I crept across the room and slid open the door to the balcony. It was cold out there, and I shivered as I sat down on the chair. I stared up into the sky, wondering why Carrie had suddenly shown up in my life, now and then. How many times in the past months had I wished that I had never even met her, just so that I wouldn't feel so bad?
It could've been hours later, it could've been minutes when I broke out of my thoughts, hearing a door slide open. I turned around and saw Carrie standing there. I couldn't help it, I smiled tiredly. She smiled a little, hesitantly, and I grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. "Hey," I said. "Hey, Billie," she whispered. "Why are you sitting out here?" she asked. "Couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind," I answered. I pulled her around and sat her on my lap. She looked surprised. "Billie? What's up between us?" Carrie asked, snuggling up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, laying my head on her shoulder. "I'm really not sure," I said. "I'm so confused," she sighed. "Me too," I yawned. We sat in silence for a couple minutes before I said, "C'mon, Carrie. Let's go to bed." I stood up and led her to my bedroom. We lay down on my bed and I pulled her close, burying my face in her hair. "Night, Carrie," I whispered. She was already asleep.
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