And All the Shit You Put Me Through, chapter 12
Argh I can't take it anymore! Billie's determination to become 'best friends' again was driving me insane. He was spending every second he could with me, it was as if he didn't realize that building a brand new friendship was going to take time and I was going to need my space.
"Here we are, tomato soup!" I looked up as Billie re-entered the room carrying a tray. He set it down on the coffee table and resumed his spot next to me on the couch, I shifted uncomfortably. "You feeling better at all?" I shook my head. Billie pressed his palm against my forehead, "Well at least your fever is going down." I hadn't started the morning sick but I'd been so desperate to get out of school for some 'alone time', that I guess somehow I'd subconsciously brought on a fever. Unfortunately, Billie being the good samaritan he is, offered to stay home and look after me and Michelle being busy and unnaturally gullible thought it was a wonderful idea.
I could feel Billie's gaze on me so I leaned forward and picked up the bowl of soup, resting it on my lap. I stirred it a couple of times before putting a spoonful in my mouth. I gasped as the hot liquid touched my tongue. Startled, the bowl fell off my leg onto the floor spilling its contents all over the creamy coloured carpet
"Fuck!"
"Lauren, ssh, I'll get it." I watched Billie pick the bowl up, go into the kitchen and return with a damp cloth and start mopping up the soup. I could tell from looking at it that they would be a new stain tomorrow.
"Thanks... Billie." It felt weird, I never thought I'd thank him for anything, ever.
"It's cool, it was probably my fault. I should've warned you that it was hot or blown on it for you. Can I get you another blanket?"
"No, I'm alright... Thanks." There was that word again. I was lying anyway, I was fucking freezing, just being on waited on hand and foot by someone who had been so bad... It just seemed off. Plus I still couldn't get what he had said the other night out of my head, about how he'd only started hurting me because he liked me. I mean, what if he still did and he was trying to get close to me and what if... This was just another mind game and he hadn't changed at all?
"Billie! Lauren! I'm home!" I heard Ollie hanging up her jacket. I was still trying to remember why I wasn't feeling sick in my own house. "Oh there you two are," Ollie entered the room "what have you been up to all day, sitting in front of the TV no doubt, you know too much television and your eyes will pop out."
"Mom, you used to say that when I was 5 and even then I didn't believe it." I smiled, I remembered those days... Good times.
"And how are you Lauren? Feeling better?"
"I'm alright."
"Her fever's going down."
"I take it Billie Joe has been looking after you." I nodded. "Oh dear what happened here?" Ollie walked over to the new soup stain
"I'm sorry Ollie, I accidently spilled my soup."
"'Oh that's okay Lauren, you're sick that's a good enough excuse for me, this carpet is disgusting anyway. Billie are you going out tonight?" I felt the couch move as Billie jumped up
"Yeah! Shit I'm late, me and the guys were gonna have practice before the show."
"Billie, what have a told you about using that kind of language?"
"Sorry, look I have to go. Don't wait up!" With that he ran out of the room and out of the house. Me and Ollie waited in silence for him to come back in a second later, and sure enough he did "Forgot my guitar." He raced upstairs, 30 seconds later he came back down carrying a guitar case "Bye!"
"Billie." I heard a sigh as Billie came over and kissed Ollie on the cheek. "Have fun sweetie." Figuring it was okay for me to leave now as well I stood up and stretched my arms. "Now Lauren you sit right back down."
"What?"
"Your mom has gone to see your father to work out some kind of arrangement and she asked me to look after you so you're going to be spending a couple of nights here."
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"She said she didn't want you to freak out." I rolled my eyes, freak out? It was a natural reaction. "I'm going to go and start on dinner, anything in particular you want?"
"Just as long as it's not soup."
***
"About fucking time!" Mike stood up as I raced over to him.
"Sorry dude, I was looking after Lauren and lost track of the time." Mike nodded
"How are things going with her?"
"Good, I think, I mean as good as they can be... She's not crying and I'm not..." I trailed off not wanting to remind myself of all the things I'd done. I unzipped my guitar case and careful took out Blue "How long have we got until the place opens?"
"We have an half an hour to rehearse then the people are going to start coming in." I only just noticed Al, he was already sitting behind his drums.
"Okay good, uhh we're playing a normal set right?"
"We're playing the one we decided on when we first found out about the gig."
"Oh yeah." I shook my head, plugging the cord into to amp and then the guitar, I strummed it quickly to make sure it was in tune, it was as I knew it would be, I'd been playing it all morning.
"Bill I always meant to ask you," I looked over to Al "who are all these songs about? I mean they're obviously love songs but you don't seem to have a lover... Not any willing ones anyway."
"They're umm... They're not about anyone I just wrote 'em."
"Okay if you say so." I didn't want to give him the actual answer, mostly because I'd been telling myself that they weren't about her that I wasn't desperate to be with Lauren that it was probably just some other random girl at school.
At around 6 about a hundred people packed into the main Gilman area, we had 30 minutes before going on, we were going to be the first band. It was always a nerve-wracking experience who wants to be the first band and suck? Normally I was confident going on stage but ever since I'd stopped doing certain things I'd felt weak and vulnerable.
"Billie come on let's go!" I raced up onto the stage, smiling at the people cheering for me, for my band. I looked to Al to count us in
"1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!"
***
"Thanks Ollie, that was really good." I stood up and went to take my plate over to the sink as Ollie did the same
"You're welcome, I'm glad someone in this house likes it." I smiled at her, "It's 11," she sighed "Billie's supposed to be home, he has a curfew."
"He does?"
"Yeah, if he spends too much time at that punk club of his people tend to provide him with alcohol and that's never good. If he's not home soon I might send you out to get him."
"Okay." I closed my eyes and silently prayed for Billie to return home.
20 minutes went by and still no Billie.
"Lauren, I know it's late but could you please go and get him for me?"
"Sure." I got up from watching my movie and went to the front door.
As I walked into 924 Gilman Street I immediately felt the familiar energy coming of the crowd from the mosh pit, I could smell everyone's sweat and beer and smoke even though both those things were banned. When I first started not coming here I missed it so much, the atmosphere was awesome, but now when I was here I could feel people looking at me. Some of them I recognized, others I didn't I was already famous and not because I was in some killer band.
"Lauren!" I spun around to come face to face with John. "What are you doing here?"
"Ollie sent me to find Billie, is he still here?"
"Yup," I watched him drain the rest of what I'm guessing was beer out of a plastic cup
"Where?"
"Why are you so anxious to get to him? Don't you know that he still wants to hurt you, that the new nice guy thing is just an act?" I didn't want to believe it but I couldn't help myself
"What do you mean?"
"He just wants you to trust him more so that the next time he does it, it's an even bigger pleasure. But you know Lauren... I could help protect you, I could be your knight in shining armor." He placed his hand on my thigh pulling himself closer towards me, I stepped back, my eyes wide. Shaking my head, I went to leave but found my way blocked. I heard John laugh before he walked away.
***
"Hey girls."
"Hi Al, great show you guys put on."
"Aww well thanks." I looked at all the girls faces, they were so hot, they were perfect. "Hey, you see that girl over there," I said pointing to Lauren they all nodded "well, she's all pissy at Billie about something, she's trying to break up the band. Do you think there's anything you can do to stop her?" I smiled a little evily and the girls faces turn to fury
"Oh don't worry," the tallest one said "we'll sort her out."
"Excellent."
***
"Hey! Bitch!" I sighed as I faced 6 girls, all taller than me
"What did I do now?"
"Why the fuck would you want to break up Sweet Children?!"
"What I nev-" That was when I got the first punch. I fell onto the ground, I tried to stand but got kicked in the stomach. I cried out in pain
"Stupid. Whiny. Bitch!" I felt tears roll down my cheeks with every kick "Don't try and destroy something awesome because you're not with your boyfriend anymore." I got kicked in the face, then I blacked out.
***
"Hey, what's going on?"
"There's a bunch of chicks beating up some other chick." I smiled and pushed my way through the crowd to get a look at the action. What can I say, I'm a 16 year old guy, cat fights turn me on.
"Lauren!" I shoved the other girls out of the way and knelt down next to her checking for a pulse. "Shit!"
"Billie what are you doing? She's trying to break up the band!"
"What the fuck?! No she's not, move!" I picked up Lauren in my arms
"Come on Billie, I'll drive you guys back to your place." I looked over to a guy named Tre and nodded. I followed him out to his van.
"Do you want some help taking her up?"
"No, thanks Tre."
"Look after her." I didn't see any lights coming from the house, Mom must've gone to bed, I quietly opened the door struggling up the stairs. I took Lauren into my room and laid her down on the bed. She's so beautiful. I traced my finger down the left side of her face, when I took it back, I noticed there was blood on it. I noticed her t-shirt was slightly ripped. I carefully took it off her, looking around for one of my own to replace it with. I found a plain black one, when I turned back to put it on her I stopped. I couldn't draw my eyes away from how perfect her curves were, how she was slightly toned. I also saw all the bruises, some only just forming others that were made by me... My eyes traveled over her white lacy bra, up her neck and to her face, without thinking I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers.
***
Feeling something warm on my face, I slowly woke up and opened my eyes. Realizing what was going on I started struggling.
***
I could feel Lauren struggling beneath me but I couldn't bring myself to break off the kiss, so I held her down letting my tongue brush against her lips forcing it into her mouth, then she bit it.
"Here we are, tomato soup!" I looked up as Billie re-entered the room carrying a tray. He set it down on the coffee table and resumed his spot next to me on the couch, I shifted uncomfortably. "You feeling better at all?" I shook my head. Billie pressed his palm against my forehead, "Well at least your fever is going down." I hadn't started the morning sick but I'd been so desperate to get out of school for some 'alone time', that I guess somehow I'd subconsciously brought on a fever. Unfortunately, Billie being the good samaritan he is, offered to stay home and look after me and Michelle being busy and unnaturally gullible thought it was a wonderful idea.
I could feel Billie's gaze on me so I leaned forward and picked up the bowl of soup, resting it on my lap. I stirred it a couple of times before putting a spoonful in my mouth. I gasped as the hot liquid touched my tongue. Startled, the bowl fell off my leg onto the floor spilling its contents all over the creamy coloured carpet
"Fuck!"
"Lauren, ssh, I'll get it." I watched Billie pick the bowl up, go into the kitchen and return with a damp cloth and start mopping up the soup. I could tell from looking at it that they would be a new stain tomorrow.
"Thanks... Billie." It felt weird, I never thought I'd thank him for anything, ever.
"It's cool, it was probably my fault. I should've warned you that it was hot or blown on it for you. Can I get you another blanket?"
"No, I'm alright... Thanks." There was that word again. I was lying anyway, I was fucking freezing, just being on waited on hand and foot by someone who had been so bad... It just seemed off. Plus I still couldn't get what he had said the other night out of my head, about how he'd only started hurting me because he liked me. I mean, what if he still did and he was trying to get close to me and what if... This was just another mind game and he hadn't changed at all?
"Billie! Lauren! I'm home!" I heard Ollie hanging up her jacket. I was still trying to remember why I wasn't feeling sick in my own house. "Oh there you two are," Ollie entered the room "what have you been up to all day, sitting in front of the TV no doubt, you know too much television and your eyes will pop out."
"Mom, you used to say that when I was 5 and even then I didn't believe it." I smiled, I remembered those days... Good times.
"And how are you Lauren? Feeling better?"
"I'm alright."
"Her fever's going down."
"I take it Billie Joe has been looking after you." I nodded. "Oh dear what happened here?" Ollie walked over to the new soup stain
"I'm sorry Ollie, I accidently spilled my soup."
"'Oh that's okay Lauren, you're sick that's a good enough excuse for me, this carpet is disgusting anyway. Billie are you going out tonight?" I felt the couch move as Billie jumped up
"Yeah! Shit I'm late, me and the guys were gonna have practice before the show."
"Billie, what have a told you about using that kind of language?"
"Sorry, look I have to go. Don't wait up!" With that he ran out of the room and out of the house. Me and Ollie waited in silence for him to come back in a second later, and sure enough he did "Forgot my guitar." He raced upstairs, 30 seconds later he came back down carrying a guitar case "Bye!"
"Billie." I heard a sigh as Billie came over and kissed Ollie on the cheek. "Have fun sweetie." Figuring it was okay for me to leave now as well I stood up and stretched my arms. "Now Lauren you sit right back down."
"What?"
"Your mom has gone to see your father to work out some kind of arrangement and she asked me to look after you so you're going to be spending a couple of nights here."
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"She said she didn't want you to freak out." I rolled my eyes, freak out? It was a natural reaction. "I'm going to go and start on dinner, anything in particular you want?"
"Just as long as it's not soup."
***
"About fucking time!" Mike stood up as I raced over to him.
"Sorry dude, I was looking after Lauren and lost track of the time." Mike nodded
"How are things going with her?"
"Good, I think, I mean as good as they can be... She's not crying and I'm not..." I trailed off not wanting to remind myself of all the things I'd done. I unzipped my guitar case and careful took out Blue "How long have we got until the place opens?"
"We have an half an hour to rehearse then the people are going to start coming in." I only just noticed Al, he was already sitting behind his drums.
"Okay good, uhh we're playing a normal set right?"
"We're playing the one we decided on when we first found out about the gig."
"Oh yeah." I shook my head, plugging the cord into to amp and then the guitar, I strummed it quickly to make sure it was in tune, it was as I knew it would be, I'd been playing it all morning.
"Bill I always meant to ask you," I looked over to Al "who are all these songs about? I mean they're obviously love songs but you don't seem to have a lover... Not any willing ones anyway."
"They're umm... They're not about anyone I just wrote 'em."
"Okay if you say so." I didn't want to give him the actual answer, mostly because I'd been telling myself that they weren't about her that I wasn't desperate to be with Lauren that it was probably just some other random girl at school.
At around 6 about a hundred people packed into the main Gilman area, we had 30 minutes before going on, we were going to be the first band. It was always a nerve-wracking experience who wants to be the first band and suck? Normally I was confident going on stage but ever since I'd stopped doing certain things I'd felt weak and vulnerable.
"Billie come on let's go!" I raced up onto the stage, smiling at the people cheering for me, for my band. I looked to Al to count us in
"1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!"
***
"Thanks Ollie, that was really good." I stood up and went to take my plate over to the sink as Ollie did the same
"You're welcome, I'm glad someone in this house likes it." I smiled at her, "It's 11," she sighed "Billie's supposed to be home, he has a curfew."
"He does?"
"Yeah, if he spends too much time at that punk club of his people tend to provide him with alcohol and that's never good. If he's not home soon I might send you out to get him."
"Okay." I closed my eyes and silently prayed for Billie to return home.
20 minutes went by and still no Billie.
"Lauren, I know it's late but could you please go and get him for me?"
"Sure." I got up from watching my movie and went to the front door.
As I walked into 924 Gilman Street I immediately felt the familiar energy coming of the crowd from the mosh pit, I could smell everyone's sweat and beer and smoke even though both those things were banned. When I first started not coming here I missed it so much, the atmosphere was awesome, but now when I was here I could feel people looking at me. Some of them I recognized, others I didn't I was already famous and not because I was in some killer band.
"Lauren!" I spun around to come face to face with John. "What are you doing here?"
"Ollie sent me to find Billie, is he still here?"
"Yup," I watched him drain the rest of what I'm guessing was beer out of a plastic cup
"Where?"
"Why are you so anxious to get to him? Don't you know that he still wants to hurt you, that the new nice guy thing is just an act?" I didn't want to believe it but I couldn't help myself
"What do you mean?"
"He just wants you to trust him more so that the next time he does it, it's an even bigger pleasure. But you know Lauren... I could help protect you, I could be your knight in shining armor." He placed his hand on my thigh pulling himself closer towards me, I stepped back, my eyes wide. Shaking my head, I went to leave but found my way blocked. I heard John laugh before he walked away.
***
"Hey girls."
"Hi Al, great show you guys put on."
"Aww well thanks." I looked at all the girls faces, they were so hot, they were perfect. "Hey, you see that girl over there," I said pointing to Lauren they all nodded "well, she's all pissy at Billie about something, she's trying to break up the band. Do you think there's anything you can do to stop her?" I smiled a little evily and the girls faces turn to fury
"Oh don't worry," the tallest one said "we'll sort her out."
"Excellent."
***
"Hey! Bitch!" I sighed as I faced 6 girls, all taller than me
"What did I do now?"
"Why the fuck would you want to break up Sweet Children?!"
"What I nev-" That was when I got the first punch. I fell onto the ground, I tried to stand but got kicked in the stomach. I cried out in pain
"Stupid. Whiny. Bitch!" I felt tears roll down my cheeks with every kick "Don't try and destroy something awesome because you're not with your boyfriend anymore." I got kicked in the face, then I blacked out.
***
"Hey, what's going on?"
"There's a bunch of chicks beating up some other chick." I smiled and pushed my way through the crowd to get a look at the action. What can I say, I'm a 16 year old guy, cat fights turn me on.
"Lauren!" I shoved the other girls out of the way and knelt down next to her checking for a pulse. "Shit!"
"Billie what are you doing? She's trying to break up the band!"
"What the fuck?! No she's not, move!" I picked up Lauren in my arms
"Come on Billie, I'll drive you guys back to your place." I looked over to a guy named Tre and nodded. I followed him out to his van.
"Do you want some help taking her up?"
"No, thanks Tre."
"Look after her." I didn't see any lights coming from the house, Mom must've gone to bed, I quietly opened the door struggling up the stairs. I took Lauren into my room and laid her down on the bed. She's so beautiful. I traced my finger down the left side of her face, when I took it back, I noticed there was blood on it. I noticed her t-shirt was slightly ripped. I carefully took it off her, looking around for one of my own to replace it with. I found a plain black one, when I turned back to put it on her I stopped. I couldn't draw my eyes away from how perfect her curves were, how she was slightly toned. I also saw all the bruises, some only just forming others that were made by me... My eyes traveled over her white lacy bra, up her neck and to her face, without thinking I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers.
***
Feeling something warm on my face, I slowly woke up and opened my eyes. Realizing what was going on I started struggling.
***
I could feel Lauren struggling beneath me but I couldn't bring myself to break off the kiss, so I held her down letting my tongue brush against her lips forcing it into her mouth, then she bit it.
