His Little Drummer Girl, chapter 37
Two years later...
Today it's my 16th birthday. Dad has invited everyone round to celebrate and they are all in the garden but I'm just taking a moment and have come to my room. I felt the urge to look through Mum's keepsake box, as it's been a while since I've looked through it.
A lot has happened since Mum died. I still miss her so much it hurts but I've got Dad, he is everything in the world to me. It's been a tough time for us both but I think we are finally coming through it. Sometimes I just have to go away and have a little cry and then I'm ok again. I hear Dad crying now and then but he doesn't realise that I know.
Dad took Mums death so bad that he was under the doctor's care for a while. Thank goodness for Uncle Mike and Billie Joe. Yes I call Mike Uncle Mike now but can't quite bring myself to call Billie Joe Uncle. Unfortunately my feelings for him have never changed but I've hidden them well. I get embarrassed to think the fuss I caused when Aunt Adi found out that I had a crush a few years back. Sometimes we laugh about it but inside my heart bleeds as I know I really love Billie Joe. I can't help it. He doesn't even realise how I feel.
Aunt Adi and I have this little thing where we call Dad, Billie Joe and Uncle Mike the three musketeers. They seem to be able to get through anything as long as they are together. Billie Joe and Uncle Mike really looked after Dad and me and took us under their wing. It was difficult for them, what with being in the limelight and all but they took care of us so well and kept us out of the press.
They kept Dad busy working on their new album in the studio and I know Dad even helped Billie Joe write a couple of the songs. I think Mum dying inspired him a little. Dad said he had so much emotion going on in his mind he found it helped to get it down on paper. He said there are a couple of songs written on the new album that are definitely about my Mum.
Dad will be going on tour with the band soon. Sometimes I'm going to be with him and sometimes I'll be staying with Aunt Adi or Aunt Jen. They have become good friends and I think Mum would be pleased about that.
Aunt Jen and Uncle Mike are married now. They are so happy. Sometimes I look at Dad when we are altogether and see the pain in his face. It's obvious that someone is missing and he feels it. Aunt Jen feels guilty that Mum and Dad didn't have much time together. She said if she had agreed to go with Uncle Mike in the first place Mum would have had longer with Dad. I tell her not to feel bad and that it's not her fault. There are too many if onlys...
I don't have any posters hanging up of Green Day in my room any more although I keep the one of Billie Joe rolled up under my bed. There's no need really when I've got the real thing here. My ambition now is to form a band and Dad's real pleased about it and will help me in any way. I have got loads of songs written in a folder, whether I'll get to use them or not in the future I'm not sure. I still love playing the drums so much and at the moment my idol is Meg White from the White Stripes. She's so cool and I long to be like her.
Charlie comes over regularly to visit. Dad pays for him to come over. I love Charlie so much but only as a friend. There were times when we nearly actually slept together but I couldn't quite bring myself to go ahead and do it. We are such good friends and tell each other everything. He has a girlfriend in England now - well I suppose he couldn't really wait for me forever.
He's nearly six feet tall and so cool. When he comes over all my friends swoon over him. He's real handsome and they love his English accent. He says I'm starting to sound American but no one else seems to think so. I've promised never to lose touch with Charlie, especially after what happened to Mum and Dad.
Since Mum died Dad has gone and had some more tattoos done. It's bizarre really as he finds them really painful but he said he just felt the need.
Unless you really know they are there you can't see them. On his hip he has had the three stars done in exactly the same place that Mum had hers. I've asked Dad if I can get the same tattoo done in a couple of years and he has agreed! I can't believe he said yes!
On the other wrist he has 'Sammi' in the same style as his 'Nice Ass!' one. On his chest he has this red rose and the stem is actually in the shape of an S. S for Sammi I suppose. He also wears Mums engagement ring around his neck on a small chain. No one can see it but he says he feels it and knows its there. Dad also insists that there is a bunch of red roses in the hall nearly all the time and next to that he has the photo of him and Mum from Milton Keynes. A florist comes every five days to change the flowers. I think it's a bit of an obsession now with Dad and if he sees one of the flowers has died he gets really angry.
Yesterday I watched the 'Bullet in a Bible' DVD. My God, that seems so long ago since we were there. I love watching it, not only for the music and seeing Dad play but if I watch carefully enough I can just see Mum at the edge of the stage standing near to Dad. She's smiling and really happy. This is how I remember her most. She had found Dad again.
Dads a little nervous about the tour but he needs to do it. He needs to channel his energies, its what he does best and its time to go on the road again and promote their new album. Apparently its awesome but I'm not allowed even a sneak preview, not even to know its name. Apparently deciding on a name was a difficult call and it took them ages to agree on something. They say their fans have been waiting long enough for this one to come out.
The door opened...
"Honey, you OK?" said Tre coming into the room.
"Dad! Yeah. Just looking through Mum's things. I'll be down in a minute."
"As long as you're OK. Actually I think its time I had a little look at what your Mom kept in her keepsake box don't you?" he said.
"Come on over" I said patting the side of the bed. Dad had always felt he couldn't look in the box. Obviously now he was ready to.
"What's this?" he asked picking up the cork with the dollar in it.
"Oh that. That's the cork from a magnum bottle. The night you met apparently you all drank from it and Mum kept the cork. Uncle Mike gave her the dollar and she kept it."
Dad held it.
There were loads of tickets in the box of the gigs they had been to together in 1992 and also the Milton Keynes tickets. There were a few photos of them together and the two booth photos. "Here" said Dad "I've got the matching pair to those" he went into his pocket and got out the matching booth photos to show me "but I'm not ready to put these in the box with the others yet" and he puts them straight back into his pocket.
"Look at this Dad" it's the card you sent her once in England with all those red roses. Tre read it out:
To the Extraordinary girl with the sexy undies!. A little birdie told me that you love red roses so I thought I'd send you some so that you can remember me. I really miss you and can't wait to see you again. Kiss my drumstick! All my love. Tre
We laughed. "What was she doing keeping all this?" said Tre
"Oh here's that silver ingot you gave her." I said showing Dad
"God I forgot about that" he said. He picked it up and read the inscription.
"To my extraordinary girl, I'll always love you"
There was a pack of photos with all sorts of pictures in, some of Milton Keynes weekend loads of us when we first moved into Dads house, Christmas and my birthday and those last few of the Paris trip. The whole crowd of us were there, happy and with smiles on our faces. We quietly looked through them, remembering.
"You know your Mom was a real special lady. Don't ever forget that. She told me once that she felt she wasn't good enough for me. How bizarre as I'd always felt that I wasn't good enough for her. I hated that she thought that," said Dad all misty eyed.
"Mum always wondered if the song 'Extraordinary Girl' was about her. Did she ever ask you about it?" I said to Dad
"No she never asked me" he replied. "But it was sort of about her. Billie Joe knew that I used to call her that when we were in England all those years ago and he remembered and sort of made up a song around the name."
"Cool". I said. "Mum would have loved to have known that"
"I know," said Dad. "There were so many things I wish I'd said but when you think you've got your whole life ahead together you think you have all the time in the world to say things."
"Dad, would you mind if I wore the ingot? I know it's Mums but do you think she'd mind? I promise I won't lose it."
"Of course I don't mind, I'm sure your Mum would have wanted it to be worn, especially by you". Dad picked up the ingot and placed it around my neck then kissed my nose.
"You OK blue eyes?" he said looking into them.
"Fine" I replied. "What about you Dad?" I asked
"You know what it's like. I'm fine one minute but not the next. At least we've got each other," he says.
Dad hugged me real tight then. I loved him so much. He held me close to him for ages and I think he was crying just a little. I remember Mum saying that she loved the smell of Dad. "He always smells so good" she used to say so often. As I hugged Dad I couldn't help remembering that. 'You're right Mum' I thought. 'Dad does always smell good'. As we hugged I look out into the garden and see Billie Joe looking up at the window. My stomach leaps as it always does when I look at him...
Tre hugged his daughter who he loved so very much and so reminded him of his Sammi. He still felt devastated at the loss but hid it most of the time because of Franky. He didn't know how he got by without her. It had been two years since she had gone but it still felt like yesterday. Two years of torture without her.
The tour was soon and he was glad of it as he could do with getting away. The fans had been waiting patiently for this album to come out. How were they going to follow the 'American Idiot' sensation? He was sure the fans would love the album though and they'd worked so hard at getting it right but all the guys were a little nervous this time. What if it all fell flat? Who cares, they just wanted to play their music to their fans.
Going on tour would take his mind of Sammi a little, but he knew she'd still be there with him. Each night he'd go and sit in the garden and gaze up at the stars and talk to her. Was he crazy still being in love with a dead woman? He didn't know. All he knew that he still loved his wife and missed her dreadfully and couldn't imagine being with anybody else. He could have given his Sammi everything she would ever have wished for but he couldn't give her the health she needed, but now there was Franky to think of. He was going to miss her on tour but he needed to do this and she knew that. She would join him sometimes but she still had studying to do. He squeezed her tight against him...
In the Garden...
Billie got out of the pool, soaking wet. "Where's Tre, Adi? Do you think he's OK?"
"I'm sure he's fine Billie, stop worrying so much" she said throwing over a large fluffy towel to him.
"Where is he then, he's been gone ages?"
"I believe he's just upstairs with 'His Little Drummer Girl'... " said Adi.
Billie Joe looked up at Franky's window. Their eyes connected...
*THE END*
Look out for the sequel 'Cherry Lips & Tattoos' xx
Today it's my 16th birthday. Dad has invited everyone round to celebrate and they are all in the garden but I'm just taking a moment and have come to my room. I felt the urge to look through Mum's keepsake box, as it's been a while since I've looked through it.
A lot has happened since Mum died. I still miss her so much it hurts but I've got Dad, he is everything in the world to me. It's been a tough time for us both but I think we are finally coming through it. Sometimes I just have to go away and have a little cry and then I'm ok again. I hear Dad crying now and then but he doesn't realise that I know.
Dad took Mums death so bad that he was under the doctor's care for a while. Thank goodness for Uncle Mike and Billie Joe. Yes I call Mike Uncle Mike now but can't quite bring myself to call Billie Joe Uncle. Unfortunately my feelings for him have never changed but I've hidden them well. I get embarrassed to think the fuss I caused when Aunt Adi found out that I had a crush a few years back. Sometimes we laugh about it but inside my heart bleeds as I know I really love Billie Joe. I can't help it. He doesn't even realise how I feel.
Aunt Adi and I have this little thing where we call Dad, Billie Joe and Uncle Mike the three musketeers. They seem to be able to get through anything as long as they are together. Billie Joe and Uncle Mike really looked after Dad and me and took us under their wing. It was difficult for them, what with being in the limelight and all but they took care of us so well and kept us out of the press.
They kept Dad busy working on their new album in the studio and I know Dad even helped Billie Joe write a couple of the songs. I think Mum dying inspired him a little. Dad said he had so much emotion going on in his mind he found it helped to get it down on paper. He said there are a couple of songs written on the new album that are definitely about my Mum.
Dad will be going on tour with the band soon. Sometimes I'm going to be with him and sometimes I'll be staying with Aunt Adi or Aunt Jen. They have become good friends and I think Mum would be pleased about that.
Aunt Jen and Uncle Mike are married now. They are so happy. Sometimes I look at Dad when we are altogether and see the pain in his face. It's obvious that someone is missing and he feels it. Aunt Jen feels guilty that Mum and Dad didn't have much time together. She said if she had agreed to go with Uncle Mike in the first place Mum would have had longer with Dad. I tell her not to feel bad and that it's not her fault. There are too many if onlys...
I don't have any posters hanging up of Green Day in my room any more although I keep the one of Billie Joe rolled up under my bed. There's no need really when I've got the real thing here. My ambition now is to form a band and Dad's real pleased about it and will help me in any way. I have got loads of songs written in a folder, whether I'll get to use them or not in the future I'm not sure. I still love playing the drums so much and at the moment my idol is Meg White from the White Stripes. She's so cool and I long to be like her.
Charlie comes over regularly to visit. Dad pays for him to come over. I love Charlie so much but only as a friend. There were times when we nearly actually slept together but I couldn't quite bring myself to go ahead and do it. We are such good friends and tell each other everything. He has a girlfriend in England now - well I suppose he couldn't really wait for me forever.
He's nearly six feet tall and so cool. When he comes over all my friends swoon over him. He's real handsome and they love his English accent. He says I'm starting to sound American but no one else seems to think so. I've promised never to lose touch with Charlie, especially after what happened to Mum and Dad.
Since Mum died Dad has gone and had some more tattoos done. It's bizarre really as he finds them really painful but he said he just felt the need.
Unless you really know they are there you can't see them. On his hip he has had the three stars done in exactly the same place that Mum had hers. I've asked Dad if I can get the same tattoo done in a couple of years and he has agreed! I can't believe he said yes!
On the other wrist he has 'Sammi' in the same style as his 'Nice Ass!' one. On his chest he has this red rose and the stem is actually in the shape of an S. S for Sammi I suppose. He also wears Mums engagement ring around his neck on a small chain. No one can see it but he says he feels it and knows its there. Dad also insists that there is a bunch of red roses in the hall nearly all the time and next to that he has the photo of him and Mum from Milton Keynes. A florist comes every five days to change the flowers. I think it's a bit of an obsession now with Dad and if he sees one of the flowers has died he gets really angry.
Yesterday I watched the 'Bullet in a Bible' DVD. My God, that seems so long ago since we were there. I love watching it, not only for the music and seeing Dad play but if I watch carefully enough I can just see Mum at the edge of the stage standing near to Dad. She's smiling and really happy. This is how I remember her most. She had found Dad again.
Dads a little nervous about the tour but he needs to do it. He needs to channel his energies, its what he does best and its time to go on the road again and promote their new album. Apparently its awesome but I'm not allowed even a sneak preview, not even to know its name. Apparently deciding on a name was a difficult call and it took them ages to agree on something. They say their fans have been waiting long enough for this one to come out.
The door opened...
"Honey, you OK?" said Tre coming into the room.
"Dad! Yeah. Just looking through Mum's things. I'll be down in a minute."
"As long as you're OK. Actually I think its time I had a little look at what your Mom kept in her keepsake box don't you?" he said.
"Come on over" I said patting the side of the bed. Dad had always felt he couldn't look in the box. Obviously now he was ready to.
"What's this?" he asked picking up the cork with the dollar in it.
"Oh that. That's the cork from a magnum bottle. The night you met apparently you all drank from it and Mum kept the cork. Uncle Mike gave her the dollar and she kept it."
Dad held it.
There were loads of tickets in the box of the gigs they had been to together in 1992 and also the Milton Keynes tickets. There were a few photos of them together and the two booth photos. "Here" said Dad "I've got the matching pair to those" he went into his pocket and got out the matching booth photos to show me "but I'm not ready to put these in the box with the others yet" and he puts them straight back into his pocket.
"Look at this Dad" it's the card you sent her once in England with all those red roses. Tre read it out:
To the Extraordinary girl with the sexy undies!. A little birdie told me that you love red roses so I thought I'd send you some so that you can remember me. I really miss you and can't wait to see you again. Kiss my drumstick! All my love. Tre
We laughed. "What was she doing keeping all this?" said Tre
"Oh here's that silver ingot you gave her." I said showing Dad
"God I forgot about that" he said. He picked it up and read the inscription.
"To my extraordinary girl, I'll always love you"
There was a pack of photos with all sorts of pictures in, some of Milton Keynes weekend loads of us when we first moved into Dads house, Christmas and my birthday and those last few of the Paris trip. The whole crowd of us were there, happy and with smiles on our faces. We quietly looked through them, remembering.
"You know your Mom was a real special lady. Don't ever forget that. She told me once that she felt she wasn't good enough for me. How bizarre as I'd always felt that I wasn't good enough for her. I hated that she thought that," said Dad all misty eyed.
"Mum always wondered if the song 'Extraordinary Girl' was about her. Did she ever ask you about it?" I said to Dad
"No she never asked me" he replied. "But it was sort of about her. Billie Joe knew that I used to call her that when we were in England all those years ago and he remembered and sort of made up a song around the name."
"Cool". I said. "Mum would have loved to have known that"
"I know," said Dad. "There were so many things I wish I'd said but when you think you've got your whole life ahead together you think you have all the time in the world to say things."
"Dad, would you mind if I wore the ingot? I know it's Mums but do you think she'd mind? I promise I won't lose it."
"Of course I don't mind, I'm sure your Mum would have wanted it to be worn, especially by you". Dad picked up the ingot and placed it around my neck then kissed my nose.
"You OK blue eyes?" he said looking into them.
"Fine" I replied. "What about you Dad?" I asked
"You know what it's like. I'm fine one minute but not the next. At least we've got each other," he says.
Dad hugged me real tight then. I loved him so much. He held me close to him for ages and I think he was crying just a little. I remember Mum saying that she loved the smell of Dad. "He always smells so good" she used to say so often. As I hugged Dad I couldn't help remembering that. 'You're right Mum' I thought. 'Dad does always smell good'. As we hugged I look out into the garden and see Billie Joe looking up at the window. My stomach leaps as it always does when I look at him...
Tre hugged his daughter who he loved so very much and so reminded him of his Sammi. He still felt devastated at the loss but hid it most of the time because of Franky. He didn't know how he got by without her. It had been two years since she had gone but it still felt like yesterday. Two years of torture without her.
The tour was soon and he was glad of it as he could do with getting away. The fans had been waiting patiently for this album to come out. How were they going to follow the 'American Idiot' sensation? He was sure the fans would love the album though and they'd worked so hard at getting it right but all the guys were a little nervous this time. What if it all fell flat? Who cares, they just wanted to play their music to their fans.
Going on tour would take his mind of Sammi a little, but he knew she'd still be there with him. Each night he'd go and sit in the garden and gaze up at the stars and talk to her. Was he crazy still being in love with a dead woman? He didn't know. All he knew that he still loved his wife and missed her dreadfully and couldn't imagine being with anybody else. He could have given his Sammi everything she would ever have wished for but he couldn't give her the health she needed, but now there was Franky to think of. He was going to miss her on tour but he needed to do this and she knew that. She would join him sometimes but she still had studying to do. He squeezed her tight against him...
In the Garden...
Billie got out of the pool, soaking wet. "Where's Tre, Adi? Do you think he's OK?"
"I'm sure he's fine Billie, stop worrying so much" she said throwing over a large fluffy towel to him.
"Where is he then, he's been gone ages?"
"I believe he's just upstairs with 'His Little Drummer Girl'... " said Adi.
Billie Joe looked up at Franky's window. Their eyes connected...
*THE END*
Look out for the sequel 'Cherry Lips & Tattoos' xx
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