This isn't right., chapter 1
"Amy, what's wrong?" my brother Joseph asked.
I was crying, and for some reason, I couldn't tell him. How do you tell your brother, the one person left in your life that you're dying?
"I have something so, important to tell you, and it might affect the rest of your life," I sobbed.
He just looked at me.
"I'm dying, Jo." I finally said. He started to laugh, but stopped as I looked at him in shock.
"You're serious?" he asked softly. I nod.
"I only found out today that I have cancer, in my lungs," I say and look into my beloved brothers deep brown eyes.
"But there is a cure for that."
"Yes, and they have scheduled me to get it in two months. I could very well be dead by then. They say I haven't had it long enough to be deadly. But I can feel it taking everything from me. That's why I haven't been able to breath properly, that's why I have been sick. Because we are so poor we have to have some time to get some money together for the treatment. That will take a while" I look down.
Tears rolled gently down my face. Making pathways through my makeup "All I ever wanted is for us to be together. And you're the only one in my life now. From the day mum and dad died, you have been there for me, as I have for you, and, I'm failing you," I take a deep breath. It hurts.
Joseph reached forward and tucked my black hair behind my ear and stroked my tear stained face, "You will never fail me, Amy. I love you."
I moved forward quickly and gave him a tight hug. This was my brother, my life, my everything. I always said I would die for him, but this isn't for him. I'm just failing him, dumping him here with only his friends, who don't treat him right in the first place.
"Jo, you have a date. Go on, go have fun," I push him away.
"What, I'll be thinking of you the whole time," he said.
"Oh, gross. You'll think of your sister when you're rooting some girl. Trust me Jo, just leave," I punch him on the arm.
He kicks me softly with his foot, leans over and kisses me on the head.
"Love you," he says. I watched him grab his keys and walk out the front door.
The phone rings. I jerk my head up from the table and wipe the drool from my face.
"Hello?" I say in a raspy voice. I pour myself a drink, "What time is it?"
"Hey girl. So, you know how you love all that punk shit?" my friend Josie said.
I smile, "Yeah, it's not shit. It's a lifestyle."
"Whatever. Anyway, down at the 3-4 clubs all these random punk shit bands are playing. I'm up for it if you wanna go." she said in her black American girl voice. I imagined her pursing her lips together and wrinkling her forehead.
"Why do you wanna go?" I ask.
"Uhh, hello. Free beer. Free root if I'm lucky. Oh, common girl. Let's go have fun. I'll pick you up in, like, half hour. It starts at 9. Bye girl," she hangs up.
I laugh and decide to get ready. If I'm going to die I might as well live while I'm still alive.
Half-hour later I answer my door. I look Josie up and down and laugh because she's trying to look punk.
"Shut up girl, it's how you dress," she snaps her fingers and points to my clothes. Ripped blue jeans, a Ramones shirt with a white button down shirt underneath and black all stars. My accessories include a black sweatband that says, "I can do better," and a few necklaces.
"Girl, I thought you were poor?"
"I am. Thanks for being subtle. I've had all my clothes in my house since I was 17, just before my parents died in September. Nothing in this house is new, and we use the money they left us for the bills and shit for the house and food. So, shut up," I look at her. She nods.
"Am, you wear too much black makeup."
I punch her in the arm "Common. Let's get this party started."
We walk into the well-packed club. 3-4 was the new club in town, and they were hitting it off pretty well.
"Ladies and everyone else," everybody was quiet and looked up at the man on stage leaning over the microphone, "Welcome to the 3-4's punk night. We will be having a large range of bands come up tonight and play for us so I want you all to be on your best behaviour. Have a great time people,"
We all cheered.
The first band absolutely sucked. There were 5 people in it and their lyrics said, "All I ever wanted was for us to be in love (in love) all I ever needed was to hold you up above (above) all I ever wanted was for your slow and tender kiss. Everything I wanted happened in a night like this." They got booed offstage.
They next band was called "my sweet horizon." I personally didn't enjoy it.
I walked to the bar and got a bottle of water. I didn't know if I could drink with my condition but water was fine. All of a sudden 3 men walked onto the stage.
I stared at them, and waited for there music to begin.
"I don't know you, but I think I hate you. You're the reason for my misery," the lead singer sang.
I got pulled into their music. It filled me with all of the lost emotions I haven't had for the past 2 years. I turned around to talk to Josie and saw her pashing a tall black man. I smiled and stared back at the band. The bass player was tall. He had bleached blonde hair spiked up.
The drummer was wearing some huge hippy sunglasses on his head and a pink bow tie. He was always pulling faces at his drums, but stayed completely focused in the music. He had bright green hair.
The lead singer was playing electric guitar. He had black hair and perfect skin. He was dancing around the stage by now.
They finished the song and the lead singer said into the microphone, "This was Green Day. Here you go," and he chucked a few CDs into the crowd.
I tried to reach one but I missed out.
"Dammit!" I yelled.
Green Day walked offstage and walked to the table right next to where I was. A few people asked for there autographs and they gave them to them. I walked over to the table they were at.
"Hi. My names Amy and I just wanted to say that you are the best band I have ever heard. I'm ashamed to say I've only heard of you tonight."
The bassist smiled, "Hey Amy. My names Mike."
"Yeah, and I'm Tre," the guy with the green hair said. I smiled and shook their hands.
The lead singer looked at me and I looked back. He smiled and I wanted to melt.
"I'm Billie Joe. And his name isn't really Tre. It's Frank," he said.
Tre hit him across the head, "Bitch."
They laughed.
"Did you come with a friend or someone?" Mike asked me.
"I did. But she is making out with someone, somewhere."
"Spend the night with us then. Hang with us. Do you play an instrument?" Tre asked me.
"Yeah. I can play guitar pretty well. I've only got an old acoustic but I can play electric too," I answer and blush that I don't have new things.
"How old are you?" Billie Joe asked me with a smile. That smile. The one that makes me melt.
"20. You?"
"We're all 22. Tre only just had his birthday 4 days ago," Mike said.
I sat down next to Tre and Billie Joe. This was a dream come true. I was talking to true musicians.
"So, how did you're band get together?" I ask them.
Tre tries to tell me the story but somehow the topic ends up on music.
"Music is a release. Listening to music, is feeling it. But to get to the real side of it, playing music like guitar or drums or, anything really even singing, is how you truly connect. I sit for hours singing and playing guitar because; I have nothing if I don't have music. Know what I mean?" I explain.
Billie Joe, Tre and Mike stare at me.
"That's exactly we feel," Mike smiles.
I lean against Billie Joe and feel him wrap his arm around me. I look at the large clock on the wall. 12.00am.
"All of these bands that have been up don't come even close to how you made me feel. I got completely captured in your music," I admitted.
"Really?" Tre asked.
I nod. "Hell yeah guys. Did we make you horny Amy?" he asked. Mike hit him over the back of the head.
"The truth is Amy, the way you just described music is exactly how we feel. You are one of us now. Sorry," Mike says.
I smile. 'One of them'.
"Sounds great," I say.
We talk for a few more hours and by 3.00am I am exhausted.
"I should go home," I tell them.
"Isn't your friend with some guy though?" Mike asks. I nod.
"I'll drive you home Amy," Billie says.
So with that, I got Mike and Tre's' numbers and told Josie I was going and got into Billie Joe's car.
We talked all the way to my house and when he pulled up at my driveway he told me to stay there. He jumped out of the car and ran over to my side, opened my door, unbuckled my seatbelt and put his hand out. I grabbed it and smiled.
"Thank you," I said in a posh voice. He laughed.
"You're funny. I like that in a girl. You're not fake or anything, you say exactly what you want and what you mean," Billie said with that smile.
He walked me up to my doorstep. I got his number and we stood staring at each other for a moment.
I felt a hand on my waist so I put my hand on his face. He leaned over and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes.
We broke and hugged. "I'll call you Amy. Bye," he said and got into his car. I waved as he drove away.
All of a sudden I remembered. I was dying.
I was crying, and for some reason, I couldn't tell him. How do you tell your brother, the one person left in your life that you're dying?
"I have something so, important to tell you, and it might affect the rest of your life," I sobbed.
He just looked at me.
"I'm dying, Jo." I finally said. He started to laugh, but stopped as I looked at him in shock.
"You're serious?" he asked softly. I nod.
"I only found out today that I have cancer, in my lungs," I say and look into my beloved brothers deep brown eyes.
"But there is a cure for that."
"Yes, and they have scheduled me to get it in two months. I could very well be dead by then. They say I haven't had it long enough to be deadly. But I can feel it taking everything from me. That's why I haven't been able to breath properly, that's why I have been sick. Because we are so poor we have to have some time to get some money together for the treatment. That will take a while" I look down.
Tears rolled gently down my face. Making pathways through my makeup "All I ever wanted is for us to be together. And you're the only one in my life now. From the day mum and dad died, you have been there for me, as I have for you, and, I'm failing you," I take a deep breath. It hurts.
Joseph reached forward and tucked my black hair behind my ear and stroked my tear stained face, "You will never fail me, Amy. I love you."
I moved forward quickly and gave him a tight hug. This was my brother, my life, my everything. I always said I would die for him, but this isn't for him. I'm just failing him, dumping him here with only his friends, who don't treat him right in the first place.
"Jo, you have a date. Go on, go have fun," I push him away.
"What, I'll be thinking of you the whole time," he said.
"Oh, gross. You'll think of your sister when you're rooting some girl. Trust me Jo, just leave," I punch him on the arm.
He kicks me softly with his foot, leans over and kisses me on the head.
"Love you," he says. I watched him grab his keys and walk out the front door.
The phone rings. I jerk my head up from the table and wipe the drool from my face.
"Hello?" I say in a raspy voice. I pour myself a drink, "What time is it?"
"Hey girl. So, you know how you love all that punk shit?" my friend Josie said.
I smile, "Yeah, it's not shit. It's a lifestyle."
"Whatever. Anyway, down at the 3-4 clubs all these random punk shit bands are playing. I'm up for it if you wanna go." she said in her black American girl voice. I imagined her pursing her lips together and wrinkling her forehead.
"Why do you wanna go?" I ask.
"Uhh, hello. Free beer. Free root if I'm lucky. Oh, common girl. Let's go have fun. I'll pick you up in, like, half hour. It starts at 9. Bye girl," she hangs up.
I laugh and decide to get ready. If I'm going to die I might as well live while I'm still alive.
Half-hour later I answer my door. I look Josie up and down and laugh because she's trying to look punk.
"Shut up girl, it's how you dress," she snaps her fingers and points to my clothes. Ripped blue jeans, a Ramones shirt with a white button down shirt underneath and black all stars. My accessories include a black sweatband that says, "I can do better," and a few necklaces.
"Girl, I thought you were poor?"
"I am. Thanks for being subtle. I've had all my clothes in my house since I was 17, just before my parents died in September. Nothing in this house is new, and we use the money they left us for the bills and shit for the house and food. So, shut up," I look at her. She nods.
"Am, you wear too much black makeup."
I punch her in the arm "Common. Let's get this party started."
We walk into the well-packed club. 3-4 was the new club in town, and they were hitting it off pretty well.
"Ladies and everyone else," everybody was quiet and looked up at the man on stage leaning over the microphone, "Welcome to the 3-4's punk night. We will be having a large range of bands come up tonight and play for us so I want you all to be on your best behaviour. Have a great time people,"
We all cheered.
The first band absolutely sucked. There were 5 people in it and their lyrics said, "All I ever wanted was for us to be in love (in love) all I ever needed was to hold you up above (above) all I ever wanted was for your slow and tender kiss. Everything I wanted happened in a night like this." They got booed offstage.
They next band was called "my sweet horizon." I personally didn't enjoy it.
I walked to the bar and got a bottle of water. I didn't know if I could drink with my condition but water was fine. All of a sudden 3 men walked onto the stage.
I stared at them, and waited for there music to begin.
"I don't know you, but I think I hate you. You're the reason for my misery," the lead singer sang.
I got pulled into their music. It filled me with all of the lost emotions I haven't had for the past 2 years. I turned around to talk to Josie and saw her pashing a tall black man. I smiled and stared back at the band. The bass player was tall. He had bleached blonde hair spiked up.
The drummer was wearing some huge hippy sunglasses on his head and a pink bow tie. He was always pulling faces at his drums, but stayed completely focused in the music. He had bright green hair.
The lead singer was playing electric guitar. He had black hair and perfect skin. He was dancing around the stage by now.
They finished the song and the lead singer said into the microphone, "This was Green Day. Here you go," and he chucked a few CDs into the crowd.
I tried to reach one but I missed out.
"Dammit!" I yelled.
Green Day walked offstage and walked to the table right next to where I was. A few people asked for there autographs and they gave them to them. I walked over to the table they were at.
"Hi. My names Amy and I just wanted to say that you are the best band I have ever heard. I'm ashamed to say I've only heard of you tonight."
The bassist smiled, "Hey Amy. My names Mike."
"Yeah, and I'm Tre," the guy with the green hair said. I smiled and shook their hands.
The lead singer looked at me and I looked back. He smiled and I wanted to melt.
"I'm Billie Joe. And his name isn't really Tre. It's Frank," he said.
Tre hit him across the head, "Bitch."
They laughed.
"Did you come with a friend or someone?" Mike asked me.
"I did. But she is making out with someone, somewhere."
"Spend the night with us then. Hang with us. Do you play an instrument?" Tre asked me.
"Yeah. I can play guitar pretty well. I've only got an old acoustic but I can play electric too," I answer and blush that I don't have new things.
"How old are you?" Billie Joe asked me with a smile. That smile. The one that makes me melt.
"20. You?"
"We're all 22. Tre only just had his birthday 4 days ago," Mike said.
I sat down next to Tre and Billie Joe. This was a dream come true. I was talking to true musicians.
"So, how did you're band get together?" I ask them.
Tre tries to tell me the story but somehow the topic ends up on music.
"Music is a release. Listening to music, is feeling it. But to get to the real side of it, playing music like guitar or drums or, anything really even singing, is how you truly connect. I sit for hours singing and playing guitar because; I have nothing if I don't have music. Know what I mean?" I explain.
Billie Joe, Tre and Mike stare at me.
"That's exactly we feel," Mike smiles.
I lean against Billie Joe and feel him wrap his arm around me. I look at the large clock on the wall. 12.00am.
"All of these bands that have been up don't come even close to how you made me feel. I got completely captured in your music," I admitted.
"Really?" Tre asked.
I nod. "Hell yeah guys. Did we make you horny Amy?" he asked. Mike hit him over the back of the head.
"The truth is Amy, the way you just described music is exactly how we feel. You are one of us now. Sorry," Mike says.
I smile. 'One of them'.
"Sounds great," I say.
We talk for a few more hours and by 3.00am I am exhausted.
"I should go home," I tell them.
"Isn't your friend with some guy though?" Mike asks. I nod.
"I'll drive you home Amy," Billie says.
So with that, I got Mike and Tre's' numbers and told Josie I was going and got into Billie Joe's car.
We talked all the way to my house and when he pulled up at my driveway he told me to stay there. He jumped out of the car and ran over to my side, opened my door, unbuckled my seatbelt and put his hand out. I grabbed it and smiled.
"Thank you," I said in a posh voice. He laughed.
"You're funny. I like that in a girl. You're not fake or anything, you say exactly what you want and what you mean," Billie said with that smile.
He walked me up to my doorstep. I got his number and we stood staring at each other for a moment.
I felt a hand on my waist so I put my hand on his face. He leaned over and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes.
We broke and hugged. "I'll call you Amy. Bye," he said and got into his car. I waved as he drove away.
All of a sudden I remembered. I was dying.
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