"Billie, Doesn't That Ceiling Just Want To Make You Cry?", chapter 1

I was walking down the street to the local star bucks. I was going to get some coffee for me and the guys back at the tour bus. I was under special disguise. Wearing a beret, big sunglasses, and looking low-key, I was sure hoping no one would recognize me.

I walked into the star bucks and went straight to the counter. A young girl wearing converses and ripped jeans was standing next to me. I cleared my throat and made my voice sound less, uh, glorious.
"Can I have, uh, two double lattés, one cappuccino, one hot chocolate and an orange mocha frappuchino, please?"
"Sure, will that be all?" asked the cashier.
"Yep, to go please."
"That'll be $20.25."

While I was searching for a quarter and pulling out the 20 dollar bill Billie gave me, I accidentally pulled out my driver's license, with some other stuff out on to the counter. The girl next to me, who was waiting for her order, happened to lay her eyes on it. She gasped.
"Michael Pritchard?!" she screamed, so did I as heard my name. Shit! She caught me! I thought. As he whipped around to see her, my beret fell off and my sunglasses flew off my face.
"You're Mike Dirnt!" the girl gasped in disbelief. What looked like a group of teenies, sitting at a nearby table, had stopped to watch the commotion. One caught on to the drama immediately.
"OMIGOD! It's that hot bass player from that punk group!" she screamed. Before I knew it they all swarmed me.
"I got his glasses!"
"I love you Mike!"
"Can I have your autograph?"
"Who's your friend with the sexy black hair?"
"What's with the cheesy beret?"
I tried to run away, but they surrounded me, touching my hair and face, and tugging at my clothes, making me lose my balance, until I heard one scream, "I found his crotch!"
Holy shit! I've got to get out of here before god knows what! I though.

I pushed and shoved until I got out of the teenie circle and ran for my life. I burst out of the star buck's coffee and into the New York streets with a mob of like 10 teenies behind me. I pushed and jumped between crowds of people, some I heard say, "Hey isn't that Mike Dirnt? It's that bass player for Green Day! Mike who? Watch it! Who's he running from? I told you I saw him!"

I was so worried about those teenies catching up to me I didn't stop running and dashed out into the middle of an intersection. Even though the traffic light was on red, I didn't look twice and half way across, I heard someone yell, "Mike, watch out!"

I didn't even have time to look in their direction before I saw a giant red blur and felt something hard smash into me. I was thrown against the street and fell unconscious