Billie's Goldfish, chapter 6
*Recap*
Tre, Mike and Billie are the fuckin' happiest people in the world right now. Mike killed Bush, Cheney fucked himself and died(sorry that wasn't in part 5 I just added it now so the country can be awesome again...) There's a new president, the troops are out of Iraq, and AMERICAN IDIOT came out, with Bullet in a Bible soon to follow. The tour is over, and now they are in a pet store, trying to find a pet that can't fit down Tre's pants. Is Bush or some other evil politician in disguise, or some other horror.
Basically no one's POV.....
Tre, Mike and Billie entered the pet store, trying to get a new pet.
Tre munched on some Tostitios as he looked at the dogs. "Come on Billie, this collie isn't bad...she just likes to hump the other doggies..." Tre moaned and whined.
"No dogs. Don't make me resort to getting a pony." Billie laughed at his own joke.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE EVIL BITING PONY'S GONNA COME AFTER ME!!!! NOOOOOOO!" Tre yelled and ran out of the store.
"Got rid of him...now let's get serious," Mike said.
"Okay, what about a cat? I mean, well, we can't let it get in the dryer...you know what happened last time.." Billie said, laughing at the thought of finding their dead cat in the dryer.
"Yeah...that would suck," Mike replied.
They picked out a little Sphynx cat, literally hairless, ugly, but a good laugh. The little kitten prefered to sit on Billie's head, and just look around.
They got back to the house, and the cat was still on Billie's head.
"Whadda think we should name, ummm..." Billie looked at the cat's ass. "Him."
"Coconut Fred," Tre suggested. Mike threw an egg at Tre's head. Tre licked the stuff that was on his face.
"That's gross Tre," Mike said, making a dsgusted face.
"I know. I do it just to annoy you Mike." Tre laughed, and he ran away with Mike chasing him.
"Idiots..." Billie mumbled as he placed the cat on his lap. "Fluffy the unfluffable..." Billie said. "That's your name." The cat meowed in response. "How cool!" Billie said to the cat.
"Well I must be going crazy. I'm talking to a cat now..." He laughed at himself. The cat settled on Billie's lap and started to purr.
Anyway...
Mike and Tre continued to chase each other throughout the house. Mike threw food at Tre, and Tre threw back random things he found along the way.
"You bastard! Why am I chasing you?" Mike yelled from behind Tre.
"I don't remember!" Tre yelled, making a dash up the stairs.
"Gosh I hate it when this happens!" Mike screamed.
"Why does the author make you scream? Don't girls scream? Guys like us yell!"
"I know, this is all completeley random!" Mike yelled.
"I like random things. Like sex monkeys!" he laughed.
"What the hell are those?" Mike yelled once again, starting to lose his voice from all the yelling. He could hear Billie laughing his ass off dwonstairs.
"I don't know! They invade my dreams and scare me a little!" Tre said.
"Ohhhh you wet your bed?" Mike laughed. Tre thought he went too far that time.
He turned around and tackled Mike, making them both fall down the stairs. They were beating each other up at the bottom of the stairs, with Billie laughing and just staring at their stupidity. Mike dragged Billie down there, and soon enough they were all fighting about something they forgot about in the first place.
"My leg is sexier than yours!" Mike yelled.
"Nu-uh!!!" Billie exclaimed.
"Fuck you all! You know mine's the best!!!" Tre added.
"Bring it on you man whore!" Billie said.
"Bring what on?" Tre asked, short term memory loss kicking in.
"I don't know...fuck it!" Billie said.
Soon enough, they heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it..." Billie mumbled, getting up from the now dissolved fight. Billie's shirt was ripped, his sunglasses broken, strung across his face, his hair so messy that it wasn't a way to have it, his tie slung across his shoulders, his pants also ripped and messed up, and his Converse looked like hell ripped through his feet. Mike and Tre looked the same.
"Hello...ummm...officer?" Billie said, his eyes widening.
"Yeah, hi, we got a call about a distrubance from the nieghbors. They said they heard a lot of yelling and a gunshot or something in that criteria..." the officer said, looking at the two men, who obviously went through the same havoc as the man standing in front of him.
"Ohhhh, that was nothing. We just got in a little fight about eggs and sex monkeys, thats all," Billie said, laughing at all of their stupidity.
"So that's what it was all about..." Tre said.
"Yeah, so I'll be on my way, but the next time it happens, please keep it down," The officer said, heading towards his car.
Billie shut the door, looking around.
"I think we need to hire the Merry Maids...this is hell. And we all know that we are too lazy to bother to clean it all up."
"Yep," Mike replied, taking a deep breath.
"Who wants to go to to Starbucks after we clean ourselves up?" Mike asked.
"Sounds good. But where's Fluffy?" Billie asked. The cat meowed from the couch, right where he was left when Billie joined the fight.
"Okay then, there's Fluffy. Now I'm gonna go get changed," Billie said. They all went their separate ways to their rooms to change out of their destroyed clothes.
What a day.
Tre, Mike and Billie are the fuckin' happiest people in the world right now. Mike killed Bush, Cheney fucked himself and died(sorry that wasn't in part 5 I just added it now so the country can be awesome again...) There's a new president, the troops are out of Iraq, and AMERICAN IDIOT came out, with Bullet in a Bible soon to follow. The tour is over, and now they are in a pet store, trying to find a pet that can't fit down Tre's pants. Is Bush or some other evil politician in disguise, or some other horror.
Basically no one's POV.....
Tre, Mike and Billie entered the pet store, trying to get a new pet.
Tre munched on some Tostitios as he looked at the dogs. "Come on Billie, this collie isn't bad...she just likes to hump the other doggies..." Tre moaned and whined.
"No dogs. Don't make me resort to getting a pony." Billie laughed at his own joke.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE EVIL BITING PONY'S GONNA COME AFTER ME!!!! NOOOOOOO!" Tre yelled and ran out of the store.
"Got rid of him...now let's get serious," Mike said.
"Okay, what about a cat? I mean, well, we can't let it get in the dryer...you know what happened last time.." Billie said, laughing at the thought of finding their dead cat in the dryer.
"Yeah...that would suck," Mike replied.
They picked out a little Sphynx cat, literally hairless, ugly, but a good laugh. The little kitten prefered to sit on Billie's head, and just look around.
They got back to the house, and the cat was still on Billie's head.
"Whadda think we should name, ummm..." Billie looked at the cat's ass. "Him."
"Coconut Fred," Tre suggested. Mike threw an egg at Tre's head. Tre licked the stuff that was on his face.
"That's gross Tre," Mike said, making a dsgusted face.
"I know. I do it just to annoy you Mike." Tre laughed, and he ran away with Mike chasing him.
"Idiots..." Billie mumbled as he placed the cat on his lap. "Fluffy the unfluffable..." Billie said. "That's your name." The cat meowed in response. "How cool!" Billie said to the cat.
"Well I must be going crazy. I'm talking to a cat now..." He laughed at himself. The cat settled on Billie's lap and started to purr.
Anyway...
Mike and Tre continued to chase each other throughout the house. Mike threw food at Tre, and Tre threw back random things he found along the way.
"You bastard! Why am I chasing you?" Mike yelled from behind Tre.
"I don't remember!" Tre yelled, making a dash up the stairs.
"Gosh I hate it when this happens!" Mike screamed.
"Why does the author make you scream? Don't girls scream? Guys like us yell!"
"I know, this is all completeley random!" Mike yelled.
"I like random things. Like sex monkeys!" he laughed.
"What the hell are those?" Mike yelled once again, starting to lose his voice from all the yelling. He could hear Billie laughing his ass off dwonstairs.
"I don't know! They invade my dreams and scare me a little!" Tre said.
"Ohhhh you wet your bed?" Mike laughed. Tre thought he went too far that time.
He turned around and tackled Mike, making them both fall down the stairs. They were beating each other up at the bottom of the stairs, with Billie laughing and just staring at their stupidity. Mike dragged Billie down there, and soon enough they were all fighting about something they forgot about in the first place.
"My leg is sexier than yours!" Mike yelled.
"Nu-uh!!!" Billie exclaimed.
"Fuck you all! You know mine's the best!!!" Tre added.
"Bring it on you man whore!" Billie said.
"Bring what on?" Tre asked, short term memory loss kicking in.
"I don't know...fuck it!" Billie said.
Soon enough, they heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it..." Billie mumbled, getting up from the now dissolved fight. Billie's shirt was ripped, his sunglasses broken, strung across his face, his hair so messy that it wasn't a way to have it, his tie slung across his shoulders, his pants also ripped and messed up, and his Converse looked like hell ripped through his feet. Mike and Tre looked the same.
"Hello...ummm...officer?" Billie said, his eyes widening.
"Yeah, hi, we got a call about a distrubance from the nieghbors. They said they heard a lot of yelling and a gunshot or something in that criteria..." the officer said, looking at the two men, who obviously went through the same havoc as the man standing in front of him.
"Ohhhh, that was nothing. We just got in a little fight about eggs and sex monkeys, thats all," Billie said, laughing at all of their stupidity.
"So that's what it was all about..." Tre said.
"Yeah, so I'll be on my way, but the next time it happens, please keep it down," The officer said, heading towards his car.
Billie shut the door, looking around.
"I think we need to hire the Merry Maids...this is hell. And we all know that we are too lazy to bother to clean it all up."
"Yep," Mike replied, taking a deep breath.
"Who wants to go to to Starbucks after we clean ourselves up?" Mike asked.
"Sounds good. But where's Fluffy?" Billie asked. The cat meowed from the couch, right where he was left when Billie joined the fight.
"Okay then, there's Fluffy. Now I'm gonna go get changed," Billie said. They all went their separate ways to their rooms to change out of their destroyed clothes.
What a day.
