Billie the Zombie, chapter 4
"Stupid shovel!" Tré yelled at the shovel that was running around the backyard.
"Here! Catch!" Adie yelled from behind as she threw the dresses to Mike and Tré.
The shovel was laughing hystaricly and screaming, "Cow! Lillyliver! Argh! Anchovies!"
Tré put his dress on upside down, and since he has such a fat ass, it split at the seams.
Mike was smart enough to put the dress on properly, so he was the one who caught the shovel.
"Oh yeah!" He yelled at the retarded little shovel. "In your face!"
The shovel started crying and it died.
Tré was sitting on the ground panting. "I need a beer," he whined. He stumbled inside the house and went to the fridge. He pulled out a dozen beer bottles and went into the living room to drink them.
Suddenly, he heard a noise from the bathroom.
"Sounds like...someone flushing. How odd..."
He crept upstairs to the bathroom and heard the shower going. He gasped.
"Burglars! Taking a shower!" he thought for a moment. "Oh my god...they're gonna run Billie and Adie's water bill way up! I must stop this maddness!"
He tore off the upside down dress he was wearing and stroke a heroic pose.
"This sounds like a job for..." He took a sip of his beer and then continued. "Michael Jackson!"
Michael Jackson appeared beside him and said, "What? I was about to get another face-lift!"
"Wait! Don't cry!" Tré said, patting Michael on the back. "I your help. There's a dude taking a shower here in Billie's house. I need you to scare him off!"
"What am I? Your servant girl?!" He cried. "Leave me alone!" then he disapeared.
Tré sighed and drank some more of his beer. And some more of it. And even more.
"We'll, I guess I b-better get ridda him myself!" Tré slurred. He swayed drunkenly for a moment and yelled, "Away!" and ran into the bathroom. He slipped on the bathmat and spilled some of his beer.
"Nooo!!!" he yelled. He began licking the floor to pick up the spilled drink.
"Tré? What are you doing in here?!" a voice said from behind the shower curtain. It was oddly familar, but Tré was too drunk to remember who it was.
"Get outta this house!" he yelled.
"Get out of my bathroom!" the voice yelled.
"No!"
"Yes!"
The voice sighed. "Tré, you're drunk again, aren't you?"
"Am not! Oh...wait a minute..." he looked at the beer bottles in his hands, but they didn't register in his brain. "Um..." he said.
He suddenly remembered who he was talking to, but just as quickly forgot who he was.
"Oh my god, it's Billie Joe Armstrong!" he yelled girlishly.
"Oh, no..." Billie moaned.
"Like, I totally love you!" Tré yelled. He jumped into the shower with Billie and Billie screamed.
"Aaahhhh! Get out!" he yelled, using one of those poofy washing balls that girls use in the shower to cover himself.
"You're naked!" Tré sqealed. He hopped up and down and slipped on the wet tile. He fell over and Billie jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He ran out the door and into his bed room and locked himself in.
He sighed in relief and started to get dressed.
Suddenly, he heard screaming from outside.
"He's gone!" he heard Adie yell. Billie looked out of the window and saw her pointing into the empty hole. Mike was holding the shovel against his chest and his eyes were darting back and forth.
Suddenly, Billie relized what was going on.
Aliens were taking over the world.
"Oh, wait a minute..." Billie said out loud. "That's not it..."
Suddenly, he heard a noise from the other side of his door.
"He's in there!" he heard Tré's girlish voice call. But it was what he heard next that freaked him out the most.
"Here! Catch!" Adie yelled from behind as she threw the dresses to Mike and Tré.
The shovel was laughing hystaricly and screaming, "Cow! Lillyliver! Argh! Anchovies!"
Tré put his dress on upside down, and since he has such a fat ass, it split at the seams.
Mike was smart enough to put the dress on properly, so he was the one who caught the shovel.
"Oh yeah!" He yelled at the retarded little shovel. "In your face!"
The shovel started crying and it died.
Tré was sitting on the ground panting. "I need a beer," he whined. He stumbled inside the house and went to the fridge. He pulled out a dozen beer bottles and went into the living room to drink them.
Suddenly, he heard a noise from the bathroom.
"Sounds like...someone flushing. How odd..."
He crept upstairs to the bathroom and heard the shower going. He gasped.
"Burglars! Taking a shower!" he thought for a moment. "Oh my god...they're gonna run Billie and Adie's water bill way up! I must stop this maddness!"
He tore off the upside down dress he was wearing and stroke a heroic pose.
"This sounds like a job for..." He took a sip of his beer and then continued. "Michael Jackson!"
Michael Jackson appeared beside him and said, "What? I was about to get another face-lift!"
"Wait! Don't cry!" Tré said, patting Michael on the back. "I your help. There's a dude taking a shower here in Billie's house. I need you to scare him off!"
"What am I? Your servant girl?!" He cried. "Leave me alone!" then he disapeared.
Tré sighed and drank some more of his beer. And some more of it. And even more.
"We'll, I guess I b-better get ridda him myself!" Tré slurred. He swayed drunkenly for a moment and yelled, "Away!" and ran into the bathroom. He slipped on the bathmat and spilled some of his beer.
"Nooo!!!" he yelled. He began licking the floor to pick up the spilled drink.
"Tré? What are you doing in here?!" a voice said from behind the shower curtain. It was oddly familar, but Tré was too drunk to remember who it was.
"Get outta this house!" he yelled.
"Get out of my bathroom!" the voice yelled.
"No!"
"Yes!"
The voice sighed. "Tré, you're drunk again, aren't you?"
"Am not! Oh...wait a minute..." he looked at the beer bottles in his hands, but they didn't register in his brain. "Um..." he said.
He suddenly remembered who he was talking to, but just as quickly forgot who he was.
"Oh my god, it's Billie Joe Armstrong!" he yelled girlishly.
"Oh, no..." Billie moaned.
"Like, I totally love you!" Tré yelled. He jumped into the shower with Billie and Billie screamed.
"Aaahhhh! Get out!" he yelled, using one of those poofy washing balls that girls use in the shower to cover himself.
"You're naked!" Tré sqealed. He hopped up and down and slipped on the wet tile. He fell over and Billie jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He ran out the door and into his bed room and locked himself in.
He sighed in relief and started to get dressed.
Suddenly, he heard screaming from outside.
"He's gone!" he heard Adie yell. Billie looked out of the window and saw her pointing into the empty hole. Mike was holding the shovel against his chest and his eyes were darting back and forth.
Suddenly, Billie relized what was going on.
Aliens were taking over the world.
"Oh, wait a minute..." Billie said out loud. "That's not it..."
Suddenly, he heard a noise from the other side of his door.
"He's in there!" he heard Tré's girlish voice call. But it was what he heard next that freaked him out the most.
