Lonely hearts...yep that's me, chapter 1
My POV
Why can't I just have a simple life, if I think about it now, it's always the preps and the really popular people who get really good lives. Ok, they're not extremely intelligent, in fact I think I've seen more brains in a plastic Barbie doll, but still.
Ok here goes, Girl...or maybe it should be chipmunk, yep chipmunk in disguise. Princess, no, lady sounds too old, Barbie doll shoved in the real world?? What one word describes me? I asked Clara that question the other day and she said... An elephant. Before you ask I'm not extremely heavy and I don't have a phobia of mice, though I think even I would sneeze if one ran up my nose. How about devil... too plain. Dare devil. Yep.
Dare devil, 23 or maybe I should say younger, or even 75, I might get un-refusable offers from men who are on their death beds, oooh now that sounds tempting. How about, old enough to be your grandma but young enough to be your sex slave? Now they always say something like extremely beautiful or GSOH, well if they were ravishingly beautiful or had an amazing sense of humour, why are they even making a lonely heart ad in the first place? That has always made me wonder! So far we have dare devil, 23, I think I might get a lot of offers from that heheeee. Ok, I should probably put in a good trait I have and some hobbies. Good trait, ummmm? Phew, this is hard work. I'm not going to put in the dumb ass blonde "I'm soooo pretty" thing. Maybe individual? Yer individual is good. Ok, what do I look like? Um... tall and skinny, or maybe I should say slim! Slim sounds elegant. Yes, slim, but I'm not elegant so what's the point in tricking people. Black hair, emo, but that doesn't really come into it.
Looking for...? Well, looking for Billie Joe Armstrong but failing that, who am I looking for? Well, I'll just have to find out if Billie Joe is planning on a divorce any time soon. Adie's been lucky enough, it's time to share. Um... GSOH. I never get why people use slang like GSOH. You know, it could stand for Goldfish sandwich on heater. I mean, it probably wouldn't and if it did I'd be a bit worried, to be honest but still.
I guess before I go on, you might want to know a little bit about me. My name's Zoë Trigger and I'm 23, I'm an emo and still looking for Billie Joe Armstrong. I have a thing for emo hair and I'm just waiting for my knight in shining armour, as long as he doesn't turn out to be just some loser in aluminium foil. I'm a strong believer in sharing, but only when it comes to Billie Joe. I think he should be shared. Adie could have him on Monday and Wednesday and I could have him the rest of the week! Fair?
Why can't I just have a simple life, if I think about it now, it's always the preps and the really popular people who get really good lives. Ok, they're not extremely intelligent, in fact I think I've seen more brains in a plastic Barbie doll, but still.
Ok here goes, Girl...or maybe it should be chipmunk, yep chipmunk in disguise. Princess, no, lady sounds too old, Barbie doll shoved in the real world?? What one word describes me? I asked Clara that question the other day and she said... An elephant. Before you ask I'm not extremely heavy and I don't have a phobia of mice, though I think even I would sneeze if one ran up my nose. How about devil... too plain. Dare devil. Yep.
Dare devil, 23 or maybe I should say younger, or even 75, I might get un-refusable offers from men who are on their death beds, oooh now that sounds tempting. How about, old enough to be your grandma but young enough to be your sex slave? Now they always say something like extremely beautiful or GSOH, well if they were ravishingly beautiful or had an amazing sense of humour, why are they even making a lonely heart ad in the first place? That has always made me wonder! So far we have dare devil, 23, I think I might get a lot of offers from that heheeee. Ok, I should probably put in a good trait I have and some hobbies. Good trait, ummmm? Phew, this is hard work. I'm not going to put in the dumb ass blonde "I'm soooo pretty" thing. Maybe individual? Yer individual is good. Ok, what do I look like? Um... tall and skinny, or maybe I should say slim! Slim sounds elegant. Yes, slim, but I'm not elegant so what's the point in tricking people. Black hair, emo, but that doesn't really come into it.
Looking for...? Well, looking for Billie Joe Armstrong but failing that, who am I looking for? Well, I'll just have to find out if Billie Joe is planning on a divorce any time soon. Adie's been lucky enough, it's time to share. Um... GSOH. I never get why people use slang like GSOH. You know, it could stand for Goldfish sandwich on heater. I mean, it probably wouldn't and if it did I'd be a bit worried, to be honest but still.
I guess before I go on, you might want to know a little bit about me. My name's Zoë Trigger and I'm 23, I'm an emo and still looking for Billie Joe Armstrong. I have a thing for emo hair and I'm just waiting for my knight in shining armour, as long as he doesn't turn out to be just some loser in aluminium foil. I'm a strong believer in sharing, but only when it comes to Billie Joe. I think he should be shared. Adie could have him on Monday and Wednesday and I could have him the rest of the week! Fair?
