This Scares Me, chapter 2
Tre:
Oh... My head. It's killing me. All I remember are these lights coming at me when I ran out of the forest. Oh why? Why was I running? Why am I so stupid? Do I deserve this pain? Well... by what's been happening, maybe I do. This is stupid though. I finally came to a positiveness in my mind, and it slipped right from my grasp, and now, I'm drenched in pain, and I can't feel myself, just the pain.
Torry:
I've sighed too many times to care. Jesus fuck.... It... Well.... I'm still in a thinking process here. I know he was hurting, and it was in good intentions, but of course, I made things worse.
I just lay there on the bed, counting the dots on the ceiling, still in my nifty so called pjs. Hm... too many to count, and I think I've counted that one about five times. I don't want to think about this, about him. But I know I have to. I had only tried to kill him hours before.... and then I loved him again. Yet, I had never stopped loving him. How could he accept me back like that? After what I had done?
Why had I really tried to kill him in the first place? It really wouldn't have made anything better. I realized that. I knew that well enough now. This was just too much. Now I can understand why he took off like that. Just left. And I missed him. But, if he ever forgives me, forgives himself for that matter, then.... well, god only knows now.
I mean, what if Tre isn't okay? Things would only fall from there. Or just keep falling. But, where would that take us, two of the members out of that band of theirs.... er.... this really is my fault.
Billie:
This stupid note... why? Why leave like this? Can't he see what this is doing to us? Stupid questions. Only making things worse. Well... no, yeah, making things worse. Why would he be so immature about it? Running away from his problems didn't help solve anything, they weren't going to go away, isn't he supposed to be the mature, smart guy here?
Tre:
Uh... I'm trying to open my eyes. It hurts so bad. I'm starting to feel myself again. Thank fucking god.... I'm laying on something cuch(sp?), even greater.... Aw shit, it's bright in here too... stupid sun and windows. That is NOT a good combination at all.
I cover my eyes with my hand, the one I wasn't smothering with the rest of my feelingless lump of a body. Ah.... I feel so damn sore... I had been hit by something, and pretty damn hard too. Wonder who it was...
Mike:
Still nothing out here. I can't get her out of my head either. No matter what I think of, whatever I do, she has something to do with it, and it becomes dirty. I .... I think I loved last night... what happened, for some reason. I think I really did. It bothers me, yeah... but I mean... Tre never- -He never... never.... She loves me too right? I mean... I do, so much.
I want her to love me. I really do. Flashbacks or what happened are coming back, and it makes me feel good, to remember her cries, her soft skin, her beautiful hair... It feels so nice... I do love her. But what if I'm just some filling? That she doesn't really care about? Some filling for Tre?
That's not what I want to be. I want to be her guy. I want to be talking to my friends, and point to her, and say, 'That's her.' That's the kind of guy I want to be. But, of course, the thought always comes up. I don't think I will ever get her out of my mind, it's useless. I shouldn't bother trying.
Torry:
Hm..... I can't stop thinking abut him. I know he had to have at least kind of enjoyed last night..... I know he has to care... he has to... Shit... Now there's tears involved in this. Not like there haven't been before, but... I dunno. Tre didn't really care about me as much as I know Mike does. Why won't he just tell me? Why could he just leave me like this? Leave this whole place behind.
Billie:
Jesus fucking christ, man... Why are song lyrics coming to my head now... god.... Right about now there's a fucking Green Day song for everything, I'm sooo fucking proud....
Torry:
These sheets.... They still smell like him... wow, Mike has a scent. Interesting. It's a nice one too, but it sucks when there's no words to describe how hot a guy smells. I wish there were though, cause it smells... wonderful.... really wonderful... now, it's like he hasn't really left, even though he has. More like he has left a piece of himself with me. To stay in this bed. But I know I can't do that, I would go fucking psycho.
Actually, I think it just smelled like sex, but... Mike still smelled good.
I'm gonna have to leave this bed sometime....
Billie:
Holy shit... Did... Did Tre just move? He hasn't moved at all since we got home...
"Tre? Are you... Are you okay?" I whisper over to him. He cringes. I guess there's too much light in the room. I rush over and close the blinds real quick, and crouch down next to him. "Tre? I know you are awake, you are."
He kinda nods his head. He was probably too sore. He still had dried blood covering just about half of his face, but we could fix that later. And his arm looked... unusual. I think it might be broken... oh god... And I hit him in the car too... but, he doesn't know that. Good... There's enough trouble as it is.
His eyes fully open, and his eyes are very glassy. Very unusual, his eyes didn't even get glassy like that when he was piss-ass drunk. I bit my lip in frustration, I didn't know what to say. I was happy that he was okay, but how could I tell him... Mike left..... It keeps playing in my mind, and we don't even have a single clue where he is.
"What?" Was all Tre could ask.
Oh... My head. It's killing me. All I remember are these lights coming at me when I ran out of the forest. Oh why? Why was I running? Why am I so stupid? Do I deserve this pain? Well... by what's been happening, maybe I do. This is stupid though. I finally came to a positiveness in my mind, and it slipped right from my grasp, and now, I'm drenched in pain, and I can't feel myself, just the pain.
Torry:
I've sighed too many times to care. Jesus fuck.... It... Well.... I'm still in a thinking process here. I know he was hurting, and it was in good intentions, but of course, I made things worse.
I just lay there on the bed, counting the dots on the ceiling, still in my nifty so called pjs. Hm... too many to count, and I think I've counted that one about five times. I don't want to think about this, about him. But I know I have to. I had only tried to kill him hours before.... and then I loved him again. Yet, I had never stopped loving him. How could he accept me back like that? After what I had done?
Why had I really tried to kill him in the first place? It really wouldn't have made anything better. I realized that. I knew that well enough now. This was just too much. Now I can understand why he took off like that. Just left. And I missed him. But, if he ever forgives me, forgives himself for that matter, then.... well, god only knows now.
I mean, what if Tre isn't okay? Things would only fall from there. Or just keep falling. But, where would that take us, two of the members out of that band of theirs.... er.... this really is my fault.
Billie:
This stupid note... why? Why leave like this? Can't he see what this is doing to us? Stupid questions. Only making things worse. Well... no, yeah, making things worse. Why would he be so immature about it? Running away from his problems didn't help solve anything, they weren't going to go away, isn't he supposed to be the mature, smart guy here?
Tre:
Uh... I'm trying to open my eyes. It hurts so bad. I'm starting to feel myself again. Thank fucking god.... I'm laying on something cuch(sp?), even greater.... Aw shit, it's bright in here too... stupid sun and windows. That is NOT a good combination at all.
I cover my eyes with my hand, the one I wasn't smothering with the rest of my feelingless lump of a body. Ah.... I feel so damn sore... I had been hit by something, and pretty damn hard too. Wonder who it was...
Mike:
Still nothing out here. I can't get her out of my head either. No matter what I think of, whatever I do, she has something to do with it, and it becomes dirty. I .... I think I loved last night... what happened, for some reason. I think I really did. It bothers me, yeah... but I mean... Tre never- -He never... never.... She loves me too right? I mean... I do, so much.
I want her to love me. I really do. Flashbacks or what happened are coming back, and it makes me feel good, to remember her cries, her soft skin, her beautiful hair... It feels so nice... I do love her. But what if I'm just some filling? That she doesn't really care about? Some filling for Tre?
That's not what I want to be. I want to be her guy. I want to be talking to my friends, and point to her, and say, 'That's her.' That's the kind of guy I want to be. But, of course, the thought always comes up. I don't think I will ever get her out of my mind, it's useless. I shouldn't bother trying.
Torry:
Hm..... I can't stop thinking abut him. I know he had to have at least kind of enjoyed last night..... I know he has to care... he has to... Shit... Now there's tears involved in this. Not like there haven't been before, but... I dunno. Tre didn't really care about me as much as I know Mike does. Why won't he just tell me? Why could he just leave me like this? Leave this whole place behind.
Billie:
Jesus fucking christ, man... Why are song lyrics coming to my head now... god.... Right about now there's a fucking Green Day song for everything, I'm sooo fucking proud....
Torry:
These sheets.... They still smell like him... wow, Mike has a scent. Interesting. It's a nice one too, but it sucks when there's no words to describe how hot a guy smells. I wish there were though, cause it smells... wonderful.... really wonderful... now, it's like he hasn't really left, even though he has. More like he has left a piece of himself with me. To stay in this bed. But I know I can't do that, I would go fucking psycho.
Actually, I think it just smelled like sex, but... Mike still smelled good.
I'm gonna have to leave this bed sometime....
Billie:
Holy shit... Did... Did Tre just move? He hasn't moved at all since we got home...
"Tre? Are you... Are you okay?" I whisper over to him. He cringes. I guess there's too much light in the room. I rush over and close the blinds real quick, and crouch down next to him. "Tre? I know you are awake, you are."
He kinda nods his head. He was probably too sore. He still had dried blood covering just about half of his face, but we could fix that later. And his arm looked... unusual. I think it might be broken... oh god... And I hit him in the car too... but, he doesn't know that. Good... There's enough trouble as it is.
His eyes fully open, and his eyes are very glassy. Very unusual, his eyes didn't even get glassy like that when he was piss-ass drunk. I bit my lip in frustration, I didn't know what to say. I was happy that he was okay, but how could I tell him... Mike left..... It keeps playing in my mind, and we don't even have a single clue where he is.
"What?" Was all Tre could ask.
