Asleep, chapter 41

"You'll do it again, anyway."

Mike's voice sounded in Billie's head.
His annoying voice.
It was full of treason in Billie's view.

And his own answer.

"No!"

So defiantly,
like a three - year- old.

Billie grinned sarcastically at the aspirin in his hand.

"No... I'm not gonna do it again."

He let out a laugh.
A laugh that scared even himself.
Why the hell was he laughing anyway?

He swallowed the pills.
Three this time.
He knew it would give him hell.

He hadn't taken them for a few weeks now,
so he wouldn't be used to them the way he used to be.
And although he knew the procedure would be painful
and he would want to die
he still took all three of them.

Fuck what Mike said.
He didn't understand anything.
At all.

And fuck the little white lie.
Mike would never come to know it anyway.
Unless Billie would tell him again in his drunk stupor.
But he swore to himself that he wouldn't make that mistake again.

But hadn't he sworn the last time, too?

Fuck it.

He let himself sink down on his bed,
laying his head on his pillow.

The surroudings seemed to get dizzy,
filling with magical mist.

Billie stared at the light pink clouds on his ceiling.

Why did Tre think he was the kind of person about which you feel you have to take care of?

He didn't do anything to worry about.

As he kept staring,
the clouds got misty and turned slightly violet.