FORGIVENESS....
FORGIVENESS
Eleven simple letters arranged in a way that has such a big impact upon human beings. It plays such a role in our lives, without which there would still be many emenities formed, and the world wouldn't be how we percieve it today.
It is something we all crave, for we are all humans, and thus make errors, and unintetionally hurt others. Some times the hurt is intentional, but we regret it imediatly afterwards.
There are times when we hurt others without relising it, and sometimes that person hides the hurt so we carry on abusing thier friendship until they can stand it no more and lash out. In this such instance now two people beg for forgiveness as it was a simple misunderstanding. However sometimes that is not the case. For example in the example listed before, who would you say is to blame? Now your answer maybe "I dont know as I dont know these people". Personally I'd say they are both equally to blame, the first person for abusing the friendship, and the second person for not rectifying thier mistake imediatly and allowing it to grow into something big that could jepordise thier relationship.
However you could say that alls well that ends well, and suggest that the two make up and forgive each other. But here comes the second question..
what if one of them didnt deserve to be forgiven?
What if the first person was fully aware that thier actions would hurt the second person, but carried on nevertheless?..
would you say that this person should be forgiven? What if they feel that they have suffered injust from the second person, and wish to make them feel their pain?
Where do you draw the line between stubborness and navity?
What if the first person apoligised to the second person, even though the second person was the one who hurt them first, however their hurt was unintentional..as ooposed to the intetional hurt on the first person's behalf?
What would you suggest?
Personally I have come to the conculsion that, if you know a relationship is worth fighting for, then you should forgive the other person, no matter how big the hurt. In most intense relationships, such as age old friendships, or newly found love, if you think that you feel strongly for the other person, may it be friendly love or romatic love, then you should give it your all.
Now by this I dont mean just to forgive and to forget imediatly, for we are all human, and no matter how much we say we arent bothered or affected by something, chances are that we most probably mule them over day && night. What
I am saying, to quote "To Kill A Mockingbird", you have to get inside someone's skin and walk about in thier shoes for abit, basically, you have to percieve the other person's point of view, see where they are comig from, understand thier motives and objectives, and relise that maybe they are not fully to blame. We all have our bad points, we all have a little demon inside us, sometimes we feed the demon so much that it finally bursts out fully grown and destros an otherwise strong relationship.
Some would say that learning to curb this demon is the main objective, I'd wish you good luck with that, until this date I have never heard of a human being flawless, we are humans, we are meant to make mistakes, the real test is how we deal with our mistakes, how we rectify them.
Now say for example if you had an age old friendship, and one of the friends supposedly hurt the other by kissing someone they hated. Now suppose the other person [who shall be called person number2], suppose they then were visited by the person who kissed person number 1, who had come to apologise and patch up the friendship, suppose if this third person and person number 2 used to be lovers, and in a burst of confusion kissed, just as person number 1 walked in. Now you have a very confusing situation on your hands, a potental relationship and an old friendship is at stake.
Of course one could say that person number 1 was to blame, some may say person number 2, whilst others may concur and lay the finger on person number3, at the end of the day, it was all a misunderstanding. Of course it would be expected that all three of the apologise as they all had a part to play, however if they were to be stubborn and claim that they did nothing wrong, or refuse to hear the other person out, thats just plain closemindlessness, and they are being selfish.
Also if one of them kept making suicide threats, it proves how immature and selfish they are, that they'd allow a certain incident take over their lives, and they dont care for all the people they hurt.
At the end of the day what I am trying to say is, that you should at least first hear the other person out, and try to view things from thier point of view. Then if they seem genuine, be the bigger man and accpet thier apology, dont be a drama queen and make a mountian out of a mole hill. However, if you feel thhat thier apology is only half-hearted and that they constantly abuse your relationship without care and are never therefore you, you must also relise that maybe you are better of without them.
Sometimes there comes a time in life, we all have to take of those rose-tinted glasses and see things, and indeed ourselves for what & whom they and we are.Sometimes we have to go that extra mile to reach out to a friend in need, but it must come from the heart otherwise there is no point, if you fake a smile and walk of , for things will only become uglier.
As a wise person once told me honesty is the best policy.
Eleven simple letters arranged in a way that has such a big impact upon human beings. It plays such a role in our lives, without which there would still be many emenities formed, and the world wouldn't be how we percieve it today.
It is something we all crave, for we are all humans, and thus make errors, and unintetionally hurt others. Some times the hurt is intentional, but we regret it imediatly afterwards.
There are times when we hurt others without relising it, and sometimes that person hides the hurt so we carry on abusing thier friendship until they can stand it no more and lash out. In this such instance now two people beg for forgiveness as it was a simple misunderstanding. However sometimes that is not the case. For example in the example listed before, who would you say is to blame? Now your answer maybe "I dont know as I dont know these people". Personally I'd say they are both equally to blame, the first person for abusing the friendship, and the second person for not rectifying thier mistake imediatly and allowing it to grow into something big that could jepordise thier relationship.
However you could say that alls well that ends well, and suggest that the two make up and forgive each other. But here comes the second question..
what if one of them didnt deserve to be forgiven?
What if the first person was fully aware that thier actions would hurt the second person, but carried on nevertheless?..
would you say that this person should be forgiven? What if they feel that they have suffered injust from the second person, and wish to make them feel their pain?
Where do you draw the line between stubborness and navity?
What if the first person apoligised to the second person, even though the second person was the one who hurt them first, however their hurt was unintentional..as ooposed to the intetional hurt on the first person's behalf?
What would you suggest?
Personally I have come to the conculsion that, if you know a relationship is worth fighting for, then you should forgive the other person, no matter how big the hurt. In most intense relationships, such as age old friendships, or newly found love, if you think that you feel strongly for the other person, may it be friendly love or romatic love, then you should give it your all.
Now by this I dont mean just to forgive and to forget imediatly, for we are all human, and no matter how much we say we arent bothered or affected by something, chances are that we most probably mule them over day && night. What
I am saying, to quote "To Kill A Mockingbird", you have to get inside someone's skin and walk about in thier shoes for abit, basically, you have to percieve the other person's point of view, see where they are comig from, understand thier motives and objectives, and relise that maybe they are not fully to blame. We all have our bad points, we all have a little demon inside us, sometimes we feed the demon so much that it finally bursts out fully grown and destros an otherwise strong relationship.
Some would say that learning to curb this demon is the main objective, I'd wish you good luck with that, until this date I have never heard of a human being flawless, we are humans, we are meant to make mistakes, the real test is how we deal with our mistakes, how we rectify them.
Now say for example if you had an age old friendship, and one of the friends supposedly hurt the other by kissing someone they hated. Now suppose the other person [who shall be called person number2], suppose they then were visited by the person who kissed person number 1, who had come to apologise and patch up the friendship, suppose if this third person and person number 2 used to be lovers, and in a burst of confusion kissed, just as person number 1 walked in. Now you have a very confusing situation on your hands, a potental relationship and an old friendship is at stake.
Of course one could say that person number 1 was to blame, some may say person number 2, whilst others may concur and lay the finger on person number3, at the end of the day, it was all a misunderstanding. Of course it would be expected that all three of the apologise as they all had a part to play, however if they were to be stubborn and claim that they did nothing wrong, or refuse to hear the other person out, thats just plain closemindlessness, and they are being selfish.
Also if one of them kept making suicide threats, it proves how immature and selfish they are, that they'd allow a certain incident take over their lives, and they dont care for all the people they hurt.
At the end of the day what I am trying to say is, that you should at least first hear the other person out, and try to view things from thier point of view. Then if they seem genuine, be the bigger man and accpet thier apology, dont be a drama queen and make a mountian out of a mole hill. However, if you feel thhat thier apology is only half-hearted and that they constantly abuse your relationship without care and are never therefore you, you must also relise that maybe you are better of without them.
Sometimes there comes a time in life, we all have to take of those rose-tinted glasses and see things, and indeed ourselves for what & whom they and we are.Sometimes we have to go that extra mile to reach out to a friend in need, but it must come from the heart otherwise there is no point, if you fake a smile and walk of , for things will only become uglier.
As a wise person once told me honesty is the best policy.
You have a way with words. Definetly.
The way you wrote that was totally amazing.
As Kate has already said, You've hit the nail on the head.
And i must say i fully agree with what you've said.
<33
serenade sarahh, April 14th, 2007 at 12:54:31pm
I abosolutely LOVE to kill a mockingbird. It's an amazing book, it can go hand in hand with forgivness. Part of being able to forgive someone is understanding why they hurt you, and the quote you used represents that very well.
Kurtni, April 14th, 2007 at 11:47:49am
Wow Kim .
This blog is amazingly written .
And also with my own experiences I must say I agree fully .
As you know I have been in fights over both rediciolous things , and serious things .
What I am saying is that it is better to forgive , and talk about things , than just throw away an amazing relationship with a person you hold dear . Just because of one thing that went wrong .
Trust me .. I know .
Mr. Teatime, April 14th, 2007 at 06:12:42am
I hate the saying forgive and forget.
It's never that easy.
germma margaret!, April 14th, 2007 at 05:44:59am
I want to say something, but i'm speechless. You've hit the nail on the head and i can't say you've missed anything. It's just amazing
We're Outlaws, Yeah!, April 14th, 2007 at 05:33:06am
I admit I didn't read it all because I have to go now.. But so far that's really good.
I'll read the rest tomorrow including your other blog if I remember. :)
Skippy., April 14th, 2007 at 05:31:57am
<33333
Tholomew Plague, April 14th, 2007 at 05:29:34am