I srsly don't know.
I srsly don't get anything these days.
I mean - things are fkn great.
But then why do i feel so useless and helpless?
Bleh i dunno.
I think half of it is because of this one kid.
I love them so much it's rly not funny.
And i mean, they broke my heart.
Tore it out of my chest and stomped on it and threw it in the bin.
Then, they fixed it.
And i can't be happier about it.
But i'm confused - i'm pretty sure they love me, and i sure as hell love them.
We tell each other every single day.
But i dunno - are we together or not?
I mean, does being 'together' mean you have to formerly ask them?
Is it an emotional bond or does it have to a physical one?
It confuses the hell out of me.
I wish i could talk to them about it - but i just can't!
We used to be able to talk about everything, but lately i've been scared of them.
FUCKING SCARED OF THEM!
And i don't know why - maybe cause they've changed so much?
Or that things that they said in the past really effected me and now i can't see them the same.
Even though i can't help but still be madly in love with them?
I wish we could be close like that again, but i don't know why it's so hard for me.
And then all these other things too.
I mean - my twin brother is taking everything away from me!
FUCK!
Kay, i have ideas, friends, practically everything - and he comes in and claims them as his own!
I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO CALL MY OWN!
Shit.
>.<
For one - we always have a joined party with HIS and MY friends - with the "traditional" people.
And suddely this year, he's lost all his friend [fyi - not my fault LMAO liz] and he only have 4 people on his list, of which only 2 are from the other 2 parties, and my list of 10+ people are all the traditional people.
And he's bringing all these new people, even though he was the fucking one who said "only traditional people"
SHIT!
>.<
And i told him i didn't want this one girl there, and he's like "she's coming - bite me" and i told him then i'm not having the party and not having one at all and he goes "fine - i'll just have my own party and invite all your friends, and you can just piss off".
WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM?!
Thinks the whole world is in love with him.
SHIT!
And for our birthday dinner - he chose the hardrock cafe and i want this little chinese place up the road from us, and he's like "no!" and so now we have to fucking do what he wants.
IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!
It makes me cry.
And i feel like it's going to force me into old patterns.
And i don't know if i completely hate it.
=/
But i love having Liz here for me.
She rly is my best friend in the world.
I'm shit without her.
She's my stress ball.
Can't live without her.
I'd explode - or implode :]
Thanks Liz.
Ily. XD
Bleh.
Whatever.
I don't know what i'm saying and noone will read this.
:]
But does anyone have that?
If it's your twin, or jsut a random brother/sister?
And are you kids so inlove with someone, but never been more confused about what's going on?
Then comment this :]
I mean - things are fkn great.
But then why do i feel so useless and helpless?
Bleh i dunno.
I think half of it is because of this one kid.
I love them so much it's rly not funny.
And i mean, they broke my heart.
Tore it out of my chest and stomped on it and threw it in the bin.
Then, they fixed it.
And i can't be happier about it.
But i'm confused - i'm pretty sure they love me, and i sure as hell love them.
We tell each other every single day.
But i dunno - are we together or not?
I mean, does being 'together' mean you have to formerly ask them?
Is it an emotional bond or does it have to a physical one?
It confuses the hell out of me.
I wish i could talk to them about it - but i just can't!
We used to be able to talk about everything, but lately i've been scared of them.
FUCKING SCARED OF THEM!
And i don't know why - maybe cause they've changed so much?
Or that things that they said in the past really effected me and now i can't see them the same.
Even though i can't help but still be madly in love with them?
I wish we could be close like that again, but i don't know why it's so hard for me.
And then all these other things too.
I mean - my twin brother is taking everything away from me!
FUCK!
Kay, i have ideas, friends, practically everything - and he comes in and claims them as his own!
I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO CALL MY OWN!
Shit.
>.<
For one - we always have a joined party with HIS and MY friends - with the "traditional" people.
And suddely this year, he's lost all his friend [fyi - not my fault LMAO liz] and he only have 4 people on his list, of which only 2 are from the other 2 parties, and my list of 10+ people are all the traditional people.
And he's bringing all these new people, even though he was the fucking one who said "only traditional people"
SHIT!
>.<
And i told him i didn't want this one girl there, and he's like "she's coming - bite me" and i told him then i'm not having the party and not having one at all and he goes "fine - i'll just have my own party and invite all your friends, and you can just piss off".
WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM?!
Thinks the whole world is in love with him.
SHIT!
And for our birthday dinner - he chose the hardrock cafe and i want this little chinese place up the road from us, and he's like "no!" and so now we have to fucking do what he wants.
IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!
It makes me cry.
And i feel like it's going to force me into old patterns.
And i don't know if i completely hate it.
=/
But i love having Liz here for me.
She rly is my best friend in the world.
I'm shit without her.
She's my stress ball.
Can't live without her.
I'd explode - or implode :]
Thanks Liz.
Ily. XD
Bleh.
Whatever.
I don't know what i'm saying and noone will read this.
:]
But does anyone have that?
If it's your twin, or jsut a random brother/sister?
And are you kids so inlove with someone, but never been more confused about what's going on?
Then comment this :]
i love you so much
;xx
notcool, May 8th, 2007 at 02:24:25am
I felt the same thing with the guy that I like. We were happy and everything before we put a label on it.
Nothing changed when we were going out, but the label.
That's what scared me was the "i'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend" thing.
But I'm sorry your twin does that to you. I haven't had any experience with that, but yeah. Have your own party separate.
jenna:hearts:spencer, May 6th, 2007 at 05:28:57pm
Hey.
thanks. you know? that meant a lot to me.
f*ck kid.
Im worried about you.
im always worried about you.
I think its unfair what hes doing, cause i know what youre talking about. otherwise, i dont think that made much sense honey.
What I think you should do is say "f*ck you. im not even going to come to your party. Im not going to be in the house. you knwo what?!?! im not even going to be in sydney because im going to Goulburn and im going to gatecrash Liz's house and have a real birthday. so f*ck you"
okay??
But i dont know how to help you with the other thing..?
waiting_a_long_time, May 6th, 2007 at 05:29:59am